Mar 3 2010The BK Noah's Ark: Two Of Every Kind Of Patty From Burger King (Plus Bacon Strips!)

Que tuba de lard.

That's a huge bitch!

All that and the last line of the receipt says "1 LG DIET"... hahahahaha

Burger King really means it when they say, "Have it your way."

Missing a key ingredient, pig brain! NOM NOM NOM
also, What-The-Fuck Veggie??? Replace that with more bacon; oink oink.

So God said, “I will send a Flood, 40 days and 40 nights, and lots of umbrellas, but I will save two of everything, because it looks good on the seesaw floater. Two hippos…” (mimics motion) “Noah, stop what you’re doing and build me an Ark.” And Noah, who’s Sean Connery playing the role of Noah…

“I’m working on a speedboat at the moment. It’s much more exciting, a bigger engine in a speedboat, and you can shoot across the water like that…”

“No, Noah, I want an Ark; an Ark with a big room for poo.”

“Look, a speedboat would really kick ass, it will give great photos to the people in The Bible. We can get all the animals with long ears to sit along the side… it’d be fucking excellent! Excellent photographs!”

“No, you build me an Ark. You can put a big engine in the Ark, if you want.”

“Okay… I should compromise.”

IDk... is it me or does it look like the thing can taste me back... i'll pass!!!

reminds me of this story my friend told me of when he went in and asked for a deca-burger so after explaining to the staff what the prefix deca means he recived a freaking 30 some dollar burger and a bag of buns, similar in badassedness i suppose.

Is that really something to be proud of, my pudgy friend? Well, I shouldn't talk. A couple of my friends and I had a taco eating contest at Del Taco once and I tied for first place with 18 soft tacos. It was Taco Tuesday (3 for 99 cents)! What else is there to do on Taco Tuesday?!?!?

I only see one fish patty! This thing is bogus! LOL

No wait... he orderd a larger DIET coke to wash it down... now thats funny!!!

I call shenanigans, I only see one fish patty.

YOU FOOLS! One fish on top and one on the bottom that got crushed by deliciousness, look at the reciept!

Furthermore, just look at the side shot. The fish is there.

And what's this veggie burger nonsense? Noah didn't bring two of every vegetable on the ark. And since when has this been an option on the BK menu? I guess they really are committed to the "Have it Your Way" thing.

I could Do it but I am not giving myself a shorter life over a burger. mayby if it was split in two or I came with $100

That thing gives me chest pains just looking at it.

thats fucking vomitous, dude goes "this is nasty" and then proceeds to eat the whole fucking thing??

YOU ARE A FILTHY PIG, SIR

@6. Closet Nerd
Nice Eddie Izzard reference. He rocks.

If that's the Ark then Big Fat Ugly is God.

see: http://www.fatsandwichcompany.com/Champaign/index.html

Full res original image here: http://marccocchio.googlepages.com/IMG_0340.JPG

This was good times. The counter-person who took the order was pretty confused , and they had to get a manager. Cool thing about it is that this happened about 30 minutes after Canada destroyed US for the olympic hockey gold, so it's kinda part of our history now.

As per the "veggie burger nonsense," it's because vegetarians are god's creatures, too. And veggie patties are made of vegetarians, right?

What, no cheese? I seriously don't see any cheese.

@20, I noticed something after I made my first comment. In the video I saw a second burger next to the big one, which your picture also indicates. What's the story there? It basically looks like a bun with lettuce and bacon.

Should have come in as they were switching over from breakfast and snuck some sausage in that bad boy.

Hey, this is Josh, the guy who ate it. As pointed out the second fish patty is on the bottom. I like my burgers wrapped in fish! The second burger that @22 saw there was actually the rest of the fish burger. See, BK doesn't have an option to add a fish patty, so I had to buy a second fish burger and assemble the thing myself. I got them to throw some bacon in there so my buddy Darryl (the one sitting beside me) would have something to eat while they waited for me to finish.

And yes, I drink DIET coke, because I think it tastes better. Suck it.

Ahaahaha Look at the grease on the receipt

@20,
Destroyed the US? Last time I checked it went into over-time and Crosby had a lucky goal go in. Destruction would be when the US beat Canada 5-3 the first time.
@24,
Props to you man for killing that monster burger! But really, diet Coke tastes better than regular Coke? Really??!?! REALLY?!?!?! That super burger must have messed with your taste buds LOL!

