Nooo: Old-Style PS3's Suffer Global Meltdown
In an attempt to convince consumers to always upgrade when they release an updated version of a product, Sony sneakily worked some malicious code into old-style PS3's, rendering them bunk. Thanks a lot, jerks. Kidding, that's not what happened, please don't sue me. But it totally is and you know it. I know how this shit works, I took a business class in community college.
On its official PlayStation Blog, Sony posted that the "problem is being caused by a bug in the clock functionality incorporated in the system" and advises users of pre-Slim PlayStation 3 consoles to not use their systems "as doing so may result in errors in some functionality, such as recording obtained trophies, and not being able to restore certain data." Sony also said: "We hope to resolve this problem within the next 24 hours."
Nice try, Sony, but I'm not falling for it. You know how the saying goes: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice I WILL CUT YOU BITCH DON'T THINK I WON'T I AIN'T GOIN' BACK TO PRISON!
Thanks to Lerner, cabbo, Dr. Steel, Tre B, suzanne, Calming Body Wash and Jeff, who all live dangerously and won't be playing with their Wiimote straps tonight.