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March 7, 2010 - March 13, 2010 Archives

  • March 13, 2010
    NOTE: Full-res version HERE. The latest in nutritional flow charts (after fast food, beer and breakfast cereal), comes the candy edition. Now I don't know about you, but when I'm hankering for something sweet, there's only one thing that does the trick: candy dots. Kidding, ... / Continue →
  • March 13, 2010
    You know, as I drive across this great country of ours, I've gotten to thinking, "is the tractor trailer driver next to me really masturbating?" And more often that not, yes, he is. Also, this picture: so not cool I don't even wanna go into it. So that's how it ends? Good to... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    The Can Grip snaps on to any standard aluminum can, providing the drinker with not only a handle, but a coaster. AAAAAAAH, future technology! Plus, they're cheap, only $10 for 6. Now, where the hell can I get some of that watermelon beer in the picture? And, more importantl... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    This is a Passat somebody lifted and added some big-ass tires to. It looks ridiculous and I wouldn't be caught dead driving it even if somebody killed me and propped me up in the front seat with a brick glued to my foot. Of course, then you might argue I couldn't help but be ... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    This is the expensive-as-hell Louis Moinet Jurassic Tourbillon Watch. It's face is made out of 130-million year old dino bones (which would technically make it the Louis Moinet Cretaceous Tourbillon Watch, but rich people are idiots). "It's also got other nice features, like ... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    Aside from Geekologie and The International Jurassic Park Erotic Fan-Fiction Writer's Association, Lazertits might very well be the best site to ever hit the web -- and my retinas. HAPPY EYES! For centuries the female bosom has been wrongfully held in the prison of maternal... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    This $27 Place Setting Placemat shows you where to set all the flatware and glasses when you're making a fancy dinner, so your guests are impressed with how highfalutin you are except for the blueprint placemats and microwavable lasagna. Also, I don't know about you, but I don... / Continue →
  • March 12, 2010
    Geekologists, I'm leaving today to drive 2,100 miles cross country to Los Angeles, which I will be calling home until it chews me up and spits me out and tries to urinates on me before I roundhouse kick it in the pecker (I may be down, but I'm never out). That's my actual set... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    Guess what? Those aren't misconceptions, those are the truth. So this isn't so much a win as a monster fail. Unless you're from the Unifying Force school of thought, in which case I can understand why you'd say the first part, but not the second. So at best half credit. An... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    National Geographic photographer Andrew Evans recently spotted this rare color mutation of a King Penguin on the island of South Georgia, near Alabama Antarctica. Apparently the all-black coloration is unheard of in penguin's coats. But not trenchcoats. Per the photographer:... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    This is a super-simple scene from Pixar's 'Up' created in LEGO by Peter Aoun. Now how cute is that? I just wanna eat all those lil balloons like candy! *crunch* Mmmmm, even better than I could've imagined! Here, you try a cloud. But wait, let's turn out the lights first --... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    This is a chick with a Darth and Crosssabers tattoo. It's being hailed as the new skull and crossbones and that may be true but I'm a traditionalist so I'll be sticking to my Yosemite Sam and Tasmanian Devil tats, thank you very much. Now I know what you're thinking, and as a... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    This is promo commercial for the BBC's upcoming series, 'Superpower', a show airing this month which will investigate the ways in which the interwebs are transforming the world. It's narrated by what I thought was a ghost-alien at first, but actually turned out to be A PERSON ... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    Seascaper, get it? Like a skyscraper, BUT IN THE OCEAN! What do you mean, "of course I got it?" I happen to know for a fact that there are several of you out there that don't ever get anything but confused looks. FACE! hO2+ scraper is a design concept entered into the eVoI... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    This is a haiku inspired by Mystery Science Theater 3000 and posted on the appropriately titled website mst3khaiku. I posted two more after the jump, but the site is brand new and there are only a total of five so far. I just thought I'd post it now and get it out of the way ... / Continue →
  • March 11, 2010
