Please Don't Rob Me: Burglary Kits For Sale
Always wanted to pull off a heist but wasn't sure what kind of equipment you'd need? Well fear not, somebody's soon-to-be-prison-girlfriend, now there are burglary kits for sale. Too bad I'm gonna steal one. Irony! For $200 you get everything seen here, marked up at least 200%. Just sayin', you could put together a better kit at Target for $80. Plus walk nonchalantly through the lingerie section. Thrice. But don't even THINK of putting your little burglary kit to use at my place. Because the only piece of equipment you'll need then is a get-well-soon card FOR WHEN I HAND YOUR ASS TO YOU. Just make sure to fill it out ahead of time (I'm gonna tear both your f***ing arms off and beat you with them is the thing).