Just Keep Her, Please!: Fat Princess IRL

Note: Uncensored picture is after the jump but cannot be unseen and will almost certainly pop into your head the next time you're trying to perform for a lady. You have been warned.

I don't know how many of you have played Fat Princess for the PS3 but it's kind of addictive in a "I just got home drunk and can't play anything too complicated" sort of way. And this is what it would look like in real life: Sir Eat-A-Lot brandishing a not-so-broad sword to protect his princess, who, from the looks of things, has burst from her clothes like a potato in the microwave. God, please tell me there are poster prints available.

Hit the jump and say goodbye to vision.

Classy Portrait [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Colin, who was convinced that was me for a second. Dude -- I rock a battle axe.

• Don't Even Act Like You're Not Into This

  January 22, 2010

  You are SOOO into this. And so am I. IMPALE ME! Youtube (with a whole bunch more!) Thanks to Uncle_FUJ, who's burning his grandmother's wardrobe even as we speak. Smart thinking.... / Continue →
• Ah Yes, The Old 'Create Art By Having Sex On Canvas' Kit

  November 14, 2012

  This is a 'Love is Art' kit. It comes with a canvas and a bottle of paint. You just douse you and your lover (or in your case just you) with the body paint, then go at it like animals atop the canvas. When you're done, ART IS BORN (and possibly a baby nine months later). As... / Continue →
• I Smell A New Cologne!: Nasal Spray That Increases Women's Arousal Ready For Clinical Testing

  November 5, 2012

  In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 women agreed, I'm not attractive. The other woman was my mom. Enter Tefina, a new drug that may increase a woman's libido and which I will probably utilize to develop a new cologne that makes me irresistible to the ladies (and hopefully not wol... / Continue →