Sucky: The Pooch Power Dog Crap Vacuum
The Pooch Power Shovel (the quicker, shittier picker-upper) may look like a leaf blower, but it's not. It's also not anything I'd recommend you trying to attach to your genitals, but you know what? Go for it. I'm tired of mothering you. And, honestly, I'm looking forward to the 911 call being leaked.
The cordless Pooch Power Shovel sucks the waste directly into specially designed plastic bags making them easy to dispose of (up to 150 on a single charge) and at first glance you might think the clear plastic tube provides an unpleasant view of the business being dealt with, but when used properly the waste apparently never touches the machine or your hands. At $99.50 from Frontgate it's easily the most expensive pet poo solution I've seen, short of hiring someone else to do it, and the refill bags will set you back an additional $19.50 for 50 or $35.50 for 100.
It doesn't seem like that big a piece of crap(!) if you're only gonna use it in your backyard (I'd still just set the mower as low as it'll go and shoot shit everywhere), but I'd never carry this thing on a walk. Of course, I said the same thing when they came out with 500lb dumbbells....