Get an igloo, God!
What, reindeer and elves not doing it for you anymore? Seen here about to ride the Polar Express to Plowtown on a bear wearing a scarf, Santa apparently decided to add himself to the naughty list this year. You krinky, Saint Nick! Which -- you didn't actually mean to leave the switches at my house last year, did you? That's what I was afraid of: sex toys.
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Thanks to Sarah, who swears she saw Mrs. Claus getting down with a penguin in somebody's yard this year. NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
This is a Christmas tree with a Cthulhu plushie on top and a bunch of tentacles stuck on branches. Because why shouldn't Christmas be more about scaring children? "Who told you that?" The Santa at the mall with the evil clown face! Just kidding, it was at a rave and he told... / Continue →
Yes, that's really my local liquor store. Yes, they really open at six every morning. Yes, I've been there when they unlock the door. HAAAAAAAAPPY HOLIDAYS!! Hope you're all having a great break and haven't sleighed(!!!!!!!!11) any relatives yet. I came close to braining a... / Continue →
These are Christmas trees made entirely from hanging ornaments in the style of a mobile home. Except they're not actually trees, just the shapes of trees. Provided trees are fairly uniform cones. And speaking of cones: ice cream -- I could really go for some right now. Mayb... / Continue →