Thank God I'm Sterile: Happy Father's Day!

I swear, I don't know how you guys do it -- I can't even take care of myself. Just sayin', I almost burnt my entire apartment complex to the ground trying to boil hotdogs for lunch. What does that say about my potential parenting skills? Sharp as a tack, that's what. Kids love beans & weenies. So yeah, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Especially to you, dad (I'll call as soon as the fire department leaves).

Someecards

• Babyglow 'Sleep Suits' Indicate Temperature

  June 21, 2009

  Babyglow Sleep Suits are basically Hypercolor onesies for babies. If the baby's temperature passes 98.6°F (37°C), it turns white, indicating possible sickness. Also, if it's vomit covered, that could be a sign. Available this fall, a 3-pack will set you back $35. Alternati... / Continue →
• Women Don't Use The Bathroom!: Cafe In Austria Has A One-Way Mirror From Men's Room Into Women's Room

  October 30, 2012

  Because people are sick, Dots, an experimental sushi restaurant (WTF is an experimental sushi restaurant and does it involve mutants?) in Vienna, Austria has a one way mirror where men using the urinals can look into the sink area (not the actual stalls) of the women's room. W... / Continue →
• I Said No Cups On The Car!: Police Officer Takes Patrol Car To Strip Club Car Wash, Pictures Posted On Facebook, Officer Fired

  September 23, 2010

  Cups, get it? Like bras. Except the booboo looking strippers in the picture actually set beverage cups on the hood (which I wouldn't stand for). They don't call me hawk-eyes for nothing you know. Is that a Wendy's next door? A South Carolina police officer feared his cop c... / Continue →