Owner Of Segway Company (NOT Inventor) Dies After Riding Segway Off Cliff, Into River

Proving that you should never dip your pen in company ink, Jim Heselden died over the weekend after riding a Segway off a cliff and into a river. Jim had purchased the Segway company from inventor Dean Kamen last year. I suspect very foul play.

Police said a witness had reported seeing a man fall over a 30-foot drop into the river near Boston Spa, 140 miles north of London.

"Police were called at 11.40 a.m. yesterday to reports of a man in the River Wharfe, apparently having fallen from the cliffs above," a spokesman told The Daily Mail.

A Segway was recovered from the scene. "At this time we do not believe the death to be suspicious," the spokesman added.

Not suspicious?!?!? If you see your Segway's about to run off a cliff YOU JUMP OFF. No, I'm afraid there was definitely foul play involved here. Detective -- check the man's shoes for Super Glue. Nothing? Damn. And the handle bars? Well, I think it's pretty safe to say he was poisoned.

Rest in peace, Jim.

Segway company owner rides scooter off a cliff [msnbc]

Thanks to Missouri Matt, Alex, Texico Jones, 43 y/o undead warlock and comfort eagle, who are all smart enough to never use products made by the companies they work for.

• Sadness: First Man To Drive With Mind Controlled Bionic Arm Dies After Crash

  October 22, 2010

  Christian Kandlbauer, seen here, lost both arms after a jolt of 20,000 volts required both be amputated. Then, in 2006, he was fitted with a mind-controlled bionic arm (left, and regular prosthetic, right) and was able to pass his driving test with a specially modified vehicle... / Continue →
• I Smell A Drinking Game!: Game Of Thrones Pint Glasses

  July 20, 2012

  EDIT: Pint glasses, not shot glasses. Because there's absolutely nothing on the internet today but the heartbreaking story of a disturbed twenty-something who open fired on a theater full of Batman fans (my thoughts and prayers are with you, friends/family/Aurora community), h... / Continue →
• Lonesome No More: Lonesome George, The Last Galapagos Giant Tortoise Of His Kind, Has Passed Away

  June 26, 2012

  Seen here with Fausto Llerena, his caretaker of 40 years, Lonesome George, the last remaining Chelonoidis nigra abingdoni (Pinta Island Giant Tortoise, a subspecies of the Galapagos Tortoise), passed away on Sunday, June 24th. He was around 100. Scientists had expected him ... / Continue →