Jul 19 2010Sexy Time!: Stripper Poles For The Elderly

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Is there anything sexier than a grandma strip-dancin'? Yes, every single thing in the world including being compacted to death in the back of a garbage truck. But for the six of you out there that are into crimes against nature, there's the $115 Cushion-Grip Security Pole Mobility Aid. How about a review?

The user needs this device to assist in getting in and out of bed safely. It has a nice cushion grip, is attractive, and easy to install. It is not as sturdy as I would have hoped it would be. It wiggles a bit in the middle and that makes me a bit nervous.

But I like a little wiggle in the middle! No, no I don't either. I like zero wiggles. Still, you've got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh.

Product Site

Thanks to Eric-tile, who may or may not volunteer at a nursing home.

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Reader Comments

If I had the best job in the world I wouldn't take weekends off GW. Just sayin'

All creepy, scream yourself awake at night thoughts aside, I might actually get this for my grandmother. It'd save my grandfather from having to help her all the time.

Drop it like its hot!! uhoh granny forgot to take her pants off when she was taking a shit!.... its YOUR turn to clean her up!

1 post after 2 days off? hmmm.....

GW WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ITS BEEN LIKE THREE DAYS AND I CAN'T LIVE EVERY DAY WITHOUT READING YOUR LOLS

On a more on topic note, this is creepy and awesome.

OMG M8! THATS JUST WRONG!

@ all you guys bitching about GW chillaxing for a bit longer than usual - seriously, go out and get some fresh air or something.
Now please excuse me, all this granny pole dancing shenanigans has made me nauscious

Moar wiggles tha better!

"Still, you've got to admit the thought of a grandma seductively gyrating her sloopy ass off the shitter does get you hot and bothered. No? Just cold and throwy uppy? Oh."

<3 you GW.

@7
Totally agree.

You demanding dicks, do you expect him to post every fucking day without a break?

If you don't like the way this is run the fuck off and start your own fucking blog, then you'll see how demanding it is to post shit for whining ungrateful twats every day.

Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site [A_g_e_m_i_n_g_le @ c.//o.//m]---a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends

@1: Absolutely

A whole weekend and nothing new makes my monday morning suck. Even the stuff GW posted lately isn't anything great. Dig deeper GW or time to find a different site for Geek news.

#34 wins an entire fucking internet.

AM I 34? DID I WIN???

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

I'm hungry. I have a late lunch. Fmy day. (and life) I hate everything. Thanks for reading.

GW we miss you man. nice to see you posting again... or is this a zombie poster. OMGawd!

the pole is just weird... goodtime for grandpa. lol

okay okay this is going to be disgusting but my god the vision (I love me a GMilf)
So Mema pulls herself out of her rocker looking over with her cataract laden eyes licks her lips and begins to awkwardly gyrate her hips.... okay yea im just threw up a bit, i just dont think mema is going to be dancing on that thing, more likely to turn it into a Cat scratch post or something.

Very usefull if sturdy and easily movable. a decent invention to assist anyone who needs it.

Yay! Yay! He's back and he's nasty !

With all the due respect Sir, pole dancing != strip teasing.

GILFs for the win!

Seems useful for getting up from places, and on freaky friday nights at the home.

I have yet another late lunch. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 10 captions:
1)      “In other news from the Golden Acres Living Facility, the entertainment night, while discrete, was a big hit.”

2)      “What’s the difference between the Standard and Economy Vegas packages?”

3)      “Tell your mom that some Facebook pictures are not to be shared.”

4)      “The next time you organize a bachelor party, don’t ask for a Senior Discount.”

5)      “I’ll say it again, your grandpa is the luckiest guy on the block. He’s got a keeper.”

6)      “Washington State University has released a new Cougar Moms mascot, to mixed reviews.”

7)      “That explains the disco ball by the TV set.”

8)      “You said Mrs. Claus practically lives at the North Pole?”

9)      “Charades with your mom are always… memorable.”

10)   “I said you should take up ballroom dancing.”

you fucking slay me GW. LOL

I wonder how many people brought their girlfriends this as a replacement stripper pole

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