Mar 25 2011Reader, You Are...NOT The Father: Scientists Successfully Create Lab-Grown Sperms
The race: you lost it.
In one of the first steps to rid the world of dudes, a group of feminist (no, not really) Japanese scientists have successfully grown mice sperm (I thought they looked like mice!) in the laboratory. Me? I only grow weed in the laboratory. Kidding! Totally in my closet.
...they hope to be able to do the same for humans in the not-too-distant future. They say it could be used to "aid prepubescent boys about to undergo cancer therapies that destroy fertility. It could also protect the reproductive potential of endangered animals that might die before reaching sexual maturity, he adds.
Fun fact: did you know sexual position can affect your chances of getting pregnant? It's true. But it does NOT affect the sex of the baby. That all depends on the day of the week!
Researchers successfully grow working sperm cells in a lab [dvice]
Thanks to Jordan and special k, who agree every sperm in that picture deserves a purple 'participant' ribbon for their effort.
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Reader Comments
1. sazzy - March 25, 2011 4:11 PM
yah! now lets race them
2. Skylar. - March 25, 2011 4:12 PM
You're assuming I was getting laid anyway.
3. Alchemy scientist - March 25, 2011 4:12 PM
Soon enough we'll have the worlds first homunculi and then we are all fucking doomed. God damn scientists.
oh and first? maybe?
4. sazzy - March 25, 2011 4:17 PM
Hey GW! how come your website goes on EST? don't you live on the west coast now?
5. Jonathan - March 25, 2011 4:17 PM
I'm in agreement with @1. If science can make it, mankind can turn it into:
1) a sport.
2) a drinking game.
3) both.
6. guinnessman - March 25, 2011 4:25 PM
____ __ .' o `.
/~----,\___/,--.`- ,_\.'
`-----' `---'`
7. lololol - March 25, 2011 4:26 PM
[Trollface.jpg]
8. guinnessman - March 25, 2011 4:26 PM
______ ___.' o `.
/~----,\___/,--. ,_ |
`-----' `---'`
Ascii art Fail- I was trying to do a sperm :(
9. Shelbon - March 25, 2011 4:28 PM
@5 Well hopefully it doesn't end up like most Amurican races: Turn left, turn left, turn left...wait for it... omg! he turned left.
10. Jonathan - March 25, 2011 4:31 PM
@9: Hey! I saw that Jeff Dunham skit, too.
11. doll - March 25, 2011 4:32 PM
noooooo were obsolete now! i always thought i was special becuase i broke through the condom and beat a million other sperms
12. Pubixcube - March 25, 2011 4:32 PM
@8 Not sure how that even resembles a sperm but cool.
@3 Whats a homunculi?
13. Brittiny - March 25, 2011 4:33 PM
Yay! who needs men I hate them !!
14. Chip Chipperson - March 25, 2011 4:43 PM
tss...tss...@13 so like how you sex stuff? tss...tss...
15. Lacey - March 25, 2011 4:50 PM
@5 I vote #2 ;-)
16. Rancid Dook - March 25, 2011 4:57 PM
mow mow
I am a complete douchebag. Remember me from now on as the biggest douche ever.
mow mow
17. Shelbon - March 25, 2011 5:24 PM
@12 There are many different definitions of the word, but I think he meant the version that defines a homonculus as a fake or artificial dinner.
18. Pubixcube - March 25, 2011 5:32 PM
@17 Thanks. So he's afraid that scientists are going to create an artificial dinner out of sperm? Sorry I'm so daft...
19. Waka - March 25, 2011 5:50 PM
Where my religious nuts at? We need some hate here.
20. Crusader for the Book - March 25, 2011 5:56 PM
@19. This is utter blasphemy! You sinners shall all go to hell! You are playing God! This abomination will not be tolerated by the Lord! Evolution didn't happen! Etc.
21. Luz - March 25, 2011 6:03 PM
Whats the idea of creating sperm of an animal that doesnt reach aldulthood? if that example of the animal is not strong enough to survive, why the fuck would you want its offspring??????? TO SAVE SPECIES?? OR TO DOOM THEM WITH A DAMN FUCKING DNA THAT ASSURES THEY WILL DIE??? or now you're gonna tell me that animal dies because some weird unknown illness attacked it and was not well fed so it couldnt fight the illness??? or maybe it didnt have a good inmune system to fight it because its DNA DOES NOT HAVE THAT INFORMATION?
22. Luz - March 25, 2011 6:04 PM
It's called fucking natural selection dumbass scientist! what makes you think that you can correct nature deciding certain animal should live although it died?
23. Richard McBeef - March 25, 2011 6:17 PM
if i new sperm was so valuable that it needs to be farmed I probably wouldn't leave so much of it in wadded up kleenex's next to the keyboard.
24. Shelbon - March 25, 2011 6:20 PM
@18 wow.. That was a fail. I should really proof read what I type. I meant to say human* but somehow I typed dinner lol
25. Pubixcube - March 25, 2011 6:31 PM
@24 Best lol all day. Thanks.
26. Richard McBeef - March 25, 2011 8:57 PM
@24 - freud says somebody's hungry for spunk.
27. Lab Grown Sperm - March 26, 2011 12:52 AM
Pretty much any of you that comment here qualify as lab grown sperm.
28. Nataya - March 26, 2011 4:23 AM
Having a serious deja vu here! Anyway, @ Shelbon thanks, you just made my morning!
29. andreeuh - March 26, 2011 2:29 PM
Hmm....I don't agree with this.
1: if the universe decides that it doesn't want you reproducing then its for a good reason.
30. Christian Weston Chandler - March 27, 2011 7:01 AM
I do not personally liek this. This is only going to encourage some girls to remain unmerried and boyfreind-free. How can guys like me find true love with stuff like this coming out?
31. cda - March 27, 2011 9:45 AM
$8857757349397476 for whoever takes Julian Assange's stem cells to them.
there will be a new agency for child support.
Wikileaks indeed.
32. NorthwestClassic - March 27, 2011 10:13 AM
@21 gtfo we already artificially inseminate animals, the difference is basically negligible.
33. dssd - March 28, 2011 10:29 AM
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