Sep 29 2010I Want One!: Iran's Fleet Of Flying Boats Equipped With Machine Guns, Missiles
Iran a mile in under six minutes once, I'm just sayin'. And I didn't need no flying boat with guns to do it either, just a handful of amphetamines. Kidding, I would have had a heart attack. And not the good kind where all your organs wear cowboy & Indian costumes and duke it out in your abdomen either, I'm talking about the kind that'll actually kill ya. And not with kindness -- with you clutching your chest begging, "oh shit Lord, please don't take me now!" Anyway, an Iranian flying boat with machine guns and possible missile attachments. "Solid lead-in, GW." Thanks homes, I thought so.
As for its criticisms, the Bavar 2 has been accused of being very "kit," as in it looks like a watercraft you could have ordered online and assembled yourself. Just do a Google image search for "hoverwing" and you'll see many craft like it.
There's also the big question of just how stealthy it is. Iranian officials claims that its hull makes it undetectable by radar, though videos of the thing flying show that it's pretty damn loud. The blue paint job probably works well enough -- the Bavar 2 doesn't fly high enough for its red underbelly to ever really factor in -- it really mostly skims above the water.
I don't care what they say, I want one. You just watch -- give it a year a two and all the modern pirates are gonna be rockin' blanes. Distract you with a couple loopty-loops and maybe some sky writing, and next thing you know, RAT-A-TAT-A-TAT-A-TAT -- you're under heavy fire. And heavy fire, as you might know, is fire with extra deuterium in it. Get it? That one was for all you chemists!
Video of the blanes in action after the jump.
Iran shows off machine-gun equipped flying boats [dvice]
Thanks to Joshua, who doesn't like mixing methods of transportation because he's a travel purist.
Reader Comments
1. Asperflux - September 29, 2010 6:35 PM
Long last the robots!
That thing is sweet
2. Dishy - September 29, 2010 6:39 PM
Long last the (flying) rowboats!
3. ploitu - September 29, 2010 6:42 PM
Is it me or it really look like the tiny bronco in FF7??
4. e - September 29, 2010 6:47 PM
that's cool but I think they would probably get shot down quickly.
5. DickySimms - September 29, 2010 6:59 PM
Thos look like some pretty ghetto amphibian planes. The propellor on top looks like it's powered by a lawn mower motor. I ca see how those would be useful against, say, a bike. Anything more armored than that and I think these may be a tad useless.
6. naas (TRO) - September 29, 2010 7:05 PM
zomg their fucking boats fly waaaaahhhhh!!!!
7. Richard McBeef - September 29, 2010 7:07 PM
depleted uranium is probably a better "heavy" fire joke
8. McFeely Smackup - September 29, 2010 7:10 PM
Oh those whaky Iranians.
If it wasn't for nuclear weapons and a batshit fucking crazy religion, they'd be cute as hell.
Popular Mechanics had plans on building these EXACT things like 20 years ago.
9. andy - September 29, 2010 7:15 PM
where u gonna hang the missiles....... oh well I guess its a step up from flying carpets
10. BigSean - September 29, 2010 7:16 PM
Hahaha! Easy targets! You can shoot em in the water, when they try and fly, you shoot 'em outta the sky. It's like Duck Hunt, without that annoying-ass dog!
11. GINORMAGANTUAN - September 29, 2010 7:39 PM
WOW, just WOW! LOL these turds would be so easy to shoot!!!!!!!!! I see no real use fr these things, this is hilarious, a squadron of what? man..... in all seriousness though, I could just picture a SEA WIZ just tearing into one of these tings before it even gets near anything! fuck the SEA WIZ! 50cal that mother fucker and BOOM!!!!! only cool thing about being out to sea is they let us shoot the 50 cal every now and then in the morning for shits and giggles! kinda lame though cuz they kinda just like throw a big box out there and we shoot the fuck out of it, makes me wish they had something cool like giant rubber ducks or soething to shoot at.
12. Jerome J Johnson - September 29, 2010 7:47 PM
@11 What the fuck are you talking about?
13. Richard McBeef - September 29, 2010 8:42 PM
@12 - he said something about motherfucker and a big box so i would think he's talking about your mom.
14. jaime - September 29, 2010 8:44 PM
how do you come up with those intros, man?
15. Corbijn - September 29, 2010 9:17 PM
I would love to see a flock of those go against one of those anti-missile guns. It would be like a firefight "god" mode on Halo. They should stuffed like pinatas and have a group of little kids scream "yeaaah!" when they pop.
16. Ed - September 29, 2010 9:39 PM
They're great for suicide missions. And also undetectable by radar my ass.
"DURKA DURKA MOHAMMED JIHAD"
17. naas (TRO) - September 29, 2010 9:51 PM
haaaaaaaaaaahaaaa big box & his mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...I got it
18. bryan - September 29, 2010 10:08 PM
mcfeely, actually its 30 years...
bastards copying old ass shit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osprey_Osprey_I
19. bryan - September 29, 2010 10:08 PM
mcfeely, actually its 30 years...
bastards copying old ass shit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osprey_Osprey_I
20. ObamaPacman.com - September 29, 2010 10:49 PM
Great for target practice. Basically sitting ducks against supersonic fighters.
21. jojodrum3 - September 29, 2010 10:53 PM
These are so WWII.
22. IRAN - September 29, 2010 11:24 PM
WELL. LOOK OUT FOR US AND OUR FLYING BOATS, WE FLY AROUND ON THE WATER AND SHIT.
23. ski - September 29, 2010 11:30 PM
there's really only one that was built; the rest were photoshopped ...
