Timeline Of The Best Christmas Presents
Note: Please don't squint and damage your eyes -- God knows they've already suffered enough from all the masturbating. Click HERE to see a high-res version.
This is the (Subjective) Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever. I guess it's not really Christmas-specific like I mentioned in the title, but I'm a liar and I have a drinking problem. Anyway, I was born in '81 so the chart is only a year off for me, and fairly accurate. As a matter of fact, the only things on the list I've never had are the Fashion Plates and Clueless shoes (although I specifically asked for both), iPod, camera, iPad and iPhone 4. Which -- WTF is up with all the Apple stuff anyway? STOP ASKING FOR THAT STUFF, FOLKS. Fun fact: every time a stocking is stuffed with an Apple product instead of something from Santa's workshop Santa has to murder an elf because he doesn't have the heart to lay them off. Do you want that on your head? I don't. But a propeller beanie? Absolutely.
The Subjective Timeline of the Best Gifts Ever [milo]
Thanks to The Lion The Witch and the HJ, who, OH REAL MATURE!
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Now I know what you're wondering, "Jesus, GW -- are you really posting this just so you don't have to bookmark the product page to find it again?" And yes, that is 110% why I'm posting this. That and I have a birthday coming up and I have yet to receive a single present. You... / Continue →
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Because Mother Nature is completely out of her f***ing mind, decapitated rattlesnakes can still strike and cripple/kill their enemies up to an hour after being decapitated. They can't fly though, so now would be a good time to start saving for that jetpack. Rattlesnake venom ... / Continue →
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This is the leather belt lovingly crafted by leatherworker Julia for her brother's birthday. It features the last level of Super Mario Bros. painstakingly pressed out and painted. That's a belt I would be proud to wear. Now hear me out: let's say I was bad and deserved a spa... / Continue →
