I know, I thought it was just a stone pickle too. But oh no -- it's a sex toy. My butt: you're not welcome in it.
Scientists believe they have found the world's oldest sex toy after piecing together more than a dozen fragments to create a 30,000 year old ice age penis.
A spokesman for the University of Tubingen where the prehistoric tool is being studied added that when it was not being used as a sex aid - the prehistoric penis was used to light fires.
The eight-inch stone penis has marks where it was clearly used for striking against flints - and scientists say the size and shape and polished appearance leave little doubt as to the other use of the sex toy.
LOLWUT?! A dildo that doubles as a fire-starter? That sounds dangerous (FIRE IN THE HOLE!). What, were there not enough rocks to go around? Because that's some serious dual-purposing. And speaking of which: buttplug sink stoppers.
Worlds oldest sex toy [austriantimes]
Thanks to lil co., who just learned me why they make the handles of hairbrushes so phallic.
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