July 25, 2010 - July 31, 2010 Archives
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So it's Saturday morning and I'm sitting in my car outside a hotel in downtown LA that just so happens to have an unsecured network. Saturday post! (Don't you ever say I don't love you) Seen here weeping like a little girl that just opened a unicorn on her birthday, 23-year ... / Continue →
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Note: Video is after the jump because this isn't a f***ing rave (unless you have some rolls, in which case let me grab my pacifier and turn on Winamp's visualizer). This is a video of several college freshman emptying 32 glowsticks into the back of a dorm toilet and then flush... / Continue →
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Here's what you do: 1) Buy an oval mirror, two shades of blue modeling paint, and some rubber cement. 2) Huff the shit out of the rubber cement, then try your best to 3) paint the rim of the mirror to look like a portal. D) Hang it on your bedroom wall and E) get a friend real... / Continue →
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Apparently this Hot Wheels Invisible Jet toy began life as an April Fools' joke but I don't remember hearing about it because I don't even know if I remembered to take my vitamins this morning. At any rate, it became a Comic-Con exclusive and suckers lined up to pay $5 for the... / Continue →
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That wasn't actually a joke. You get a zedonk. Half zebra, half ass, 100% honky-tonk-zedonk-a-donk. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave! Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap yo' gradma! A zedonk, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attentio... / Continue →
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Just follow one of these simple steps. Me? I'm going to find Mjolnir AND learn magic. You think that'll make me a super-superhero? Because I'm not against some government testing to get the job done. Am I, govt. boner pills? I'm still stiff! And I took them in '07. Note... / Continue →
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Panasonic decided to jazz up their packaging a little and is selling their new RP-HJE 130 earbuds in this cleverly designed box. As you can see, the earbuds are placed in the package in such a way that they look like a, uh, half-wheelchair with jet engine armrests? Yeah I don... / Continue →
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Camelflage panties are women's underwear with a piece of plastic (or something) sewn into the crotch that prevents the panties from forming a highly undesirable camel-toe (similar to the Cuchini). Wait -- those aren't cool anymore?! *untapes wiener from between buttcheeks* Pe... / Continue →
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This is a giant-ass spider web made entirely out of packing tape. Like, nothing else. No glue, no popsicle sticks, no rubber bands, just packing tape. Packing tape has gotten MacGyver out of many a jam, but he never managed to make an entire home out of the stuff. So he co... / Continue →
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Wonderful news: apparently my only remaining love in life might be slowly killing me. That's right -- box-springs may act as giant radiation-spewing antennas, filling our bodies with the nasty while we sleep. And all this from trying to figure out why breast cancer is 10% mor... / Continue →
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What you're looking at is a 125-piece puzzle block that, when disassembled and reassembled properly, becomes a .45-caliber firearm with all the accouterments, including laser sight (pics after the jump). Now transform and shoot out! *bang!* Oooor just blast yourself in the le... / Continue →
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So Porsche has decided to go forward and produce the Spyder 918 hybrid, which, up until now, was strictly conceptual. Did I mention it'll cost around $650,000? Because it will. Yeah, I just pre-ordered two. Didn't I, Hot Wheels? High rolla, HIGH ROLLA! A 3.4-liter V8 petr... / Continue →
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Like this: creating a special team of characters that spell out a cute message. Alternatively, grow a pair of Poké Balls and ask her out to her face. Huh? What do you mean I'm being too harsh?! A wild WHINER appears. GW uses STFU and stop crying or I'll beat you. It's su... / Continue →
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Why are there so many conceptual toasters? Are you folks really having trouble using the ones you have? I mean, not to brag or anything, but I can toast bread with over a 60% success rate. Did I mention I'm batting over 80% on cooking Ramen noodles? I know, I know, I'm a cu... / Continue →
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As many of you may know because you haven't slept since its release on Tuesday, Starcraft II was just released. And what better way to celebrate than a stop-motion LEGO homage to the original? I mean, besides just playing the new one. I'm picking up my copy tomorrow and plan... / Continue →
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Now I know what you're wondering, "Jesus, GW -- are you really posting this just so you don't have to bookmark the product page to find it again?" And yes, that is 110% why I'm posting this. That and I have a birthday coming up and I have yet to receive a single present. You... / Continue →
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In this wild world of ours everything can be divided into one of three categories: things that don't make sense, things that do make sense, and shit that's magic. And this is one of those magical joints: Chewbacca riding a giant squirrel fighting Nazis with his iconic Bowcaste... / Continue →
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Seen here using a remarkably small font for a 400-year old, Ivy Bean, the world's oldest Twitter user, has passed away. Her tweets, and old-lady aroma, will be missed. From the two-story care home where she lived in the northern English city of Bradford, 104-year-old Ivy Bean... / Continue →
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This is an amazingly well-shot music video of a flamethrower vs. fire extinguisher battle for the Dancing Pigeon's 'Ritalin'. God, I can't even count how many of those things I put up my nose in college. ZERO -- MY BODY IS A TEMPLE! Of doom. Back me up, Indiana. Anyway, th... / Continue →
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Fingernails: I have no idea why we have them. I do know women use them to accessorize and attract the opposite sex by painting them bright colors, but there's gotta be more to it than that, right? Because if that's their only purpose, why do men have them too? Riddle me tha... / Continue →