    A bunch of children took the time to send letters to famed astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson complaining about Pluto's declassification as a planet. As you'll see, those little kids can get pretty vicious! And I'll tell you one thing -- I wouldn't want to meet any of them i... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    This is a video of once-renowned bounty hunter Boba Fett reduced to peddling Zelda tunes on the accordion for handouts. What happened Boba? And please don't say Dog. That guy couldn't catch a bounty if his mullet depended on it. And it probably does. Hair product doesn't g... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    Have trouble cracking eggs? You're special. Like special special. But thankfully there's the As Seen on TV EZCracker. The $15 pos can crack eggs to extract the whole egg or JUST THE WHITE! OMGWTFOMELETS?! But that's not all, folks, if you call in the next fifteen minutes o... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    I don't think I need to explain the cleverness behind these harmonicas, but in case there's anybody out there that isn't familiar with the NES and its intricacies, I'll copy/paste a quote here for you because I care am lazy. If you grew up in the 80's and played video games, a... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    This is a real car that runs on coffee. Like, for real, dude. You just drop in, and just smack the lip, WAH-BAP!, drop down, SAN-BAAAAHHH!! And then after that, you just drop in, just ride the barrel and get pitted, so pitted. Nicknamed the Car-puccino, it has been created ... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    This is a new commercial for the much-anticipated God of War 3 that's dropping March 16th. It's pretty much the most realistic commercial I've ever seen and the scene will no doubt be replayed in hundreds of thousands of homes across the globe in a scant week. Isn't that righ... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    New York City ran a contest to design a new logo for the free condoms it distributes every year, and apparently some guy won by just using the 'power' symbol and not actually designing anything himself. Nice, you no talent hack. The city's health department distributes 40 mil... / Continue →
  • March 10, 2010
    This is a raygun blaster car decal made using the traditional elements of the Jesus fish. They come in black and silver (picture of silver after the jump) and cost $5 shipped in the US, $6 internationally. It's just a spoof on the Jesus fish design and isn't intended to have ... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    You gotta admit, that's a pretty clever Photoshop job. Granted not as clever as any of your ideas, but that's because you're so smart and creative and should probably be hired by some company and paid a million dollars a year just for thinking all day. Unfortunately, life isn... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    Remember the jackass that tried exploding his little terrorist genitals onboard Northwest Flight 253 over Christmas? Well the BBC set out to investigate exactly what kind of damage a crotchful of PETN could actually do to a flying jetliner. The BBC did a test on an old deco... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    It's the Tron you've been asking for ever since you decided it was socially acceptable to start asking for a Tron: sleeker designs, motorcycles that can swerve, sexier Tronettes, nicer furniture... an albino Tron David Bowie/Jim Carrey's Riddler? YES: Continue Reading "'Tron L... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    This is a hookah somebody made out of an old computer case. Why'd you want to do that is beyond me, but I've given up on understanding why people do things. Except peeing outside, I totally get that. It's like, you're one with Mother Nature, you know? Almost like she's hold... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    I've known UV light tattoos have existed for awhile, but I've never seen such good use of the idea until Matty posted this picture on Geekologie's Facebook page. So yeah, props to whoever this is having them go all the way to the fingernail, I'd figure that would hurt. Of cou... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    "Color me up!" toilet paper serves as some sort of advertisement for some sort of company. I can't really read it, but their logo looks like a meditating Rasta. But that's not what's important, what's important IS YOU STAY BETWEEN THE LINES. Also, I think they could have inc... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    Actually, it'll dispense any liquid, Daniel Valdez just fills it with cranberry and vodka because, hey, the man likes girly drinks. Me? I'll stick to bourbon and motor oil. Huh? NO I'M NOT A ROBOT YOU JACKASS. I just like the way it tastes. Plus it makes my pee thick and ... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    The question has long intrigued the smartest and most handsome of scientists (me, I'm talking about me): how did dinosaurs do it? If you answered "awkwardly", you're close, but the correct answer is awesomely. Plus accidentally in the butt sometimes! Anyway, you may recall t... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    Rouse the villages, tell them to bring torches! A 101-year-old woman in China has baffled doctors after growing a huge goat-like horn on her forehead. "[At first] we didn't pay too much attention to it," said Mrs Zhang's youngest son Zhang Guozheng. Cutaneous horns are m... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    LEGO and Pixar got together to release this green army men set in celebration of the upcoming Toy Story 3. They're just like the green army men you used to have checker wars with as a kid, except LEGO. What, no radio-pack guy?! There's an important mission in Andy's bedroom ... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2010
