In other sad transportation-related news (I swear this is the last one), an escaped crocodile on a plane caused a panic, ultimately resulting in the plane crashing and the deaths of 20 on board. One person survived. Unfortunately, it wasn't the jackass who smuggled the croc on in the first place, so we can't beat them to near-death with sticks, let them recover, and then do it again (and again). I know, I'm as upset about it as you are.
One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu [Democratic Republic of Congo].
"The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."
The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot", said the report.
The plane smashed into an empty house just a few hundred metres from its destination.
"The crocodile survived the crash before being cut up with a machete."
Okay so I'm officially never flying again. Or driving. Shoot, I might not even walk anymore. And I'm not just saying that because I'm fat and lazy, I'm saying that because I'm fat and lazy and don't want to die. "But GW -- what about weight-related illness?" Pfft -- TALK TO THE DONUT CAUSE THE GW AIN'T LISTENIN'!
Thanks to The Great Jordini, who once pulled a plane full of rabbits out of a giant hat.