Mar 26 2010Stereotyping: A Field Guide To Fanboys
This is a field guide to fanboys as compiled by PC World. Of course, you probably can't read it because it's so small and you can't afford nano-vision surgery so CLICK HERE to see the thing in all its boxy glory. And, as much as I hate to stereotype, this thing is spot-on.
Our Guide concerns itself mainly with members of the techie genus of the fanboy family--the hardcore fans of Apple, PC, Linux, Blackberry, Android, Xbox, PS3, and Dungeons and Dragons (D&D).
For each one we give you 14 key attributes, such as what sort of clothing they wear, what they drink, what they drive, what turns them on, and what enrages them. We give you just enough to differentiate between species quickly and accurately.
Interesting, but what Geekologie fanboys -- what defines you guys? Is it your devilish good looks, or your way with women? Neither? Pimples and a huge right forearm? Gotdamnit.
Fanboys: A Field Guide [pcworld]
Thanks to Johannes, who can't be pigeonholed into any stereotype, but can be stuffed inside a barrel and pushed over a waterfall.
Reader Comments
1. Bisque - March 26, 2010 5:06 PM
Wtf, no way am I going to turn my head 90 degrees! This is the internet for crying out loud!
2. nadalo - March 26, 2010 5:09 PM
It has BLADERUNER in it...I approve this field guide as a WIN
3. nadalo - March 26, 2010 5:12 PM
*BLADE RUNNER
4. S J West - March 26, 2010 5:13 PM
This is bullshit. I hate the way Apple users think they're so Superior in coolness? My PC ain't beige for fucks sake? Its anodized black for gods sake, with red lights on it and "it just fucking works" just like a mac, so suck on that fanboys, a PC that actually works trumps aaaaany mac any day.
5. dparks - March 26, 2010 5:16 PM
The joke's on you, GW - I'm a lefty!!
6. Harold^Sick - March 26, 2010 5:16 PM
Most of this "fanboy" guide seems completely random... how did they come up with this? Seriously? There are maybe like 10 items on that whole list which actually made sense.
7. plaidman - March 26, 2010 5:20 PM
I know this is supposed to be in jest but it's not even close.
8. M_D - March 26, 2010 5:22 PM
meh
9. atheistgirl - March 26, 2010 5:29 PM
But I'm a girl!
10. hung high - March 26, 2010 5:32 PM
As PS3 fanboys apparently say, EPIC FAIL!
11. annie - March 26, 2010 5:55 PM
That's not a beachball, it's a PINWHEEL!
12. msanchez - March 26, 2010 6:20 PM
Linux - not even close
13. Dishy - March 26, 2010 6:24 PM
Geekologie fanboi (or fanchick? fanpeep?):
Mantra: OLD!
Turn on: First!
Raw nerve: FAiL Firsttard!
Slang: Amirite?
Pysch-up music: 7 Things I Hate About You
Champion: GW
Turn off: Slightly NSFW posts
Movie: Twilight
TV Show: Teletubbies
Ride: Scooter that shoots fire (conceptual)
Clothing: Trench coat, commando underneath
Cubical decor: Mom's basement
Beverage: Bacon-flavored bacon juice
Deep fear: Superficial writer
14. Fuzzy Tingle Times - March 26, 2010 6:38 PM
Pretty Inaccurate for me, but as a large group... perhaps.
15. i am riboflavin - March 26, 2010 7:09 PM
aw man, the "psych-up music" for the pc & 360 are dave matthews, and linkin park. weak as shit! i fucking despise both of those goddamn queertarded bands!
16. wootgoestheewok - March 26, 2010 7:53 PM
I applied this to myself and got the rundown:
Mantra: You're a fuckin idiot.
Turn on: Hot nerdy chicks.
Raw nerve: fauxhawks and their douchebags
Slang: BAllz!
Pysch-up music: Dead Kennedy's
Champion: Loki
Turn off: "femstache"
Movie: District 9
TV Show: The IT Crowd
Ride: Tacoma 4x4
Clothing: Carhartt's, Samurai Champloo t-shirt, Chuck Taylors
Cubical decor: Sounders FC paraphernalia
Beverage: Dead Guy Ale
Deep fear: little people
17. Thewizard - March 26, 2010 10:05 PM
none of this made sense a couple were humorous but otherwise this is just another pointless post GW, whats with this very noticeable decline in content?
This site went from awesome to random occasionally funny pics. If i wanted this i could just go to a chan ffs.
18. G-string Dynamite - March 26, 2010 10:07 PM
Kraftwerk<3
19. 1 - March 26, 2010 10:12 PM
actually a pc fans dont have a raw nerve and mac's hero is an erected DICK
20. Clarknessmonstr - March 26, 2010 11:26 PM
I'm incredibly sad to say this but as a Linux Fanboy... This is dead on.
21. Anemone - March 26, 2010 11:43 PM
Im a PC fan and my PC is not freakin beige, its black. I have never seen a beige PC before...shop at any custom built pc store and they are all black with red/blue/green lights.
If anything on this list, i would be an Android fan...which i am.
22. Andre - March 27, 2010 2:07 AM
@15
AGREED! That shit is weak as fuck! Psych up music is supposed to be rowdy, not depressing or wussy!
@19
hilarious cause it's true!
23. otterpop78 - March 27, 2010 3:50 AM
as a pc fanboy AND D&D fanboy...I call bullshit. this thing is way off..... amirite??
24. FireFlynexes - March 27, 2010 4:47 PM
Mix the D&D fanboy with the Android fanboy and its almost perfect.
25. Dude - March 27, 2010 5:31 PM
Fail
1.its inacurate
2. Nintendo fanboys arent on that
3.World Of Warcraft fanboys arent on it
26. blueZorro - March 27, 2010 9:03 PM
All I have is a PC, Xbox 360, and Wii. Could care less about D and D, but like Mountain Dew. Apple is a fruit, but I watch Scrubs.
27. sprite420 - March 29, 2010 12:04 AM
the android-user's beverage is described as a "double-tall... triple-shot mocha". if you said that to a professional barista, they would politely explain to you that "double-tall" refers to a 12oz beverage with two shots of espresso in it instead of the standard single shot, whereas the term "triple-shot" will get you three shots of espresso, regardless of size.
28. John - March 29, 2010 12:24 AM
Glad to see I'm not the only one that thinks its wildly inaccurate. The 360/PS3 parts in particular are just retarded, not even funny or clever in their outright error.
29. Tony - March 29, 2010 1:26 PM
PS3 Fanbot: Turn-on: Ninjas with breasts = lulz.
30. kramer - March 29, 2010 6:24 PM
total bulshit and not funny
31. Jaja - March 30, 2010 12:39 PM
ALL WRONG!
32. killerabbit - April 1, 2010 1:17 AM
The "Apple IIe fish tank" is definitely not a IIe. I guess this wasn't made by an Apple fanboy.
33. Katie - May 21, 2010 11:18 PM
A PS4 for 500 bucks?? Sounds like a deal. PS3 son of a bitch started out the gate at 600, didnt it? but who knows, I bought a 360. :)
besides the point, the xbox fanboyisms are waaay off. And it shoulda had world of warcraft/xbox fanboys so I could compare it to the living sloth, my husband.