Brap! Pop! Flush!: Comic Book Toilet Paper

Toilet paper: you wipe your ass with it (except this guy, who may use circuit boards). Sometimes you even use it to clean up spills. And sometimes you use it as a napkin and then don't understand when your stomach is upset later (SPOILER: YOU ATE DOODOO PARTICLES). Personally, I prefer unprinted TP because in 20 years scientists are gonna discover the dye they use to color it gives you butthole cancer, and I ain't getting another pig-butt transplant. I may be an organ donor, but if I find out somebody turned my ass into stadium hotdogs after I died I am gonna be PISSED. Probably from hell.
Product Site (coming soon for ~$6.50/roll)
via
Plop! Comic Roll Toilet Paper [walyou]
Thanks to Darren, who only uses bleached toilet paper because he's convinced it helps keep his o-ring sparkling.
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Because ass cheeks are like snowflakes and melt on your tongue no two are alike, Japanese researchers have developed a biometric car seat that uses 360 sensors to measure your unique ass pressure to verify the driver's identity. No word what happens if you fart during a readin... / Continue →
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From ass-wipe to art, toilet paper tubes: apparently they're multifunctional. But what's gonna happen when the new tubeless TP rolls take off? Your guess is as good as mine. Unless you guessed anything besides, "absolutely nothing", in which case, congratulations, you're the... / Continue →