    Sure you gain weight when you're pregnant, but you gotta work with me here. Also, the pregnancy thing wasn't actually proven in the study, it's just my own hypothesis. One that's 100% true. GW's Law of Knocking Up Drunk Womens. The risk of becoming overweight or obese falls... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    This is a pair of squirrels playing outerspace in the park with a couple of coconut helmets on their heads. YOU TWO ARE CRACKING MY SHIT UP!! Miss Roberts, 46, leaves out two coconuts a week and suspends them on pieces of string from her washing line and watches her furry fri... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD DO NOT PUT LEGO PIECES IN YOUR MOUTH UNLESS YOU LOVE DELICIOUS THINGS. This is a segment from some German variety show in which a unisexual teen identifies LEGO Star Wars minifigs be swishing them around in his/her mouth for a little while. Unfortunate... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Put your hand down your pants. Now feel around. Realistically, how many of your penises would it take to fill a hotdog bun? Four or more you may need a chrome Hummer H2. And thankfully, Germany-based CFC (way to screw the ozone, jerks) has got you covered. In adhesive chro... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    The Sockintosh was knitted by needle wielding Rachel Burns (appropriate name) and is a unisock for your feet that has a pouch to put your Mac power supply in to keep your tootsies warm. Me? I use a dog. "I knitted this Apple Mac foot cosy after realising I constantly used my... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Not to start any wild speculation or anything, but I haven't heard from Toad in over a week and the mushrooms on Luigi's pizzas are f***ing huge. And delicious. 'But our princess is in another castle' this, you little fungus! OM NOM NOM NOM. Google Maps Thanks to Alex, who... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Last week it was 'The New Dork Anthem', and this week it's 'The New Dork', a spoof of Jay-Z and Alicia Key's 'Empire State of Mind' by pantless knights, the same makers as the 'I'm on a Mac' song and dance. It's an attempt at reclaiming the term "dork" and embracing a new, pos... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Don't watch for too long or you will have a seizure. Or, oh I dunno, THE MOST INTENSE ORGANISM OF YOUR LIFE. What? No I don't reread things for grammatical errors. DAMMIT JIM I'M A SCIENTIST, NOT AN ENGLISH MAJOR. Stereo Dino Optical Illusion [moillusions] Thanks Vee, I l... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Apparently Castle Grayskull's gift shop is looking for a new cashier after Orko was caught stealing from the register. For shame, Orko, Prince Albert would not be happy. Oh did I say Albert? I meant Adam. No, no I didn't (I wanted to see you squirm thinking about a ring thr... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    What you're looking at is part of a new line of LEGO Star Wars watches that are dropping April 1st. Which, I know, is April Fools, but these products are real. Some styles are kids-size only but there are some adult sizes as well. $22 for kids, $30 for adults but the adult ... / Continue →
  • March 7, 2010
    The Inverse Graphing Calculator takes typed words and converts them to the equivalent equations it would take to create them graphically. Hey, that's cool. Like a sorceress's areolas. The Inverse Graphing Calculator (version beta-1) is like a backwards graphing calculator.... / Continue →
  • March 7, 2010
    This is a video of a couple jackasses shooting a model rocket made of meat. It was an interesting experiment from a purely scientific standpoint, but a terrible waste of resources. It does get funny at the end though because SPOILER ALERT: the rocket crashes through the kitch... / Continue →
  • March 7, 2010
    Remember the Star Wars burlesque show that went down not too long ago? Well tattoo artist Bryce Nadeau was so impressed by the artistic expression he got his roommate drunk and tattooed him with a commemorative dancing stormtrooper. And that, my friends, is exactly why I'll n... / Continue →
  • March 7, 2010
    This is a little Mac vs. PC cartoon. It made me giggle. BUT LIKE A MAN. No -- like a pirate. YAR HAR HAR! But maybe you didn't like it. Maybe you laughed like a ninja. Oh You Know [comixed] Thanks to Nathan, who, PEW PEW PEW. Counter-Strike!... / Continue →