Happy Valentine's You Filthy Love Machines

February 14th: A day invented by Hallmark to ensure I'll never live up to my girlfriend's expectations (it's true, Mayan calendars skip straight from Feb. 13 to Feb. 15). I hope you're having a good one and spending it with the one you love. Or at least looking at pictures of her on Facebook and sobbing while she's out to dinner with her boyfriend. Hey, it happens. Happy Valentine's Day, may yours be filled with all the love possible. And sex. Dirty, kinky sex. Now, where'd I put that saddle?
Someecards (the best online cards for any occassion)
Thanks to you, the reader, for filling my heart with joy and hate every single day.
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STOLEN IDEA WAS STOLEN. Note: Giant version HERE in case you really need a giant version for some reason (weirdo). Now I know what you're thinking, "Damn, why can't I have a girlfriend like that?" And the answer, my friend, is the whole package. You don't have it. You don'... / Continue →
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This is a video of a Rube Goldberg machine built for Valentine's Day. The couple set it into motion as soon as they come in the door, then proceed to get all hot and heavy while it does its thing. Not gonna lie, I was half worried I was gonna see dude's wiener before it was a... / Continue →
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This is a series of minimalistic scientific cards by artist Nicole Martinez, each featuring a geeky lil way to tell that special someone, "I am in the loves with you." Granted I'd argue some of them actually say "you give me a boner", but what do I know? I'm just a grown-ass ... / Continue →

