Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

March 27, 2011 - April 2, 2011 Archives

  • April 2, 2011
    Penny pincers. Get it?! Me neither, the guy next to me at Starbucks told me to say it and he's been in the bathroom for 40 minutes now which is bad news. This is a video of a surgeon from Swedish Hospital in Seattle (THAT MAKES ZERO SENSE) showing off the dexterity of a Da V... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    If you're like me you make gin in the bathtub. It does the trick, but more often than not you end up with a bottle with pubes and a washcloth in it. Plus it tastes like apricot facial scrub. Enter the $1,900 Synergy Home Beer Brewing System. It's not your granpappy's moonsh... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Less teeth, guy on the right! This is a video of three dudes singing the theme songs to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Duck Tales and Pokemon cartoons. They're very...expressive. Like in a show choir-y kinda way. Plus I don't know what they did to the frame-rate of the v... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Note: Click HERE for a full-size 7' version of the chart in case you want to print it out and tape on a bedroom wall to make love to or whatever. A geeky father, excited about his daughter's upcoming first birthday, decided to make her a geeky growth chart. This is her him st... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Sticky business -- wocka wocka wocka! Packing tape: it's not just for holding my phone together anymore. In an effort to provide an unconventional means for artists to display their talent sell the everliving shit out of some packing tape, Scotch (the adhesive company, not th... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Note: Possible speaker damage due to low bass, adjust volume accordingly. This is a guy shredding a phonebook WITH NOTHING BUT THE FORCE OF BASE. "It's bass, not base." Uh, I'm pretty sure bass is just some kind of fish aside, who knew music had the power to destroy? *tapes... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Hang in there, Michelangelo! As reported back in June 2008, Chinese street vendors have been selling bagged keychain fish for awhile now, but have since also moved to keychain turtles. WTF!?!? Zombie Jonathan is probably crying his lil' turtle-liking heart out right now! ... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    ATTRACTIVE LIKE MAGNETS. PLUS PRETTY! Am, uh, am I the only one here that didn't know the earth was magnetic? "Oh God, tell me you're joking." APRIL FOOLS'!!!!!11 No but seriously that was news to me. A European spacecraft has mapped the Earth's gravity with unrivalled p... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2011
    Seen here keeping a non-drug using friend's urine just the right temperature before smuggling it into a piss test, magic Coffee Joulies were designed to cool coffee to a drinkable temperature 3x faster, then keep it there 2x longer. Sound like boner pills to me. Coffee Joulie... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    Energy AND protein -- I'm down. 19-year old liar Vitaliy Sulzhik claims he found a dead mouse in the bottom of a Monster Energy drink. YOU SHUT THE F*** UP VITTLES -- I USE THOSE THINGS FOR CHASERS SOMETIMES! Vitaliy Sulzhik had downed the energy drink shortly after buying... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    This is a rap battle between Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. It was surprisingly well made (I don't expect anything to be well made anymore). The only thing I didn't like was Einstein talking so much smack on my man Hawking for his disability. Low blows, especially comi... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    J&D's, the same company that brought us bacon mayonnaise, bacon lip balm, bacon envelopes and bacon popcorn, is back at it, this time with huffable bacon-flavored oxygen. But, before I go any further, TOMORROW IS APRIL FOOLS' DAY -- don't let anybody fool you. So on that note... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    This is a short (1:14 -- thank God) film about a young couple getting to know each other when the dude finds out the girl hasn't seen any Star Wars movies. It's pretty terrible. But I had to watch it thanks to tipster Karin (WHO I WILL TRACK DOWN VIA IP ADDRESS) and now you d... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    Note: The world didn't end in the spring of '97, click HERE to see the whole chart through the present. This is the history of web browsers through the ages, with the popularity of each represented by the thickness of its band. You can learn a lot by looking at it. Namely, h... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    Awesome, Los Angeles got me the middle of the Indian Ocean. Which, SPOILER ALERT: so will everywhere else in the continental United States. Alaska gets you close to Antarctica, but only Hawaii gets you on solid ground, in southern Africa. Weird, I could have sworn growing up... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    Again from The Game Station (who are quickly becoming the Stephen King of video game-related Youtube videos) comes this interactive Left 4 Dead number. Number, get it? Like Left 4 Dead. I AM THE TIE-IN KING! "No." Prince? "No." Stable boy? "Moat-digger." SONOFA! It's l... / Continue →
  • March 31, 2011
    Pfft, call me when you have enough for mahjong. That's not actually Magic, I know. But I couldn't read what the cards say so I'm running with it. Also, with one of those beer helmets on TO STAY HYDRATED. Allegedly they're not even real iPhones, but Chinese knock-offs (bu... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    Looks like a normal coloring book page, right? Something a parent might reluctantly hang on the refrigerator while mentally reminding themselves to take it down before any guests can see it? WRONG! It's been dosed with drugs. *tears open mail licking everything* Back in Fe... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    I've seen an Alabama Craigslist version of this ad floating around the past couple days that's word-for-word the exact same, but this one was posted a month ago (complete with convincing looking picture of LEGO Mindstorm time machine component), so it's obviously the real one (... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    Pikachu pepperonis, just sayin'! "Uh, that would make a piece of Pikachu in HALF the bites." GOD YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! This is a pizza crafted to look like a pokéball. A couple things: 1. holy shit could that thing be any greasier? I'm surprised the bottom of the box wasn'... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    No not the show, dummy. 12-year old Jake Barnett has Asperger's Syndrome and an IQ of 170 (~10 points higher than Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking). He takes collegiate astrophysics classes for breakfast. Okay, not actually for breakfast (Eggos FTW!), but he does take them... