Sep 30 2010Hotel's Curvature Causes 'Deathray' Effect

deathray-1.jpg

If you haven't heard already, Las Vegas is a dangerous place. And not just because you can lose your life savings and contract something from a prosty in the same weekend, but that shit happened to a couple of my friends and now I won't drink after them. Except alcohol. That stuff kills everything. Most importantly, the pain.

A totally unforeseen and unpredictable consequence of building a 57-foot curved mirror in the desert, the Vdara Death Ray is the affectionate nickname given to a phenomenon that's been plaguing poolside loungers staying at the hotel / spa. Among the victims is one Bill Pintas, whose tale of woe was recently printed in the Las Vegas Review-Journal:


[A]fter a brief dip in the hotel pool, he was sunning on a recliner. He was on his stomach, relaxed, eyes closed. But suddenly, the lawyer became so uncomfortably hot that he leaped up to move. He tried to put on his flip-flop sandals but, inexplicably, they were too hot to touch. So he ran barefoot to the shade. "I was effectively being cooked," Pintas said. "I started running as fast as I could without looking like a lunatic." Then he smelled an odor, and realized it was coming from his head, where a bit of hair had been scorched.

Hoho, looks like money isn't the only thing burning in Vegas! Get it? Because goofus there scorched his domepiece. Now, here's what you do: put the hotel on casters so you can spin it around and burn all nearby hotels to the ground. BOOM -- monopoly. Which is exactly why the second Death Star was built. The Empire was tired of those Ewoks stealing all their tourist dollars!

Hit the jump for a diagram of the hotel explaining the deathray phenomenon in case you're better with pictures than words (aren't we all).

deathray-2.jpg

Vdara hotel 'death ray' claiming victims in the Las Vegas Strip [engadget]

Thanks to Blaqk Panda, Samuel and Daniel "whose chins are so long they stage lightsaber duels with them", ultrapony, Take Your Vitamins, Jessie, Mel and dirk, who know everything there is to know about tourism, including, and not just limited to: topless taxi service is the future. You watch.

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Reader Comments

first!

Almost First!

i tried

VADAR deathray... it's a type-o

God damn firstwats keep failing everyday, everytime

"totally unforeseen and unpredictable consequence ". Yes. Unless you have an engineering degree, understand basic physics, or passed 3rd grade geometry.
Oh, I see what they're saying now....

"A totally unforeseen and unpredictable consequence..."

Except the designers foresaw it and predicted that it would be a problem, so they actually coated the southern windows with a film that evenly scatters the sunlight.

But, other than that... yeah, totally unforeseen and unpredictable.

Woah, cool! I bet they built it that way on purpose. And this totally has something to do with Star Wars.

Archimedes would be so proud. Someone finally made his death ray and didn't even realize they were doing it lol.

Looks like it's by the same designer as the Deathstar and an Anagram of Vadar. Any input dear Watson?

The sun shoots ketchup?

On night's stay at the Vdara= $129.
Watching a woman's bikini burst into flames while she runs around the pool nude=PRICELESS!

one fail of many.... same thing happened with the disney concert hall. scorched a coffee shop across the street. i blame modern scientists. we are all their lab rats

This just makes me want to stay there even more... and maybe super-glue a few quarters to the ground where it will cook people trying to pick them up.
"Welcome to my web", said the spider to the fly. Muahahahaha

just like burning ants with a magnifying glass *waits for PETA to come torch my house for my comment*

It is a bit amusing that the nama Vdara is an anagram for Vadar, and it's a giant moon sized hotel with its own deathray.

that's just fucking awesome, and it's totally star wars related.

Damn now I want to play Fallout Vegas

nope

Are you drinking yet GW?
I'm drinking.
START DRINKING!

I stayed there a few months ago...wish I had gone swimming and got burned...and won a huge settlement....sigh

It's not a flaw it's a feature! Where else can you get a tan that fast!?
lol

and this guy was like " OMG GLOBAL WARMING THEY THEY WERE EFFING RIGHT" or or "JESUS IS COMING I KNOW BECUASE SATIN IS LIGHTING COALS ON MY BACK" whilest runneing around like an effing moron

we will strike when you lease expect it broken ipod yes we will right after screwing this dog oh wait wwait you miss understand me I meant . . . ah shit no way out of this one BTW GW you will never screw a real donosaur we keep em alll to our selves you bakon eating sob (keep a piece for me

I'm surprised no one has commented that the ONLY person to experience this phenomenon is a blood sucking lawyer.

hey that just reminded me does that make edward a lawyer ?

This is awesome, and has no officially become the worlds most brutal and kickass hotel. I must sleep here.

Slowpoke is slow. Foxnews carried this LAST WEEK.

Love the scientific diagram

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@46 just shows how effing stupid robot programs are they posted it everywhere lets boycott them and nobody goes there ever efing bastards ... .. ..oooooohhhh I hate them

@10 LOLOL

Well if there's one thing about Vegas that always hold true, it's the fact that someone will always want to build something that one-ups the competition.

So be on the lookout for construction to begin on Magnify - this hotel will be in the shape of a giant magnifying glass and will be able to completely burn people to a crisp before they even reach the pool (which, should they somehow make it, will be full of boiling water to further enhance their burning experience).

Both of these hotels will become obsolete once construction on Magma is complete though. This hotel will boast a central core of burning lava that will be piped directly into each guest's hotel room in order to completely melt them without the hassle of them even having to step outside.

What dies in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Just sayin...

...
BURN!

@26, Slowpoke is water/psychic, Foxnews is normal, Read: they're fucking useless

@8 Fuck Archimedes.. Tesla would be proud!

OK, that was uncalled for, but Tesla is cooler.

My friend suggested me to visit your blog. Very well explained. I would like to say that it is very interesting to read your blog.

0_o

Woo hoo ! 37th ! ... now thats a number !!

Its kind of hella bright when I'm not my way to work in the mornings as well. Vegas... what a wonderful place to be.

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