May 26 2010OMG I Just Wanna Eat 'Em!: Fake Nipples
Because the fake nipple bra never take off back in the 70's, somebody's decided to create a modern, bra-less version: Body Perks nipple enhancers. YES I'M CHEWING ON A PAIR (they looked like dried apricots).
The natural look is back. Nipples are in. From your favourite magazines, to stars gracing the red carpet, women are showing off their breasts with pride. Body Perks nipple enhancers are the latest fashion accessory for your breasts, so take the lead from Sex and the City's Samantha and draw attention to your natural assets. For full effect, wear under a soft cup bra for enhanced, perky appeal.
The fake-ass nips are one-size-fits-all (I dunno, I've seen some big-ass nipples!), come in pink and mocha, and will set you back ~$14 a set (which technically should be three on Mars). Alternatively, do what I do and poke push pins through your milk-holes. What? Don't hate just cause yo jerky ain't perky!
Hit the jump for a side shot along with two others of what the WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU USED SUPERGLUE? actually look like.
Product Site
via
Fake Nipples Aim To Destroy You, Boys [gizmodo]
Related Stories
Hoarder!: Junky Computer Parts Coffee Table (04/06/2011)
Hair Of The Dog: A Canine Beer Saddle (03/15/2011)
Licensing Mistakes: Harry Potter Pancakes (03/10/2011)
Dating Site Matches Couples That Look Alike (03/07/2011)
Straight From The Witch's Tit: Breast Milk Ice Cream (02/25/2011)
Reader Comments
1. tyler - May 26, 2010 8:16 PM
17th
I <3 nips
2. Jelly - May 26, 2010 8:26 PM
o_o u can always just not wear a bra
3. plethr - May 26, 2010 8:37 PM
Welcome to two weeks ago.
4. Why did the robot eat all the egg salad? - May 26, 2010 8:39 PM
Why are they colored?
Are you gonna go around showing people your fake nipples?
5. Why did the robot eat all the egg salad? - May 26, 2010 8:40 PM
Why are they colored?
Are you gonna go around showing people your fake nipples?
6. Dishy - May 26, 2010 8:40 PM
Although primate girls will only want two nips, wolfy girls can wear 6 or 8 of 'em. Nothin sexier than ellipses ..... see, told ya.
7. Ashley - May 26, 2010 9:08 PM
Why are these nipples so big? Do women really want giant national geographic nipples? I certainly don't...
8. Nimi - May 26, 2010 9:08 PM
CRUD...7th.. O_O I will be first one day!
On a lighter note, I don't need fake nipples, my body generates its own.
9. Lmega5 - May 26, 2010 9:14 PM
where's daisy?
10. Todd - May 26, 2010 9:20 PM
I don't understand.....I was led to believe women already had nipples.
11. Your uncle - May 26, 2010 9:30 PM
My 8 year old niece's birthday is next week...
12. Catalyste - May 26, 2010 9:45 PM
Did GW just do a Total Recall reference!?
HAHA, nice!
As for those fake nipples....they look so wrong when you look at her from the side.
Think I'll pass.
13. bleh - May 26, 2010 10:00 PM
Why are they in dice bags?
Apparently some people don't have nipples so they need a prosthetic..like a hook or a peg leg
14. Ominous - May 26, 2010 10:05 PM
This is so wrong.
I can see this being useful for breast cancer patients as a cheep prosthetic but rest of the world....
15. POW - May 26, 2010 10:21 PM
I do like the puffy nipple look. However, I'll be very disappointed when I find out it was all a sham.
16. William.Nighthawk - May 26, 2010 10:34 PM
@8
I would love to see a side by side comparison.
17. Spoon - May 27, 2010 12:40 AM
I have a similar concept of those for my tight jean pants...
18. Nick Sydney - May 27, 2010 12:57 AM
is it just me or are the mocha ones bigger?
19. Laurenzio - May 27, 2010 1:45 AM
These have been available for years. Don't really see the appeal tbh.
20. asschilee - May 27, 2010 2:05 AM
Seriously though, these have been around for at LEAST 6 years. I dunno why they're all of a sudden becoming popular?
21. manboobs - May 27, 2010 3:09 AM
I'd buy couple of those.
22. poize - May 27, 2010 3:45 AM
@18
it's coz u know....they got them bigger....if u know what i mean :p
not being racist or anything, but u know....
23. Personal injury Houston - May 27, 2010 7:55 AM
I see that this is a useful breast cancer patients with prosthetic tweet, but the rest of the world .... Even if girls just want the first two IP Wolfy girls may use 6 or 8 of them. Nothing sexier than three points ..
24. lmiller867 - May 27, 2010 9:10 AM
Perfect for the Eccentrica Gallumbits costumes for Halloween. I also imagine it could be quite fun wearing fake nipples in odd places on your body. Back nipples anyone? Should nipples? Hell why cover them up, one nipple in the middle of the forehead.
25. nipelsukr - May 27, 2010 9:32 AM
mmmmm.... mocha
26. naas - May 27, 2010 9:33 AM
Another stupid idea come to fruition.... fake nipples.
Who has a problem nippin out that they'd need fake fucking nipples? Retarded
27. Gir - May 27, 2010 10:00 AM
OMG that looks a lot like that blue artificial lifeform thing a while back. They actually found a use for it!
28. Milkman - May 27, 2010 10:00 AM
why are they so gigantic? looks weird. real nips don't stab you in the face and blind you
29. on the back? - May 27, 2010 10:37 AM
@24 to go along with boobs on the back?
http://www.obviouswinner.com/obvwin/2009/11/19/back-boobs.html
30. adam - May 27, 2010 11:35 AM
"...draw attention to your natural assets"
Natural assets with fake nipples?
31. nye - May 27, 2010 12:22 PM
Perfect for people born without nipples as well! Finally I can fit in with all the nippled people!
32. DonkeyBoy - May 27, 2010 1:37 PM
Or...you could just apply ice for a few minutes...
33. sonniea - May 27, 2010 2:18 PM
@3 dry
@4 yes. women show other women everything
hard nipples, like camel toes, are like a piece of fabric away from being naked.
honestly alot of girls dont got nice boobs. if you dont got nice boobs then you dont got nice nipples.
i used to go swimming and there was this little asian lady that wouldnt wear and bathing suit but a beater and underpants. i used to call her "doorknobs" it was like two dates sitting on top of a half empty tetra juice box
34. sonniea - May 27, 2010 2:19 PM
oh ya and samantha wore them like years ago on sex and the city
35. orane - May 27, 2010 5:42 PM
why don t they just NOT wear a bra....
36. Sonniea - May 27, 2010 7:20 PM
Cuz most boobs go wall-eyed
37. Iron Balls McGinty - May 28, 2010 9:44 AM
OK, they've got White ones and Black ones..
- Big Deal -
What I want to know is:
Where are the "Senior Citizen" Nips?
Why were they left out?
You know the "saggy ones" that point straight down... past the belt line straight down to the ground?
just sayin'...
AARP magazine wants to advertise 'em...I am sure!
38. Mr Ford - June 3, 2010 9:31 PM
It looks like she has the smallest set of store boughts ever.