Because dogs shouldn't be the only ones with butt covers, somebody went and created Backtacular asscrack patches for ladies (link is NSFW). Classy, but I still prefer a girl with an eyepatch.
Backtacular is a hypoallergenic, decorative, adhesive patch that is applied directly to the skin above the upper cleft of the buttocks. Each package comes with two replacement tapes.
A two-pack of the Bedazzled denim patches will set you back $15. Alternatively, wear underwear. And none of those skanky whale-tail thongs either, I'm into those granny panties. Something I can use as a parachute if the apartment building catches fire.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the surrogate tramp-stamps.
New Fashion Alert!: Backtacular Ass Patch [iambored]
Thanks to Jacqueline, who uses duct tape like a normal girl.
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