Mar 28 2011NOT ON THESE TEATS YOU'RE NOT!: Breast Milk Baby, The Breastfeeding Doll


Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you're one of those women that'll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don't give a f*** if I stare or not (I'm going to is the thing).

Breast Milk Baby is a real $99 baby doll that, when presented with a special apron you wear with flowery "nipples", starts suckling like a baby. Then you throw it over your shoulder and burp it or whatever. I don't know, the point is it tries to suck nips. It's supposed to be for little girls! I want one! No -- one for each teat. So three total.

Hit the jump for videos, the first of which is a product demo complete with the worst sound effects ever. The second of which IS NSFW REAL MOMMY-NIPS.



Official Site
Is the world ready for a baby doll that breast-feeds? [] (one of daily reads)

Thanks to Julie, who feeds her baby dolls the old-fashioned diet: handfuls of sand and gravel. Mmmm, so good.

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Reader Comments


This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell its a fake becayuse the shadow's are all wrong.

This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max got his IP banned from a website, so he drove his moped over to Baja's house and posted his gems of wisdom from there.

Plus- first.


i think this is beautiful and teaches girls important things about boobs

Wtf with people like #1? Is that some new spam bot that post that stupid shit like that on random blogs?

mow mow

In a world where we promote Teen Pregnancy (IE: Teen Mom Show) we now inch closer to a world where we promote Pre-Teen Pregnancy.

The people who made this abomination should have their feckin skulls split wide open. Thank you for shitting on the world you sick fcks.

mow mow

This is genuinely and sincerely worrying if this is actually real. What next, a phalacio doll that teaches aspiring hookers how to be good hookers?!?!?!?!?!


The kid on the second video is funny, he's like "go get your own titty, (points to breasts he's suckling) dems mine".

@ 4 - you must be new here.

@4 You've never seen Daisy post before? You must be new around here.

@5 Once I see the stupid "mow mow" shit, I go right to the next post. Your attempt at creating some kind of internet meme isn't working.

@6 So a mother beast feeding equals hooker? Strange world view you have there.

mow mow

What the hell is a meme? Its mow mow, not me me...
You got a problem with me? I'll crap all over you man...head to toe...
You fail to see my wisdom. But you must cool, cuz I're BigBadBongo. Epic...

mow mow

That's just creepy

Kill it, kill it with fire!


No I am not new here at all, and I have see Daisy post before, and that's exactly why I wonder why its always same shit that doesn't have anything to do with the article. I thought it was a bot, but I guess if its real person, its just sad that s/he does that for no reason.


tss tss...yeah he's a pretty stupid guy ya what is that a catcow or sumpthin...tss tss....

mow mow

@16 And you're what? A struck match being put out by water??? Ya know, us eccentrics need to stick together. Instead you're backin up BigBadBongo?

By the way...a catcow would fuukin rock and you know it.

mow mow


I hereby coin the phrase Jerky in reference to @1. May that type of post forever gown down in Internet history along side spam, ham and bacon.

Why Jerky? Well, because it's a user driven post which is not spam in direct nature and is mmmm mmmm good in small quantity, but if you have too mush shoved down your gullet you choke.

Simple enough.

And they're right. The shadows are all wrong.

Could they have found a little girl that looked less impressed with the toy presented to her? Seriously, she looked like me at my last proctologist exam...I think that was her in the first shot...

This is more disturbing than the push-up bra for seven year olds.

You can't take my name. It's already in double use on a meat porn forum.

I swear that girl knows how awful it all is, but she goes along with it. She must need the money.

That might be taking things a little too far.

all girls think about is penis and babies i prey separately

mow mow

@24: Well you're half right. I think women tend to think mostly about just babies...
Allow me to present you all with some wisdom. If you find yourself in a relationship and the girl begins to talk about babies...whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT, have sex with her.

mow mow

Here ya go little girly, it's a dolly that sucks your kiddie nips.

Brian Williams enters in:

5 . . .

4 . . .

3 . . .

2. . .

Horrifying toy is horrifying.

There's something you need to know...I am Chris Hansen and we are doing a story on adults who...


