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That's Real Life Right There: What REALLY Happens After Rescuing The Princess

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Note: Video is aaaaafter the jump.

You ever wonder what really happens after you rescue the princess at the end of a video game? The exact same thing that would happen in real life, that's what. Because SPOILER: princesses are only after your coins. Just like the real womens. They may say they love you, but really they just want you to buy them fancy things until they run off with a Brazilian masseuse or tell you they've been gay the whole time. Ha, can I see through you ladies or what? I'm tempted to write a book just so guys stop falling for your witchcraft.

CHAPTER 1: EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT WOMEN


Women are the ones with breasts but no penis. They smell good but get nervous if they catch you whiffing their hair on the bus. [Add more stuff here as you learn it]

End book.

Hit the jump to stick it to the man for six minutes.

Youtube

Thanks to Darken, Clint, Brian and Ste, who are smart enough to sell the princess to gypsies first chance they get.

  • July 29, 2010
    Like this: creating a special team of characters that spell out a cute message. Alternatively, grow a pair of Poké Balls and ask her out to her face. Huh? What do you mean I'm being too harsh?! A wild WHINER appears. GW uses STFU and stop crying or I'll beat you. It's su... / Continue →
  • March 7, 2011
    You know how they say that couples that are together for a long time start to look like one another? I know, I thought that was an old wive's tale too (old wives talk about the craziest shit!). Anyway, with this concept in mind, an upcoming online dating service (findyourfac... / Continue →
  • December 22, 2010
    That's not true, I can list dozens of games with complex female characters. Take Princess Zelda for example. She counts, right? Plus her boobs aren't even that big. I mean in my dreams they're like double-Z's, but in the games she's probably a B-cup. And you know what? I'... / Continue →
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