Why Aren't You Real?!: Canned Unicorn Meat

Since I have seven loads of laundry in the wash and all my dresser drawers on the porch air-drying because my roommate thought it would be hilarious to saturate my dresser with his urine, I'm not really in an April Fools' Day mood. My anger and concealed weapon aside, this is canned unicorn meat from Thinkgeek. SPOILER ALERT: It's one of this year's fake April Fools' Day products. You can head over to their website to see the others, almost all of which they're gonna regret aren't real products when I steal the ideas and make a fortune. Did I say fortune? I meant sandwich. I can't go around thieving on an empty stomach! Or gas tank (I siphoned yours).
Thanks to JFreezy, SouthSideHope, anabaer, Ktar, Joe, chafir, Brianna, Mollie B, Xuan, Blaqk Panda and Steve, who have all had unicorn burgers before and agree they taste like magic and horse.
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Remember ThinkGeek's fake 'Canned Unicorn Meat' April Fools' product? Well it turns out they made it into a real product (that consists of a dismembered stuffed-animal unicorn in a can), and German customs isn't too thrilled people are trying to import it. Per an email receiv... / Continue →
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Wanna make your own unicorn poop cookies? WELL YOU ARE IN LUCK MY DISGUSTING FRIEND, because Instructable user Kristylynn84 has just the recipe for you! You're gonna be shitting magic! Jk jk, diarrhea, but who cares -- you tasted the rainbow. Me? I tasted a cow patty beca... / Continue →
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What you're looking at are incredibly thin pieces of lab-grown beef. Pretty appetizing, right? "They look like scabs with little pieces of Band-Aid stuck in them." Mmmmmmm, scabs. I just had one on my knee that was almost ready for harvest but it came off in the bed and I h... / Continue →