I've breastfed a baby before but............
This is disgusting!

@1 @4
yea, the shadows aren't wrong and plus why would someone fake something like that? LOL and besides, i don't think they would hire someone to breastfeed on a commercial if they did.

and p.s.: any wrong shadows are because of the lighting used in filming. just because some of these look like they are done in their basement doesn't mean they are. and if they did, they probably still have lighting set ups.


I do not know how to express how horrid this toy concept is.

However I would love to here what JeepersMedia has to say about this.

We need to conduct a focus group for this...

Thats not the real Daisy... Daisy spells NeVeR BaCk DoWn with weird capital letters and is never a first-tard.

Also this is kind of creepy.. I don't think little girls need to learn how to breast feed. I know they like to play house and stuff.. but this is a little too real.

I always enjoy a dallop of daisy.



While I can appreciate the need or motive to educate little girls about babies and stuff, there is an uncomfortable creepiness that comes from watching that...

and while "skull splitting open" doesn't appear to be any sort of normal or rational reaction, I am watching this thinking "who the hell is the target audience"?


thats pretty funny

The little girl looks none too happy about playing with her doll...

You all act like your momma didn't love you.

This is really not any weirder than dolls that urinate and defecate, especially when you use those words to describe it.

My first thought was that the strap on boobie apron thing was actually going to have fillable boobs... that might be pushing it.

Does the real baby look like it has a bruise or cut on it's nose? Child abuse! Plus, the little girl looks so resentful to the whole situation. And no self respecting videographer uses a vignette!

WTF? And they wonder why 12 year olds are getting knocked up.

I think that it's promoting a meaningful bond between a mother and child. My daughter is breastfed, and I can pretty much guarantee you that she is closer with her mother than a baby would be who was strictly bottle fed.

Why shouldn't kids be taught that this is what breasts are meant for? I mean don't get me wrong, I love tits as much as the next guy, but our society seems to have completely forgotten that women don't have them to entertain us.

I say good on ya to who ever decided to make this toy, today's youth are horribly misguided and uneducated when it comes to things like this; things that a lot of society finds "taboo."

Yeh. Teach little girls that all they need to do is pop out a kid and stick a plastic bottle with some powdered crap and water down the infants throat to shut it up, trying to hold it as little as possible.

Don't teach them that their body will change for 9 months, that they will have to stick that screaming infant to their body 8 - 12 times a day for 15 - 45 min at a time for a minimum of 12 months more like 2+ yrs to prevent obesity, certain cancers, diabetes (in both the child and breastfeeding mother).

Don't tell them that having a child means your life as you knew it is changed forever and this new life takes precidence.

Oh..and back when teenage pregnancy was a horror...they HAD These dolls. This is nothing new. Little girls knew the moment some dude stuck his dick in them the chance of you having a screaming infant latched onto your tits was the result. NOT getting a TV deal on MTV, shoving the kid off to your parents or friends but losing your life, being an outcast and now having to find a way to provide for another life unless you were "lucky" enough to be forced to marry the father and then you could be stuck with him for the rest of your life, the both of you hating each other's guts for those 5 - 10 minutes of rather shitty sex.

If I had the money I'd order a billion of these dolls...and then give them to the adults who are too selfish and want to party so they give them powdered chemical shit and then wonder why breastfed kids don't spit up, don't have disgusting smelling poop, don't get sick, are 90% more likely to have properly developed jaws and straight teeth, have less chance of ear infections, and are less likely to suffer from obesity, depression, cancer, diabetes when they grow up.

the mow mow dude has a good point for once.

I'm right with ya #46, I completely agree!

