This is a series of Harry Potter pickup lines told between two girlfriends on Facebook, both speaking as if they had a penis. And maybe they do. That's cool, I just don't want to see it. Not in real life anyway. If it was a Polaroid or on TV I might take a glance but then peep at the rest of the people in the room and try to act like them and not -- AND NOT cross my eyes and yell 'BONER BONER BONERS!' like instinct would dictate. I'm rewiring my animal brain, yo! No, no I'm not. I am rewiring my apartment to run off my neighbor's electricity though. I've never read any of the Harry Potters so I didn't get a lot of these references. So yeah, feel free leave your best Harry Potter pickup line in the comments. [Insert something about your Golden Snitch breaking my broomstick like a toothpick]
Harry Potter Pickup Lines [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Maria, who insists she'd actually listen to a guy tell Harry Potter pickup lines. Jesus, you might as well pour bleach in the gene pool!