In the best news I've heard since screwing dinos helps prevent wrinkles, drinking alcohol may help battle rheumatoid arthritis. Did you hear that, gramps? I said, "TAKE ME TO THE LIQUOR STORE!"
Moderate drinking has been linked to a variety of health benefits, including a reduced risk of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. According to a new study, drinking alcohol may also ease the pain of -- and lower the risk of developing -- rheumatoid arthritis, a potentially crippling autoimmune disorder.
People who don't drink alcohol are roughly four times more likely to have rheumatoid arthritis than people who have at least one drink three or more days per week, the study found.
The researchers also found that rheumatoid arthritis patients who drink alcohol tend to have less severe symptoms than their nondrinking counterparts. And the more often they drink, the milder their symptoms are.
I didn't actually read any of that because I was too busy swerving pop-pop's Hover-Round down to the liquor store, but I assume it said something about the importance of drinking your booze with a crazy straw. IS THERE ANY OTHER WAY? One. Shotgunning the bottle.
Study: Alcohol may fight rheumatoid arthritis [cnn]
Thanks to Jim, who heard drinking also keeps you good looking provided everyone around you is shit-faced.
Sure you gain weight when you're pregnant, but you gotta work with me here. Also, the pregnancy thing wasn't actually proven in the study, it's just my own hypothesis. One that's 100% true. GW's Law of Knocking Up Drunk Womens.
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In a study that surprises nobody who's woken up still Tyrannosaurus Wrecked from the night before in a puddle of someone else's urine and eaten the breakfast of gods, scientists have discovered bacon really does cure a hangover.
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You can tell that kid's an exception and not the rule because the beer comes out the side on those lil' mini-kegs. And I must be the same because I was dumb as hell as a child but now I'm a hellaboozehound. RIDDLE ME THAT, "SCIENCE"! Blame life? That's what I've been doing!... / Continue →