Sweet this is awesome! (by awesome I mean crazy wrong like WTF that's like one step away from strapping on a toy va jay jay & pop'n out lil bloody booby suckn dolls O_0 )

@45 - Bob you may think of this as some sort of learning tool. If you want kids to learn about these things at an age when they're still playing with dolls then you teach them on your own you sick weirdo. These things should be learned when they are at least in high school and can read about, and comprehend it. If you're a parent who wants your kid thinking about sex and babies before they're 10th birthday maybe this is the toy your child needs. I think I'll wait til they get a little older. I was formula fed from a bottle and I'm fine. My mom didn't do this so she could irresponsibly get loaded and not have to worry about me. She did it because she had to work a job to pay our bills. We, like most families in the world, were poor. So she didn't have time to whip out her tits 12 times a day for two years. My oldest brother was breastfed and he was a clingy mama's boy who lived at home til he was 27 and still hasn't found a girl and he's about to turn 40. I wasn't breastfed and I moved out when I was 18, have a beautiful wife (who was also bottlefed as a baby) and we're about to have a kid. I'm almost 30. So kiss my powder milk drinkin ass you douche. When you give your little girl this doll why don't you just go ahead and give her a vibrator so she can learn about that too. Oh and yes the mow mow thing is annoying and dumb. I agree.

Dangit dude, you coulda at least warned us that the sound doesn't come 'til halfway through the clip. I spent 5 minutes smacking my speakers and restarting it before I realized The Distance by Cake was still softly playing in the background.

@50. captain misfits

Go back to your mom's basement. Everyone is perfect on the internet. I ate rocks as a child and now I only date women that pose for SI Swimsuit edition. I also have a 15" penis.

#45 speaks facts. Can be proven time and time again. No matter how many times you spout undocumented drivel the facts speak for themselves. Breastfeeding is what a child should be raised on. Is it coincidence that a woman gives birth and at the same time she produces milk???? It's suppose to happen. Isn't nature great. Go ahead and raise more douchebags on powdered sugar and soy (that's real healthly). There are not enough beer swilling toothless aholes in the world yet. I will stay over herer on the correct side of the tracks raising a healthy well balanced family.

I really don't see anything wrong with this doll (other than the poorly done advertisement for it). The market is saturated with baby dolls that come with bottles to feed them, yet it is proven healthier and better for infants to be breastfed- What is wrong with teaching young girls that THIS is the better way to nourish their infants, even if only in pretend play? That lesson will stick with them throughout life, and perhaps they will grow up to properly feed their real children, like nature intended.

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@All in support of this doll:
I would like to emplore you all to construct this image in your minds. Your 8 year old child dressed up in fake nipples with a plastic baby sucking on them.

Also, in my experience, toys that imitate real life typically lead a child in the direction of wanting the real thing more and more. So ya, wait until they get bored with "My Little Nipple Sucker" and decide they want the real deal.

And to all you "Oh its natural and healthy" people. That may be so, but it doesn't change the fact that there is a time and place for this education. It's called maturity.

thats fuckin gross

@54- But, you are missing the point that there ARE already hundreds of baby dolls in the toy aisle... and ALL of them come with bottles to feed them- No one seems to have a problem with THOSE children "maturing" too fast, or being lead in the direction of wanting the real thing. Almost all little girls dream of growing up and being a mommy- I don't think maturity has anything to do with it.
You all seem to have a dislike for the delivery system of the "food" to the baby doll. If it's a bottle, then apparently it's fine (as no one here is complaining about all of the other baby dolls on the market that shit their pants and cry to be fed)... if it mimics real life that you are uncomfortable with, then you deride it and call it "my little nipple sucker". It's just odd to me, is all.

This is another reason not to trust this.

Ok, I can see your point. My head's not completely filled with cement.
I'm not fan of the crapping/peeing babies either, but yes I see that it is the boob that makes this toy controversial. So maybe the problem here is that its wrong to think of the breast as an object of sexuality...

I guess it just comes down to who you are as a parent and whether consumers as a majority are ready for this "toy".

However, this does not change the fact that I believe we have a huge problem when we turn teen pregnancy into realiy tv. Does this "toy" contribute to that? I don't know. Probably not. I still hate the world we live in.

I effing hate baby dolls as it is, gendered toys which try to instill at such a young age what the roll of a woman is (MAKE BABIES) but this is kindof the extreme of that IMO, as it pretty much demands that it can only be used by girls, as they're the only ones who would preform this act in later life. Next they'll be making little pregnant bellies to go with the baby dolls, just so the message "THIS IS YOUR ROLL IN LIFE, GET USED TO IT" is nice and clear.