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    The Gunbrella is a real £10.99 (~$18) product that looks like one of those pop-guns with the flag that comes out that the Joker would point at Batman. Except it's an umbrella. But it does have an auto-open "trigger" so you can still aim it at people and scare them. Just not... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    Nice try NASA, but I know the moon when I see it! Note: High-res version HERE in case you want to look for aliens. That's right folks, this is the first close-up (close-up being relative) photo of Mercury sent back to NASA from the MESSENGER (because Mercury was messenger to ... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    I was going to try sneaking 'penis' into the title instead of pens but I assume you've been to enough bachelorette parties to know candy peens already exist (you dirty, dirty girls, you!). This is a pen made out of the same candies as those necklaces so you can eat it when you... / Continue →
  • March 30, 2011
    Those...are some serious cans. NOTE: Full-size version HERE in case those things aren't big enough for you already. This is a steampunk Wonder Woman (digitally) painted by deviantARTist papaninja (aka Serge Birault) using his wife as a model because she wouldn't let him use... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Zeta -- really? Not even Zora or Zelda? Note: It's dangerous to go alone! Full-res shot HERE. I'd recognize that sword and shield anywhere! Unless they were at a crime scene in which case, nope, never seen that shit. Officer what do I look like, some sort of adventurous... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Ever wonder what happens when you run a lightsaber factory entirely with Gungan slaves and absolutely zero quality control? This. That thing's not even a lightsaber anymore, that's a lightlasso. *swinging over head* Quick, somebody point me at a tauntaun! *PSHFWWWUUUMMMMMM!... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Damn Harry, cast 'constipation breaker' STAT! Fires: nobody wants to die in one (or a Black Friday stampede at Wal-Mart). And now scientists believe they're close to developing an electric-bolt shooting wand (personally, I imagine more of a Ghostbusters proton-pack THAN A FLA... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    This is a machete-shooting slingshot. Or you could call it a crossbow. Just don't call it a catapult or you might wind up with a machete in your gut. From a general standpoint, it's badass, but from a zombie-apocalypse standpoint it's really not that practical because: 1. i... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Because sadness knows no bounds, Cloudgirlfriend.com is allegedly a real website launching soon that will create fake-ass Facebook girlfriends for dudes so they can interact with them and, I dunno -- feel even worse about themselves? Make other girls jealous? Listen guys -- i... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    This is The Game Station's sequel to their Brothers Mario trailer, again in the style of a Grand Theft Auto game. It's good. This one focuses on a new don moving to town (don Key Kong!!!!!!11) and demanding a piece of Bowser's action. The rest is history explosions and chees... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Wine: it makes you kiss all sloppy with your tongue and then the whole world spin until you wind up in bed without showering holding one hand against the wall and the other to the floor swearing to Dionysus you'll never drink again if you just don't puke. You'll pass out and n... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2011
    Forrest could take 'em. This is a video from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology of two autonomous quadrocopters playing ping-pong (or table tennis, but NOT table pennis, which is what you play when you want to clear out a dinner party). So yeah, they want to take over ... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    Picture moderately unrelated. The Healing Heroes Project is a nonprofit venture by do-gooder Scott Hall in which he gives terminally ill children in the hospital superhero "templates" to color and create the way they'd like, then Josh uses them to customize existing action fi... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    Space isn't actually colorless, I just made that up so people who only read the headline go spread misinformation and hopefully lose bets. But for the rest of you, nothing but the facts. My penis could feed an entire village for 18 months. Plus NASA uses Photoshop to manip... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    This is a video made by BoingBoing featuring seventy oldschool video game deaths in less than three minutes (all set to an 8-bit version of Mad World). If your first console was a Playstation, you'll probably recognize less than ten of the games. Now I know what you just real... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    Note: There are two videos after the jump. The first one you can watch. The second one FEATURES REAL-LIFE MOM-NIPS AND SHOULD BE CONSIDERED NSFW unless you're one of those women that'll whip a tit out in a restaurant cause you don't give a f*** if I stare or not (I'm going to... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    Looks like we're in good company -- high-five, Liberia and Myanmar! We're miles ahead of all those other countries, amirite?! No? Kilometers behind? SONOFA. *takes 3/4" socket off penis and chucks over cubicle wall like a grenade* "OW!! WHO THREW THIS?" Quick -- look ev... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the -- nope, dude shot me right at a f***ing wall. This is the fan-made trailer for a make-believe Angry Birds war movie. It was created by the same folks that brought us the 8-Bit Interview video posted awhile back but that probably... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    Note: Larger version HERE in case you want to print out on photo-quality paper and slip it in the front of your Trapper Keeper (who doesn't?!). This is a baby unicorn. Except not really because it's all "copper tube, aluminium and steel wire armature, Padico Premier stoneware... / Continue →
  • March 28, 2011
    I know the screencrap looks like a crappy paint scraper, but you really have to watch the video to fully appreciate the future of condiment cleaning technology. Oooooooooor just call it fake and gay (I really encourage you all not to use gay though) and move on with your life.... / Continue →
  • March 27, 2011
    Note: Slightly larger version HERE in case you like things bigger. God, just move to Texas already! Ever wonder where video game bad guys threatening the US in first-person shooters come from? Russia. Every single one, all commies. Just kidding, a lot come from outerspace ... / Continue →