Jul 23 2010Vading Don't Pay Like It Used To: Masked & Caped Darth Vader Robs Long Island Bank
Following a string of Galactic lay-offs, Darth Vader was spotted robbing a bank on Long Island yesterday. But, instead of Force-chokes and a lightsaber, the Vade was rocking a pistol. Not kosher, Darth.
A customer started to battle Vader inside the bank.
Det. Sgt. William Lamb of the Suffolk County Police Department says, "They got into a bit of a physical altercation. No one was hurt."The Darth Vader thief, described as between 6 feet and 6 feet 2 inches tall, then took off running. In addition to the mask and cape, he was also wearing camouflage pants.
He headed east through the bank's parking lot and then jumped on a bicycle and took off.
Witnesses say his cape was waving behind him as he ran.
A witness said, "I thought it was just a joke but I guess he was serious."
Police have not said if Luke Skywalker has offered to help track "Vader" down.
ROFL @ Luke Skywalker helping. That's some journalistic integrity after my own heart right there. Also, who else knew Vader rode a bicycle? Because I heard he got his license revoked after crashing a speeder bike into a group of Ewoks while all f***ed up on glitterstim. Two words: Celebrity. Rehab.
Crappy news report after the jump.
'Darth Vader' Robs Bank on Long Island [myfoxny]
Thanks to Anthony, Ben, Steven, Jordan, Masami, Galice, Apoorv, VCobra, Matty511, Christoph, Chuck Nunchuck,Lulu and Zaphod Beeblebrox, who would have lightsabered both his arms off and tossed him in the Bantha pit.
Reader Comments
1. Sean - July 23, 2010 10:45 AM
I wonder if the bike had a bell!
2. Lyndon - July 23, 2010 10:45 AM
LOL
3. JJtoob - July 23, 2010 10:46 AM
Bank security have to Chase after him? Ironic? I think so.
4. TheLepper - July 23, 2010 10:49 AM
LMAO! ahahah this is just epic.
5. poop - July 23, 2010 10:50 AM
Dear new G DUBB,
please die and go to hell because you are a waste of my time.
And f u ck all you people who respond to this comment.
6. That Guy - July 23, 2010 11:07 AM
@5
Hi
7. r k - July 23, 2010 11:08 AM
I would have been laughing so hard there is no way I could have given chase.
8. Asperflux - July 23, 2010 11:09 AM
Long last the robots!
9. Zaphod Beeblebrox - July 23, 2010 11:11 AM
I wonder if the robber spoke like Vader.
10. mr spacer - July 23, 2010 11:18 AM
there's no way he could see in that mask. Especially run away and ride a bike. The force is strong with this one.
11. yames - July 23, 2010 11:36 AM
It's Half-Cat!
12. the_farmer - July 23, 2010 11:46 AM
Did anyone catch that "Officer Lamb" works in "Suffolk County"? lol
13. anotherdae - July 23, 2010 11:48 AM
Not that I believe GW was replaced. But maybe it was the robots, they finally got to him because of all the anti robot stuff. He's been replaced ghost in the machine...
14. Ocelot - July 23, 2010 12:39 PM
OMFG LOL! Vader Fail! The camo pants comment made me LOL. Also the Luke Skywalker statement. That's quality journalism!
15. Tennist0 - July 23, 2010 12:47 PM
Yet another reason I love living on Long Island <3
16. CrispLettuce - July 23, 2010 1:00 PM
Vader stole my bike!
17. bentup85 - July 23, 2010 1:21 PM
Darth should of used a lightsaber they're "Not as clumsy or random as a blaster(or a pistol); an elegant weapon for a more civilized age".
18. Gir - July 23, 2010 1:29 PM
Kinda reminds me of this Geekologie article way back. Star Knight!!!
http://www.geekologie.com/2010/04/not_so_super_chinese_superhero.php
19. bentup85 - July 23, 2010 1:29 PM
"I just fels a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of dollars were all stolen at once!"
anyone got any more quotes for this?
20. bentup85 - July 23, 2010 1:30 PM
"I just felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of dollars were all stolen at once!"
anyone got any more quotes for this?
21. Shelbon - July 23, 2010 1:51 PM
That's no bank, it's a space station!
22. Shelbon - July 23, 2010 1:52 PM
"you're over confidence is you're weakness." "You're faith in your Vader costume is yours!"
23. joeproblem - July 23, 2010 2:14 PM
@poop So yeah, seems like there is a new GW but hey the poor guy is trying at least, and shitting on every post won't make him stop, it just makes you look like a moron who dosen't realize his own petty comments go no further then the people who are willing to respond to them. LIKE ME! Hooray!
24. Shelbon - July 23, 2010 2:48 PM
@25 Perhaps you've never heard of a Troll before. Or if you have, perhaps you haven't quite figured out how to deal with them me thinks.
25. Storm - July 23, 2010 2:57 PM
This guy is epic XD
26. morelolz - July 23, 2010 3:01 PM
well now we know how he got to pay for the down payment for the death star.
27. Bureaucrat #9 - July 23, 2010 3:14 PM
All too easy
28. Ed - July 23, 2010 7:15 PM
They forgot to mention that you could hear "Vader's" brass balls clanking together as he ran away.
29. buttons - July 23, 2010 11:34 PM
Man, Chad's really fallen on hard times
30. wmc - July 24, 2010 12:45 AM
That glitterstim is a hard habit to kick. He really needed the money for his fix.
31. luke gibson - July 24, 2010 7:21 AM
damn it i should of looked further down the page!
32. Meh - July 24, 2010 5:30 PM
I guess the empire has hit hard times too.
33. Dandy - July 25, 2010 5:36 AM
Video link is fail
34. tarantula666 - July 25, 2010 9:38 AM
expect more, deathstars don't come cheap.
35. darth paid her (to have sex with him) - July 25, 2010 5:51 PM
i'd just give him all of the fucking money for having the balls to do that.
36. Sevrin - July 25, 2010 6:17 PM
Maybe he just wanted to refill the ATM attached to the front of his suit.
NO MORE DARK SIDE WITHDRAWALS! YOUR LIMIT HAS BEEN REACHED!