@50 You are really immature and I'm not sure if it is because your mother seemed to prefer your brother to you, but you should probably speak to a therapist about that and the fact that you are so hyper-sexualized you equate the natural method of feeding babies with vibrators. Pretty messed up...get help for that.

NEWSFLASH: The natural and best way to feed infants is NOT pornagraphic or sexual. At All!

You -think- it is because your surf too much porn & internet and watch billions of dollars of ads by Carnation & Nestle telling you that shoving powdered chemicals via cold hard plastic into a baby is actually good.

Get your (*&(&* heads out of the porn and out of your own butts.

And umm got issues. Sorry ..but there ARE certain things that only certain genders can do. Men can't give live birth to human infants and women can't pee standing up and write their name in the snow with any sort of penmanship. Get the hell over it and stop crying because you were born a man/woman/herm/whatever.

Why does breast feeding cause such a rise out of people? I woild rather a child was brought up to know this is how humans feed infants, rather than feeding a child powdered cow milk with fish heads in a bottle shaped like the end of a penis ( that is way creepier in my opnion!) why can't breastfeeding be considered the norm?

@ 11. No I dont think that breast feeding mothers are hookers. I being sarcastic that you oh so seemed to miss altogether. My world views are fine. Yours clearly not as you dont fathom sarcasm.


Obviously douche is bob under a different name. Either way he's a loser. I've never been in a basement. You have a 3 inch penis. So anyways babydick, save us all the wait and go ahead and hang yourself now instead of waiting til right after you "accidentally" rape some little kid because they wandered too close to your front door. Ha! And oh yeah, please don't reproduce if you get the chance. You are strongly disliked. I repeat: do not have children.
Jenn, while I understand and agree that it is the natural method to feed your child and it is not pornographic, I believe children should be raised well enough to where they will understand the facts even if their toy babies have bottles instead of big plastic boobs to suck on. When they hit puberty it's probably alright to teach them about the human

body's many functions. I'm certainly going to coach my daughter on the processes of childbirth and everything thereafter until she's old enough to handle that information. Stop trying to be right and just accept that although your reasons make sense, you probably won't be running out to pick up the breast-feeding baby doll anytime soon... or ever.

I don't have any problem with the doll, but I do think it is an insane waste of money. If you want your kid to learn about breastfeeding, breastfeed them, and breastfeed their siblings. If you buy them a doll, toss out the bottle and let them nurse it themselves. I have a breastfed 16 month old that adores dolls. The bottle that came with her doll sits in the toy box collecting dust while she wanders around the house, patting the doll's back and cuddling it, and stopping every so often to sit down and hold it against her chest while making a "Omnomnom" sound. She also insists I pretend to breastfeed her various teddy bears, while she sits beside me and watches carefully so she can mimic me. I fully expect that when she has a younger sibling in a few years, we will go through it again, and she will grow up understanding what breastfeeding is, and what breasts are really for. She doesn't need an expensive doll to practice breastfeeding, or to play at being a breastfeeding mommy. When your older children use a bottle to feed a doll, take that time to explain about breastfeeding, and how babies are born wanting to breastfeed, that bottles are for only special circumstances. Include it in your talks about body changes, sex, and puberty. Show them breastfeeding videos. Breasts aren't sexual, they've just been highly sexualized. Sort of like ankles were in the early 1800's. Used to be ankles sold beer, now boobs do. I think waiting to explain these things causes more teen pregnancies than it prevents. Kids should understand what sex is, what it does, and what comes of it. They should understand what a baby is, what it needs, and how demanding of a little darling it is. Information is power, and we should give that to our kids, and give it to them early. They're going to play at it anyway, and you can damn well bet they're going to be exposed to it the minute they begin to watch TV or pay attention to media. I'd rather they hear the facts and truth from their mom and dad, rather than gathering some half-truths and misfitting puzzle pieces from other kids, TV, and the media, and trying to fit it into a whole that's missing pieces. Information isn't dangerous, it's empowering. Empower your children.

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