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Note: Picture is 100% related. Christopher Clancy (who may or may not have been conceived on the Red October) used six cans of gasoline to set his former high school ablaze and cause over $1.3 million in damages, all while rocking a sweet Joker costume and videotaping the act ... / Continue →
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There are good ideas and there are great ideas. This is a f***ing terrible one: taping a lawnmower to a stick, then using it to trim the hedges. Jesus -- WTF's the matter with you? How about you, oh I don't know -- STOP BEING SUCH A CHEAPASS AND BUY A FLAMETHROWER LIKE A NOR... / Continue →
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I knew ice cream could make your lips sticky, but did you know it can also make you amorous? It can, and not just if you're licking it off a stranger's balls with Magic Shell topping, although we've all been there and it does work. An ice cream which gets you in the mood for ... / Continue →
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Want to wear an iPad on your chest so it's obvious to everyone how cool what a sad, sad virgin (not by choice) you are? Introducing the Style iPad Shirt. Despite it's name, it's actually the opposite of style. Your ass will get kicked! This pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton tee... / Continue →
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In the best news I've heard since screwing dinos helps prevent wrinkles, drinking alcohol may help battle rheumatoid arthritis. Did you hear that, gramps? I said, "TAKE ME TO THE LIQUOR STORE!" Moderate drinking has been linked to a variety of health benefits, including a re... / Continue →
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This is a Batpod replica (not to be confused with this Batpod replica) spotted in the wild near Mountain View, California. But as you'll see in the other pics, it actually has Florida tags -- and you all know what that means: no helmet laws! You can smash your brain up all yo... / Continue →
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This is a series of ads designed by the Barcelona-based Grey Agency for Pilot's Extra-Fine tipped pens. In case you can't see straight because you drank from the cup clearly marked 'GW's Happy Juice', they all feature LEGO minifigs all tatted up. Unfortunately, it's entirely ... / Continue →
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I'm bein' for real yo! In case of catastrophic interweb meltdown, seven people across the globe have magical keys (possibly carved from witch's tits) that can reboot the tubes and restore porn to the masses. Well thank God! The plan was drawn up by the internet domain name w... / Continue →
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As a matter of fact yes, that is a picture of the GW command center. I can make calls, fax, print, copy, collate AND write Geekologie all from the comfort of my plush shitter. Did I mention I can relieve myself? Because I can do that too. I just have to be careful my unit i... / Continue →
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Brigham Young University, best known for being 98% Mormon and having a mediocre basketball team -- shit, I forgot where I was going with this. Anyway, a couple BYU students decided it would be the wildest thing they've ever done if they made a motorized couch. And it was. Th... / Continue →
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You thought they were made in a factory, didn't you? Well they kind of are. THE ALIEN PAIN FACTORY! That's right -- tetrominoes are actually Space Invader penises. Who knew? I mean besides me which is why I've always considered Tetris the most erotic Game Boy game. You he... / Continue →
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The Viking XL lift system is a real medical product designed by Liko to help lift people who can't lift themselves. It can support up to 660lbs and If I'm chuckling I assure you it's only because if I wasn't I'd be crying. And I'm not just saying that because Gilbert Grape us... / Continue →
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I think it's actually supposed to read, "concocting poopie", which makes a lot more sense because that's exactly what Nokia does. That said, my first cell phone was an old green-screen Nokia brick that I got a bright-ass yellow case for from a kiosk at the mall because I thoug... / Continue →
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This is a gallery of the cosplaying girls from this past weekend's San Diego Comic-Con. As you may or may not know, I was denied access to the convention this year for "being too drunk to stand" and telling security "my superpenis is my costume". Guilty as charged aside, Norm... / Continue →
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This is a picture of a kid who got busted smoking pot and watching pr0n. And because getting caught by your parents WHILE YOU'RE HIGH AND WITH YOUR WIENER IN YOUR HAND isn't bad enough, they made him make this sign and stand by the road. God, you poor bastard. Just be thankf... / Continue →
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The Portrait Projecting Ring was designed by Luke Jerram for his wife Shelina. It's a ring that can project the image from an interchangeable slide in the band when a light is shined through. Wow Luke, thanks for making the rest of us look like a bunch of unromantic asshats. ... / Continue →
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Fires: they burn houses down and ruin lives. But they also make fireworks work and pipes smoke. OH THE DICHOTOMY! But what's a fire department to do when they get a rush-hour call that a child has set a recycling bin full of his sister's Barbies ablaze and the fire has sprea... / Continue →
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Based on the emails I've received, there's been some concern lately as to whether I've died or been replaced. The answer is no. Sure I do die a little inside everyday, but I've been filling Geekologie with the finest malt-humor I can since August 2007. What I am doing is tak... / Continue →
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This is a video of a robot learning how to flip pancakes. Why? Because it dropped out of high school. Stay in school kids, you've got a long life ahead of you. That said, I'd kill you right now for a McGriddle. Shit -- I'd even stab you a couple times just to smell one. T... / Continue →
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You know what? If you say jet ejection ten times fast by the end it sounds like you're saying Janet Jackson. Now I want you all to try it and tell me I'm right. Pilot Capt. Brian Bews ejects as his a CF-18 fighter jet plummets to the ground during a practice flight at the ... / Continue →
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Have you ever eaten brains? I have not. But one time I did find a dead opossum in the street by my house and broke a rake handle trying to crack its skull open. Then my mom yelled at me for playing with a dead animal. Oh yeah? Well I kept my gerbil in a coat pocket for a m... / Continue →
