Don't Turn Your Nose Up At Me!: New Snub Nose Monkey Discovered, Soon To Be Extinct

Seen here looking like the unholy lovechild of Michael and Bubbles, scientists recently discovered a new species of monkey hiding out in the forests of Burma. Wow, that's a face not even a mother could love. Or -- OR -- be faulted for abandoning by a log. No wonder they're almost extinct already.

But with only an estimated 260 to 330 individuals alive, Rhinopithecus strykeri is already critically endangered, the discoverers report online today in the American Journal of Primatology. Locals call the creature "mey nwoah" or "myuk na tok te," meaning "monkey with an upturned nose." Popular legend says the monkeys' uplifted nostrils make them sneeze when it rains, so they endure downpours by tucking their heads between their knees.

The animals are so rare that primatologists have yet to glimpse one alive. Instead, they relied on information from hunters and carcasses to estimate their numbers and create the image above using Photoshop. Although not a key game species, the monkeys often get caught in bear traps, and the influx of Chinese logging companies is further jeopardizing their habitat, the researchers say.

Wow, that second paragraph got real sad, real quick, didn't it? It sure did.

ScienceShot: Newest Monkey Species Allergic to Rain? [sciencemag]

Thanks to Shenanigans and John, who agree they should all be forced to wear fake honkers like the Proboscis does.

• Giant Mystery Eyeball Washes Up On Florida Beach

  October 12, 2012

  RETROACTIVE WARNING: Giant mystery eyeball. Also, potential Slimer tattoo. A man in Florida stumbled across this giant mysterious eyeball while metal-detecting for buried pirate treasure or whatever, and now scientists are hard at work trying to determine where it came from.... / Continue →
• Monkey With Creepy Face, Bright Blue Ass Discovered

  October 11, 2012

  This is Cercopithecus lomamiensis, a new species of monkey discovered in Africa (one of only two new species discovered in the past 26 years). It has a creepy, human-like face and a bright blue ass. Kind of like a Na'vi. There's a worthwhile shot of one's ass and balls after... / Continue →
• Oh Wonderful: Deer, Now With More Fangs

  November 18, 2010

  Musk deer aren't new. As a matter of fact, I heard Methuselah once killed one with a rock and presented your mother with the pelt while trying to woo her. Oh snap, your momma's oooooold! Just kidding, I'm sure she's a spry 'lil lady. Unless you don't like her, in which we s... / Continue →