Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

September 12, 2010 - September 18, 2010 Archives

  • September 17, 2010
    Note: There are 156 new species. Obviously, this isn't all of them. Hit the jump to see the entire graphic. Plus bonus video! As many of you probably know, I'm not allowed to play Pokemons anymore on account of them making me worship earth spirits and set my grandparents' h... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    That way if you're about to crash you can just jump off and blade to safety. Pretty genius if if you think about it. Just don't think about it for too long or you might start doubting the logic. And when you start doubting logic my friend, magic happens. CUT HER IN HALF -- ... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    Han Ziwen, seen here being carried out of the Beijing Apple store like he just won the big game, was officially the first person in China to purchase an iPad. And, in case you can't read between the shoulder straps, his shirt reads, "I BUY IPAD #1". Mine? "Fruit Freak". Not... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    First of all, whoever started calling this thing a unicorn obviously failed Mythical Creatures 101 because, and I'm sure you know this, UNICORNS HAVE A UNI-CORN. This, if anything, is a duocorn, which are far less rare (I've even seen them dead on the side of the road). One... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    I push my pants and underwear down to my ankles before makin' it rain because that's how I roll: oldschool. Awh yeah, it's like I'm four all over again! Ooooor never grew up. Yes I still drink out of pouches! Back me up, kangaroo. Haha, did you folks know there are nipples... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    Another day, another deathbot. I didn't realize just how quickly humanoid robot technology was progressing until I watched the video of HRP4 here in action. I found it frightening to say the least. I found a turd in the back of my pants to probably say too much. The HRP4 is... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    Always knocking you coffee cup over? It's because you're clumsy. Me? I only do it because I've been drinking. Does that make me better than you? No, but it does make my boss ask to smell my breath a lot. F***, I thought I had another pack of Orbit Sweet Mint aside, spill n... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    Want a wedding band created using the same 'mokume gane' technique as authentic samurai swords? You're in luck! But also out of luck because you're getting married. There's only one way out of this: I'm gonna have to cut your ring finger off. Ready? HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-Y... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2010
    Note: Full-size version HERE. Because it's Friday and Friday's were made for drinking (don't think your good work's gone unnoticed, God -- I appreciate these things), here's a chart of all the varieties of beer with brand examples of each. The chart's available as a 24" x 18"... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    This is a sink that uses water from a fishbowl to wash your hands. If you drain too much, you kill the fish. HA -- LIKE ANY OF YOU WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER USING THE BATHROOM ANYWAYS! I'm serious ladies, most guys are disgusting. If you did a survey of what percentage of men w... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    And that, my friends, is where sliders come from. A minuscule cow with a taste for contemporary music has been named the world's smallest by the Guinness World Records book. Guinness says the sheep-sized bovine from the West Yorkshire region of northern England measures roug... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    For those of you who haven't noticed, Geekologie is getting flagged as a reported malware attack site. Obviously, we'd never do that to you. Some bad third-party ad (dammit Google, don't you check those things?!) snuck in last night but was caught and removed immediately (rea... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    Note: Video after the jump is probably NSFW due to a topless A-cup getting a shirt sprayed on. Wow, we really are living in the future, aren't we? HELL NO WE'RE NOT -- look outside, you see any hovercars?! Exactly. The prosecution naps. But on the bright side, washable, re... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    There are two kinds of desserts in this world: those that glow, and those that taste like ass. Thankfully, Hostess (I SAID I'LL SEAT MYSELF!) GloBalls glow. But not really, they're just bright-ass green and are the official prepacked fattening food snack of the Green Lantern.... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    Star Trek urns: niche product or the new standard in ash receptacles? I'm gonna go with niche product. BURN ME UP, SCOTTY. The $800 urns, from funeral products retailer Eternal Image, come with one of two inscriptions: "To boldly go" (pictured above) or "The voyage continues... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    This is a cat with "cat" spelled in on its side in different-colored fur. You know, maybe Adam didn't do such a bad job naming all the animals after all. Except for hippopotamus. He definitely dropped the ball on that one. Once somebody points it out, it is obvious - the wo... / Continue →
  • September 16, 2010
    Let's face it: the French love their wine (Me? I love other peoples'). And can you blame them? It's like bitter grape juice for adults. Plus -- PLUS -- and here's the real kicker -- it'll get you drunk. I vaguely remember one time I drank two bottles by myself and woke up ... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    The Dell Inspiron Duo: not only are it's initials D.I.D., its a netbook and tablet all in one thanks to a swivel screen. Technology! Ten dollars says I break it the fist week. Fist week? Foot month! Boy, did Dell show just off the craziest device on stage at Intel's IDF 20... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    "So let me get this straight -- everyone who graduates is guaranteed a job in the IT department? Sweet, where's my dorm? Oh, and I meant to ask earlier -- what's our mascot? The CTTC BSOD's, huh? I like it. GO BLUE SCREENS!" Blue Screen of Death at a Tech School [funnyor... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    And not just because you're grandma doesn't own a quadricycle, but it's probably best she not do any pedaling considering her crystalline hips and all. So, yeah, the BigDog Quadricycle: a bike that won't hesitate to tear your balls to shreds and ride over them if you ever get ... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    See-through metal, yo. What's next, opaque gas? "Whoa GW, you've got a mysterious brown aura about you. Also *choking* -- why's it smell like somebody died in here?" IT WAS THE DOG, I SWEAR! Stronger than glass, various military and commercial applications for this remarka... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    A southern California police department recently issued a public safety notice warning citizens to be on the lookout for any child-loving bears in the area. NOBODY GETS BETWEEN ME AND FREE CANDY! At one convention of IT enthusiasts the San Luis Obispo County Sheriff's Departm... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    This is an allegedly screener footage from a "dark and gritty" live-action Pokemon movie that surprisingly has a lot of guns in it. I have no idea if it's real or not, so I'm just gonna copy/paste the email sent to Shogungamer and let you decide for yourself. You're a big boy... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    Anybody seen my Power Glove? I can't perform without my Power Glove on. Whew, found it. Now -- I want you to pretend like I'm a game cartridge that won't play. Two more shots of the "wait -- where are you going?!" after the jump.... / Continue →
  • September 15, 2010
    As you probably know by now unless you live on Hoth and your internets are perpetually frozen, Adidas has a whole line of Star Wars themed apparel. The latest? Tauntaun-skin intimates. This Dark Side Imperials varsity jacket. Now I'm not saying I'd go steady with anyone in sc... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Youtube user Mat Graham went and remastered Ocarina of Time's 'Song of Storms' into a catchy-ass metal medley. NA NA NA, NA NA NA, NU NU NU NU NU NU NA!! Can you tell I'm headbanging right now? Because I am. Aaaaaaand I found the corner of the coffee table. Can you tell I'... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Jason Freeny, best known for his anatomical depictions of things you never would have guessed had guts and shit inside them, is back at it, and this time with sculpted models. 3-D baby -- it's all the rage right now! Back me up, Navi. WHOA WHOA WHOA -- get that ponytail out ... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Right -- first you take away the complimentary peanuts, and now my legroom? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! What we need are affordable jetpacks. Here's a harrowing image: the SkyRider design for new cheapo airplane seats. Clearly designed with cramming as many people as humanly possibl... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Seen here about to get all ninja turtle on your ass, Steve Jobs was allegedly stopped from boarding his private plane from Japan recently on account he was smuggling ninja stars. And you know what? I believe it. He may look like a toothpick but I bet that dude gets down with... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Note: Full-size flyer for the conference HERE. Reserve early for a free rosary! Galileo was a hack and the Catholic church knows it. Your "science" can't fool us you dead, dirty magician! Admit it -- admit you were wrong and the church was right! Me? I'm left. Dumbfounde... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    See? When it's zipped up it looks like a regular hand wave, but, after a partial zip-down, it becomes the traditional Vulcan salute. Plus -- BAM! -- sex-change, bow tie and glasses! And all for $40. Not even a back-alley surgeon will sew a wiener on for that cheap! And tha... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    No, despite what Apple may have convinced their minions, it's never been cool. ESPECIALLY NOT FOR F***ING CHICKEN WRAPS. But did that stop KFC? Hell finger-lickin' no! Strapped for cash but sick and tired of the same old cheap eats? Remix your value menu routine with KFC's ... / Continue →
  • September 14, 2010
    Geekologie Reader Justin Blinder (Aaaaah -- my eyes!) went and baked an augmented reality cake after realizing that, if he didn't augment reality, somebody was gonna have a pretty sad party. Recently being faced with the task of making (or buying) a decorative cake, I decided ... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    This is quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I'm not just saying that because I've yet to see a naked lady, but one time I was standing at the just the right spot when the door to the women's locker room opened and I saw this mammoth with massive dro... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    That's right folks: today, September 13th, marks the 25th anniversary of the release of Super Mario Bros. And the rest, as you well know, is history. Ooooor a shit-ton of sequels. For over two decades, Super Mario Bros. was the best-selling video game of all time, before bei... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    Note: I shrunk the image with a new shrink-ray I've been working on to keep my penis in check, click HERE to see the thing in its native resolution. This is a flowchart created by graphic designer Karen Kavett that's supposed to direct you to the Youtube channel that best fits... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    This is a song/music video entitled 'Geek and Gamer Girls' (another Katy Perry 'California Girls' parody) by Team Unicorn. I thought that one chick in the back right was Evangeline Lilly for the longest time aside, allegedly Team Unicorn is a group of real-life gamer girls whi... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    This is a pizza that looks like a mushroom cloud. No word on whether it set off the smoke detector, but my guess is yes provided they didn't take the batteries out to put in the Geiger counter. So, give it to me straight: if I eat the whole thing you think I'll gain any super... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    The Tracked Skateboard is the 125-lb lovechild of a tank and skateboard that shared a special night together while a Segway secretly filmed from the closet (hence the handlebars). You know, or it could have been made by BPG-WERKS for military applications if you're unimaginati... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    Because there's no such thing as a costume you can't sexify, here's Optimus Prime and Bumblebee in "Sexy Adult Costume" versions. Nice, but there better not be more than meets the eye under those dresses! Available in time for Halloween (thank God), $56 takes one home. The c... / Continue →
  • September 13, 2010
    Some dubious scientists at the University of California Berkeley have developed a touch-sensitive "skin" material that can be applied to robot exteriors SO THEY CAN FEEL THE PAIN WHILE I'M BEATING THEM MERCILESSLY. What's next, robots that cry during movies? Because I'm not a... / Continue →