Aug 27 2010Man Attempts Gas Theft From Church Van, Sets Himself, Van Ablaze

church-gas.jpg

Some moron decided it would be a good idea to attempt stealing holy gas from a church van. Only problem is, Jesus wasn't having it. BURN HEATHEN, BUUUUURN!

Blake King, 24, was reported in stable condition Wednesday in Vanderbilt University Hospital's Burn Center.


Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van on the lot of Abundant Faith Church, 1228 Lodge Ave. Something sparked, according to the police report, catching the van on fire and burning King.

The fire leaves the church without one of its two vans, which was supposed to help transport youth members to St. Louis this weekend.

Officers arrived and found King, who told them he was burned when he stopped at 1228 Lodge Ave. to help another man who was on fire.

Firefighters and fire investigators found a cordless drill next to the van.

LOLWUT -- cordless drilling a gas tank?!?! Let's say you somehow managed to not set your dumbass on fire, what were you gonna do when the gas started flowing? Catch it in your mouth and spit it into a bucket? Okay that's actually pretty good.

Police: Man caught self on fire trying to steal gas from church van [courierpress]

Thanks to Dakota, who tried electric drilling a dairy truck once and ended up with nothing but a milk mustache. I'm not gonna lie, you look handsome.

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Reader Comments

This is my last post for the week guys. Going on a music & beer festival in Toronto. Any Torontofags who recognize me, give me a shout...I'll give you a blowjob.

Owned

FIRST......MORNING.....WHAT A DUMBASS

This is my last post for the week guys. Going on a music & beer festival in Toronto. Any Torontofags who recognize me, give me a shout...I'll give you a blowjob.

DAMN...NO FIRST.......OH WELL ITS FRIDAY

Cordless drill? Dude, you would have been better off just trying to siphon it out with a hose and your mouth like the rest of us do.

no more for the week? Meaning till next friday? Or till Monday, I suppose I could live till Monday, but Friday? NOOOO!

L2Siphon 'nuff said.

@7 I would rape you like a Theropedic dinosaur

Long live the robots!

There is no 'music & beer festival' in Toronto this weekend. You think GW would inform people in the comments section? NO, he would do in the form of a post like always.

Blake King? More like Blaze King amirite?

The festival is being held at my relatives house. I ran out of posts earlier.

This is my last post for the week guys. Going on a music & beer festival in Toronto. Any Torontofags who recognize me, give me a shout...I'll give you a blowjob.

@13 I'm going to cash that blowjob asap!!!

This is my last post as an asshole. sorry guys. GW you're the best!

@1,4,9,12,13,15 I hope Tom Hanks rapes you in your sleep...or somethin'

"Evansville police report King was burned as he was using a cordless drill to drill into the gas tank of a 2001 Chevrolet van"

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! LMAO!!!!!

By the way, what started the fire?

See what I did there?

My church's van got its lines slashed. I found out about it when I pumping gas and it went spewing out the line. Apparently it's a pretty common thing for church vans.

Meth is one BURNING HELL of a drug.

So....Blake King was Baking.
Amirite?

dude are you guys all retarded im baked out of my mind and even i understand the drill was to drill out the lock on the tank colver so he COULD syphon it..... most of you are insuniuating by some miracle of nature the hatches on the gas doors are just unlocked and open and you can walk up and take as much gas as you want

Poor guy, he was just trying to help a guy that was on fire down the road. The guilty need to come up with better more likely stories.

its funny because they make syphon pumps for $10 that hook up to cordless drills, just drop the hose in that special little hole you use to fill up and viola.

@16 Tom Hanks says hates fags for Tom Hanks.. Tom Hanks says get Tom Hanks' Name out your mouth fag.

@21, apparently you are "baked". The point is that drilling into metal with a metal bit rotating at high speed may just cause a spark. Furthermore, drills have electric motors which also can spark.

Maybe you're not baked enough. I tell you what, stick a fork in yourself, if it comes out clean then you're done. If not you need more bake time.

lol

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