24. DH - September 29, 2010 11:33 PM
@14 I know it's like watching Family Guy sometimes. only funnier
25. Gabriel - September 30, 2010 12:01 AM
Try the Russian Ekranoplanes, now those were the real deal, missile launchers and everything!
26. Suicide plainer - September 30, 2010 1:58 AM
We’re coming for you . . . ooo sh@t WTF IS THAT A F16 ?!?!?! COMON IM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE TARGET YET missile lock SHUT UP YOU AMERICAN BUILT PIECE OF ….BOOOM…….
27. BTW (FIRST) - September 30, 2010 2:12 AM
SOOOO . . . how do you suppose gw feels about robotic dinosaurs? I think that is how they will kill him. Those metallic f#kkers. well we’ll miss you gw just like my dog . . . I shot him, his eyes were glowing in all the pictures I took of him (HES A ROBOT I TELL YOU A ROBOT ! ! ! !)
28. Pichu - September 30, 2010 2:25 AM
Like a G6
29. Peter Pedro - September 30, 2010 3:05 AM
Yeah, just keep wasting money, those things don't have maneuverability, they'll probably pass by their enemies and the freaking gun won't be able to turn around. Better invest in fast boats... Or not!
30. the turdmenator - September 30, 2010 3:19 AM
yip fistly radar will work on them and after they go down in a flaming ball of holly shit I just died. sonar will work on them.
31. Leonidas - September 30, 2010 5:21 AM
mcfeely, actually its 30 years...
bastards copying old ass shit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osprey_Osprey_I
32. Nick - September 30, 2010 7:03 AM
C'mon Gee Dubya you messed up the first punch line. It should be "Iran a mile in under six minutes once, I'm just Saiyan."
33. NVG - September 30, 2010 7:05 AM
Just imagine these against a Predator drone.
34. Mancuso - September 30, 2010 8:40 AM
I'm trying... I'm really trying not to look at these through Western goggles, but come ON! I mean, WTF are those, flying coffee grinders?
Slower than a tricycle and noisy as shit... I must say, this vid just took one huge nuke scare off my shoulders.
If THIS is what Iran has to brag about, we're good.
...unless that's what they want us to BELIEVE.
(Damn you, Paranoia!)
35. mobedda - September 30, 2010 9:01 AM
fail navy is faily
36. whacko - September 30, 2010 9:14 AM
Can't carry as much armament as a small gunboat or fly as high as any normal airplane. Man I hope Iran replaces their entire airforce/navy with these just in case we have to go to war with them.
37. friendlystoner - September 30, 2010 9:26 AM
so thankful i`ve got a BB gun otherwise these things would be really intimidating.
38. =P - September 30, 2010 12:30 PM
Agree w/ 36. Interesting anti-radar color pattern? There's a reason why target drones are painted in high viability colors?
39. GINORMAGANTUAN - September 30, 2010 12:43 PM
like I said SEA WIZ we have those on navy ships and yes we shoot big ass boxes every now and then in the morning, and it's not pretty! one of these things would make a nice target. Look it up it'sone of them gun thingies that looks like R2D2, and it shoots the fuck outta ANYTHING very accurately, shit even some random seaman with a 50 cal would fuck this thing up.
40. JFreezy - September 30, 2010 12:53 PM
If I were an Iranian, I would be so embarrassed! I mean, look at their production facility! I've been in Costco warehouses bigger than that!!
41. urmomma - September 30, 2010 1:57 PM
Kane is really stepping up his game. Got to mine more Tiberium to stay ahead of them.
42. clamhammer - September 30, 2010 3:48 PM
listen to the seaman...... he's official apparently
43. the loo - September 30, 2010 4:52 PM
lol at @9 andy, though I'd call it a step down.
44. Billo - September 30, 2010 5:15 PM
Well, looks like the terrorists are winning the war on who has cooler stuff.
45. crash and burn - October 1, 2010 1:41 AM
Kamikaze sailors
46. acougara - October 1, 2010 7:44 AM
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47. KILL ACCOUGARA NOW - October 1, 2010 9:00 AM
@46 just shows how effing stupid robot programs are they posted it everywhere lets boycott them and nobody goes there ever efing bastards ... .. ..oooooohhhh I hate them
48. CW - October 1, 2010 1:09 PM
Quick, someone call G.I.Joe, COBRA is attacking!
49. Chris - October 1, 2010 3:10 PM
@40 Congratulations on overlooking the obvious, much like others around here. I mean, *think*, people! Yes, individually they're utter crap against anything modern. But...from the looks of them, they're kitbashes--insanely cheap to produce in mass quantities, and as JFreezy says, it looks like it takes a fairly tiny space to assemble them compared to Western manufacturing facilities. Now imagine these things deployed in swarms, counting on overwhelming numbers rather than overwhelming technology. And then do a little research on some of the tactics Japan used against the US back in WWII...
50. hal009 - October 16, 2010 11:11 PM
one drone will take out about 5 each-cost? how about investing in higherr education Iran-on, what? your god won't allow it? lol
51. pctomm - October 19, 2010 7:13 AM
@chris:
By that thinking, if Canada mas produces 100,000 canoes they'll swarm over the US Navy?
These things are retarded looking kit planes. Absolutely useless for modern war. What do you mean about Japanese tactics? Japanese tactics involved getting shot out of the sky by superior U.S. aircraft, they had their navy sent to the bottom of the ocean by U.S. submarines, their empire was smashed by U.S. marines, and finished off with nukes.
I don't see much there.
52. JR - October 21, 2010 7:12 AM
he said seamen....someone in the Navy talking about Seamen?...more like Semen....and that's from the Marine that pumped him in the "head"