@26,
I used to work for Coke. I have tasted all possible variations, and I can say, without a doubt, that Diet Coke is my go-to drink.

I just wanna say to josh "the guy who ate it":
me love creativity, me love bkfat
me love designing, love eating...
me love so freaking fking a very lot your creativity with bkfat when designing that what you ate...
the brain inside my head wants to tell you that I used to work propperly (you know as a human thing... they say) and then the munchis monsta came and spoke of love to my belly... Brain stated that it was no good... then... bacon reached brain and finally the confusion stopped; peace on earth can be achieved once and only once we are all a big fat humandough waiting for the sunshine to fry us to doughnuts heaven (my mom told me it does exists)

Here's the first guy's FAILED ATTEMPT. He should be ashamed for trying this and not conquering it.
http://tinyurl.com/y8gqr2d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAQqdf2hlek
I like the idea of adding breakfast sausages (although which animal that isn't a chicken, cow, pig or fish is in a sausage...)

Hey, I'm the guy that made the orginal Noah's Ark video. I can't believe my video actually inspired someone else to eat one, I was kind of hoping it would have the opposite effect. Nice effort, though!

@29 Rob,
HAH, TAKE THAT, CALGARY!

Also, your description of the taste as akin to "rubber bands" wasn't all that inaccurate.

OH SHIT YES 30FIRST!!!! OMG I AM SO COOL! OH OH OH OHHHHHHHHH HEEEEEY EVERYONE! OHHHHHHHH.... ohhh.. oh. :(

:'''''''(

Seriously, what possessed you to create such an abomination? Look at the tab you racked up. You could have come up with something like that from a grocery store for a lot less than what you paid! I hope it satisfied whatever gastronomical orgasm you had at the time.

Wow, It's almost surreal to me that this happened in my city.

Sure glad your calorie wise enough for a diet beverage, lol.

burger are made for fat people that sit on there ass and play cod all day

This is why the terrorists hate us...

This is great. I have had a picture of my creation from BK's site above desk for several months now. I like to call it the Epic Whopper (5 whopper patties, 2 slices american, cheddar, swiss, and jalpeno jack cheeses, 5 orders of bacon, and extra mayo; 2430cal and 180g fat)

liar

Dude, wash your hands before you chow down.

Holy crap, even the bill is greasy.

I love the fact that he ordered a diet drink to go with this monstrosity.

uck. after looking at these pix I lost my appetite.

No mention of somethingawful.com? Shame on you all

@44, check out @29 comment tinyurl....

Wow..... That looks phenominal!

I think the best part is after all that he has the audacity to order a Diet drink.

DAMMIT, YOU GUYS, I LIKE THE TASTE OF DIET COKE! IS THAT SO WRONG?

@41
My hands are, in fact, clean. The discoloration you see is a result of a bunch of calloused skin from work that is basically always gray.

Hey. This is Ana, the one who took the video, edited it, and posted it on YouTube. I think it's kind of funny that people are jibing you about the diet Coke, jvarty1.

@44: If you watch the video and listen to the preamble in the beginning you would have heard, "So Burger King put up this application on their website to build your own burger and the guys at the Something Awful forums got a hold of it ..."

it looks so delicious! i l ike so much

2 veggie patties = fail

I understand 2 Fish , Beef, n Chicken, but Y 2 Veggie? DOnt know Noah collecting 2 of every plant, LOL

Rob (#30) did it on Something Awful, after the goons discovered the new BK site "built it your way" - I lost my shit when someone posted a mustard smear. Just the smear.

He took it like a champ, and (amazingly) did not throw up.

I have to admit - while watching his video I gagged once or twice. That shit is nasty.

I'd eat it, but then I'd *horf*.

who wants to suck it with me, like fucking i wanna have sex cuz im a horney fucker i go hard

Ha! Just in time: http://tjic.com/?p=13908

Ugh. That looks like a Bleeder from Burgershot. And if you have to ask what a Z-jay is, then you can't afford one.

Wow, when I first saw this I thought "Silly Americans with their silly fast food, giving themselves heart disease in a bun" Then I watched the video, and saw that these guys are from Edmonton. I'm from Calgary. I feel silly for thinking that now.