Dec 17 2010Armored Safehouses For Zombie Apocalypse

safehouse-1.jpg

This is a zombie-proof armored "home" made from recycled ship steel by Atelier Van Lieshout. It's striking resemblance to my neighbor's pedovan aside, I don't know if I could actually live in one. Sure it's got a toilet, wood stove and bench, but you know what else it has? An entrance that looks a little too easy to lock from the outside. I mean, what good is a safehouse that somebody else can lock you in? No good at all! As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even call that a safehouse, just a place to masturbate until you starve to death. No thanks, Atelier! (I still loved you in Assassin's Creed though)

Hit the jump for a shot of the cozy interior.

safehouse-2.jpg

When the Apocalypse Happens, You'll Find Me in My Armored Home [gizmodo]

Thanks to Mr. Sausage, who wants to live in a meat-safehouse. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU'LL BE DEAD IN A MATTER OF MINUTES!

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Reader Comments

F1rst>>>

^^F*ck yeah I rock! im calling my mom!^^

THIRDTARDED!

Looks like a Sauna I went to near Helsinki

Too much rust. Last thing you need in the zombie apocalypse is tetanus.

wow. looks unbelievably fallout-style depressing up in there.

seriously GW, what happens when your pedo-van owning neighbours read your blog and find out you got their car towed TWICE huh :P

I think hilarity is what would happen

Where's the hdtv?

why not just get a shipping container if you want to hide from zombies in a big steel box?

Looks like a really big Texas style smoker. Just build a fire under it and cook the occupants low and slow. The screaming adds flavor.

Why would anyone want to save the Zombies from an apocalypse?

Louis of http://aprettyage.blogspot.com/

WTF? That's worse than my Mom catching me whacking off to Goatse photos on the interwebs.

.... *sigh*. Really?

It needs more wheelchair access so bloated sacks of human waste like myself can enjoy it as well.

I still hold firm to my theory of living in a zeppelin to be safe from zombies.
I ain't never heard of no hover-zombies.

@5: Well, that might be one way to stop a zombie hoard... infect them all with tetanus and turn them into rigid zombie statues.

@8 If we were really under zombie attack we could also just crawl up and hide inside your Mom's crusty overused box as well. The decor would stink to high hell, but it would be a lot roomier than this.

Pay no attention to the rest of me - the body lives but the brain died long ago.

.... *sigh*. Really?

That looks like the worst fucking place to be in a Zombie apocalypse. If they find out you're in there, and they inevitably will, you're fucked. One way in and one way out, no where to run. Not big enough to hold all the food and supplies one would need to live therefore you will be venturing out often which raises chances of attracting zeds. I'd rather take my chances on the road with a big truck and a bunch of guns.

@19 - I wish I could upvote you.

@14: But the best bet would to be to live on the Moon. Or Mars. I ain't heard about Martian zombies.

@19 besides, theres no way to look out to see if the zombies are gone

I still say @19 has the best idea, or move to some place that is too cold for zombies to survive but your still able to live a decent life!

Why did they spend all that time welding this thing when they could have just bought a regular commercial dumpster?

http://www.wastecare.com/Products-Services/Compactors/Trash_Compactors/Compactors_Self_Contained/Compactor_Self_Contained_35_Yard.htm

Total fail. If they bought a dumpster, at least it'd be painted. They come in green, blue and yellow. I'd probably go with yellow.

Oh hell, if there's a zombie apocalypse I want one of these things and a six pack of beer:

http://www.machsources.com/productimages/12168/soil-compactor.jpg

I'd have the apocalypse over in time for dinner...although I probably wouldn't be hungry for a few days.

@21... id be more worried about the Aliens (GIGER) from the movies... I would rather deal with a zombie apocalpyse than those bastards...

Oh GW you mispelled Altair..... IF YOU CANT SPELL IT RIGHT THEN DONT TYPE IT AT ALL!

@19 can i contract you to make me a moble anti-zed safehouse? ill pay in hugz and cookies :3

You guys realize zombies aren't real, right? Therefore by process of elimination the apocalypse must be Terminators, and those things will pop this open like a can of sardines.

i could make it useless with a potato.

this is garbage. why would you wanna live in here to starve to death as opposed to being undead like the zombies? at least you can wander around freely when you're undead.

anyway, a better place is to barricade yourself in walmart. who's with me?!!

looks a bit crap to me......

speaking of crap, where do you empty it ??

Congratulations! You have survived the zombie apocalypse only to die of tetnus because you tripped in the hunk of rust you call a safehouse. How do you feel?

Pre-rusted huh? Does it come with a tetanus shot?

Wait wait wait a damn second GW. This seems like a ploy by the robots to kill humans indirectly. Zombies would surrond that thing pretty quickly and you'd be trapped inside. I'm saying it's a robotic ploy because I know distrust anything made of metal. KFC SPORKS ALL THE WAY! I drink using dixie cups, they are the make for perfect sized shotglasses. I also might have to stop using computers because they are like the robots single cell. Though I suppose you could say it's a circuit board but DON'T QUESTION MY LOGIC DAMNIT WHO ARE YOU SPOCK?!

@21 What happens when you run into Borg? Would you rather be a zombie or a part of the collective?

Why do the spammers even bother? This is a nerd site, not a shopping one.

If this thing had a hatch on the roof and a ladder to get in and out it would be better....Also if you could strap it to the back of a semi-truck.

1) The sound of hoards of zombies pounding on the metal walls insesintly would drive anyone insane. The reverb in there would be killer.

2) Tetnus

3) You would die of carbon monoxide poisoning. The stove pipe would get block by zombies/debris/random item and you wouldn't even know until it was too late because you are trapped in your own god damned "safe" house.

4) It locks from the outside? the lock inevitably will be broken from the outside then. and then you're just seconds away from zombification.

there are more stupid reasons but seriously.... fuck this thing. I say a more viable solution would be to create more of these and lure zombies in, then lock the door and dump in the ocean. Or better yet have a detonation sequence when the door locks and blow em up. Something; ANYTHING better than living in the god forsaken shit hole.

I'd buy that for a dollar! Actually, give me 42 of them.

lol at all the half brainers trying to emulate GMs witty humour.
Actual its not a lol, its more of a recognition of the dumbfuckery that goes on it the comment section.

Admittedly, its not all bad.

I wonder where they got my old trailer.

Wow... that seems a hellish place to have to spend any time in. It looks like something out of a SAW movie.

My vote is for a truck and guns, with maybe a dirt bike strapped so you can take it down for extra mobility... like getting around inside a walmart or a mall.

Keep moving... I'm pretty sure that's rule one.

Bad design.

The door hinge configuration would be an issue after opening and closing 20 times. Too much weight on too long of a hinge assembly.

Furthermore it's already rusting. A few showers of acid rain and you've got a hole that a Zombie could stick his finger in. And in just 50 or 60 years the hole would be big enough for a small Zombie to crawl thru.

Finally it a matter of comfort. Who's going to sleep on a wood rail bench? You Lt. Weinberg?

so i understand the usage of ships metal due to the thickness, but, but, its much easier to get shipping containers. get 2 of them that are "de-militarized" and use them at your BOL. one can be used for food and supply storage, the other as your sleeping quarters. you would be surprised how easy it would be to get one, and how cheap they are. the other would be some old semi trailers. again get one that are non-road worthy and use them to set up shop!

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hope you have your tetanus shot

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