Feb 22 2010Dude, That's Deep: Mariana Trench To Scale
NOTE: Full-res shot HERE because you can't see a damn thing in this one. Don't even lie, your eyes aren't that good.
The Mariana Trench is the deepest part of the ocean and extends at least 7 miles below sea level. That's deep. So deep nothing but my penis can reach the bottom. It's true -- one time I accidentally poked a slumbering Kraken in the head while trolling for lobster. Wow, isn't the earth a mysterious place? There's so much we have yet to learn. Like what causes weather and how come the local meteorologist can't predict rain for shit? Also, if everyone on the planet went swimming in the ocean at the same time would California sink or would it just be a great time to rob a bank? Why do children always feel obligated to crap in a wave pool?
The Mariana Trench To Scale [i-am-bored]
Thanks to kush, who I would totally smoke if I wasn't eligible for random drug testing. (Anybody selling clean urine?)
Reader Comments
1. josh - February 22, 2010 12:57 PM
first
2. PaidParkingTickets - February 22, 2010 12:58 PM
Siegel sucks
3. LSDiesel - February 22, 2010 1:00 PM
Look, it's STOMPY's mom's vagina.
4. Jaded Icon - February 22, 2010 1:02 PM
@ 1
Seriously?
Anyways, this is pretty cool. I think we are still trying to find new species there.
5. Lolwut - February 22, 2010 1:06 PM
Pish. That's nothing. You should see my marinara trench. It's not that deep but it's full of tomato & basilly goodness.
6. Danny - February 22, 2010 1:11 PM
Pft... My penis is longer
7. Pat - February 22, 2010 1:14 PM
@5 LOL
8. Brobert - February 22, 2010 1:30 PM
If at 3,280 ft, light can no longer penetrate the water, why does it continue to get darker? I would think that would be the darkest point.
9. Eric - February 22, 2010 1:32 PM
If you bring up an Anglerfish will it get a wicked case of the Bends?
10. Ollie Williams - February 22, 2010 1:35 PM
@8
GTFO.
11. blueZorro - February 22, 2010 1:39 PM
Damn! Dropped my keys...anyone have a Bioshock bathysphere?
12. John - February 22, 2010 1:40 PM
I know there is some freaky shit that deep in the ocean just waiting for me to stick my penis in it. I can't wait.
13. Dishy D aka Mary Anna's Wrench - February 22, 2010 1:42 PM
@8 light gets compressed at those depths, but the darkest point would be the black hole at the center of the earth.
14. blueZorro - February 22, 2010 1:50 PM
@10 IT'S GETTING DEEP!
15. Morty Cohen - February 22, 2010 1:51 PM
I swam that deep in Hebrew camp, Mariana is shit.
16. Dishy D aka Merry Anna's Stench - February 22, 2010 1:55 PM
So many deep questions that scientists are only beginning to scratch the surface of. Like how much would sea level rise if everyone flushed at the same time? And how would that affect global morning?
17. Paul - February 22, 2010 1:58 PM
FWIW - Article on 2008 expedition to 7000+ m with photos and video of the weird creatures:
http://www.spiegel.de/wissenschaft/natur/0,1518,583200,00.html
18. dragonati - February 22, 2010 2:21 PM
thats where the merpeople of atlantis are and sharks are the size of boewings.
19. cabbo - February 22, 2010 2:54 PM
@8 Because of all those shiny 'Flashlight fish'.
@9 Only if it's a guy Anglerfish.
@Dishy Dishington: Mary Ann's Wrench? Oh! It's a play on Mariana Trench!
... why?
You can't see it because it's too dark, but at the very bottom of the trench, that's where God is. Chillin'.
20. Ollie Williams - February 22, 2010 3:24 PM
I'm sorry #8, let's make out and be friends. Oh, you're into the freaky shit huh? You sly dog you. Break out the cardboard tube and the flashlight fish, it's gonna be a crazy ass night! Naas, Diesel, you're all welcome to join as usual. I'll see you at 7:30.
21. Ollie Williams - February 22, 2010 3:25 PM
Anyone else see "Mariana Trench" and immediately want some cheesy bread sticks?
22. @22 - February 22, 2010 3:33 PM
@21 MAKE LOVE TO ME!
23. Mark Meltzer - February 22, 2010 4:06 PM
But where is the city of Rapture!?!?
24. abyss - February 22, 2010 5:44 PM
Reminds me of "The abyss" movie
25. Dishy D - February 22, 2010 5:54 PM
It's a dark wet fishy-smelling place where the sun never shines, but I like going down there.
26. footclan - February 22, 2010 11:27 PM
I just part 2 watched of a nature documentary called Blue Planet, narrated by David Attenborough. It was about the deep sea. A lot of fucked up things down there. I recommend it and anything by Attenborough - the planet earth dude!
27. bribios - February 23, 2010 4:35 AM
The deep ocean scares the crap out of me. Freaky looking fish, no light, crushing pressure.
28. atheistgirl - February 23, 2010 8:57 AM
Damn but that's deep!
Great place to hide a body.
29. DarkPatu - February 23, 2010 9:40 AM
They left out a part! There should be one at 36,500ft: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. I mean, honestly...
30. Penis - February 23, 2010 1:21 PM
Damn, I wanted to be the first one to say "Cthulu at 36000 feet" but hey, Cthulu is at 36000 ft.
31. GiNa - February 23, 2010 2:34 PM
The ocean scares the shizz out of me no matter how deep. It's juts so powerfull and unknown and scary. I love you ocean, please be nice to me when I surf you.
32. Cute girl from the Avengers - February 24, 2010 12:09 AM
Thanks GW, for rekindling my childlike sense of wonder. Maybe I shouldn't die today. *puts down painkillers*
33. paul - February 24, 2010 4:30 PM
35: The troll zone. Although sparse, intelligent comments exist at this level.