Feb 8 201020-Minute Avatar Review By The Same Guy Who Did 50-Minute Phantom Menace Review
If you haven't already seen it, this is a 20-minute review of Avatar by the same monotonously voiced cat who did the nearly hour-long Phantom Menace review. It's pretty good. Not as good as you're looking this morning, but God must have put diamonds in your eyes or some shit because you are lookin' finer than a steak dinner. Are you getting this, romance writers? I'm thinking about holding a workshop.
Hit the jump for part two.
Thanks to Navi'Gator, Jason, Yopoleo, Khephran, Jessie, chris, DM and marcus, who review plays because they're chock-full of culture.
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Reader Comments
1. Mr.Checkers - February 8, 2010 1:49 PM
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
2. Omega - February 8, 2010 1:49 PM
This dude's voice is disturbing. It makes little children cry.
3. GHEY MAN - February 8, 2010 1:49 PM
COCK
4. zach - February 8, 2010 1:57 PM
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
5. Yes_thats_how_it_is - February 8, 2010 1:59 PM
And the most disturbing thing is... This man speaks the truth.
6. Uncleangry - February 8, 2010 2:02 PM
This F@^%# is my hero.
7. Evan - February 8, 2010 2:16 PM
I am so pleased to fins someone else who thinks Avatar was complete shit.
8. Asperflux - February 8, 2010 2:25 PM
Long live the robots.
9. pirhan - February 8, 2010 2:29 PM
This man is genius.
10. Rebekah - February 8, 2010 2:38 PM
WTF did yesterday never happen? i waited all day for my geekologie.
11. schmoogleman - February 8, 2010 2:41 PM
@Evan
if you watched the whole thing you would've heard him say that he actually liked the movie itself and just thought plot was a bit simple
12. michelle - February 8, 2010 2:46 PM
Great review. This guy is funny as hell.
13. Pat - February 8, 2010 2:51 PM
What's Avatar?
---------
Visit my site to read my newly published story, "Ragnarok."
14. Scottamalla - February 8, 2010 3:01 PM
This commentary would be WAYYYY more funny if the guy didn't speak the way he did. He sound's autistic...really. And his delivery of his jokes are a little shaky.
15. eron - February 8, 2010 3:08 PM
+1 to all you. All but #13. No superstition.
16. zakree - February 8, 2010 3:44 PM
Baman Piderman - Love it!!
17. E.T. - February 8, 2010 3:47 PM
F*ck havent got to see the damn movie yet.......
18. Beautiful but bitter. - February 8, 2010 4:20 PM
Ha ha. Pretty funny. He reminds me of the grumpy old man in 'Up'.
19. DH - February 8, 2010 4:32 PM
i don't care how simple the plot was or how anti-mainstream i am... that movie was unfckinreal
20. Some Old Nobodaddy - February 8, 2010 5:01 PM
@11
If that's what you ultimately came away with after watching the whole thing, well...
I got one word for you (& 19/dh): Ba-aaa-aaa-aa-aaa!
(Personally, of the two who enter the abattoir, I'd rather be the guy in the apron.)
21. mike - February 8, 2010 5:06 PM
wow, can't believe someone out there actually confirmed the anticipations in my head as to why i didn't have any interest in seeing avatar in the first place. come to think of it, i don't think i saw titanic in the theatre either and I'm pretty sure I've never seen it all the way through.
now t2, that was a movie. no love story, just carnage. the bad guy didn't need to be stereotypical, either. just cold and calculating.
22. Jaded Icon - February 8, 2010 5:39 PM
This guy was spot on. Too bad he sounds like he was getting a root canal at the dentists office....
23. Blue - February 8, 2010 7:18 PM
Sir, you are the dull voice of the realities within the ether...
24. E.T. - February 8, 2010 7:31 PM
@19. Too bad for you and your life of shallow leisure.
25. Timothy Hernandez - February 8, 2010 8:05 PM
He's spot-on in his assessments. I particularly like his brief comparison to District 9, which was a superior film. And, "The Hurt Locker" was the best film of 2009; if Kathryn Bigelow doesn't get the Oscar for Best Director over Cameron, then there's something amiss with the movie industry...hey, wait a minute....
26. Jas - February 8, 2010 8:57 PM
@24
agreed.
Sorry #19
27. Jas - February 8, 2010 9:00 PM
@25 I know I also enjoyed the D9 commentary!
Yes the Hurt Locker was awesome. I will forever loose my faith in humanity if Avatar takes Best Director..... or Best Picture for that matter. Geez
28. soundofbread - February 8, 2010 9:32 PM
"THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP,
IS ACID IN YOUR CUP."
Love this guys movie reviews, so fuckin funny.
29. Lovin Jake Sully - February 8, 2010 9:35 PM
@19
yes, you are prettty much the only senible person in all of these comments, un f ing real, geekologie dude, just go see the fricking movie, accept the fact that you really want to see this movie despite what everyone else says
30. soundofbread - February 8, 2010 9:53 PM
This review was not as good as the star wars one though. Still a good watch.
31. Gir - February 8, 2010 10:32 PM
4:26 - Alita for the win!
32. Spencer Drager - February 8, 2010 11:35 PM
I totally agree with this review. The storyline was simplistic and the characters one-dimensional. I loved what he said about the utterly evil and ignorant military guy, the ever-greedy corporate suit, and the pure and peaceful Na'vi. Nothing is so simple in real life.
33. E.T. - February 9, 2010 12:30 AM
Steve Martin is not funny.
34. nike outlet - February 9, 2010 3:26 AM
I totally agreed ,hahahahaha.
35. Ballz - February 9, 2010 4:57 AM
@ 13: What's Avatar you ask? Well, if you've seen Pocohontas and/or Dances With Wolves and/or FernGully, then you already know.
36. tommy - February 9, 2010 6:27 AM
In the movie it's not the military. They are mercenaries. I would be extremely angry is that is how james cameron perceived the military.
37. steven - February 9, 2010 8:01 AM
you all may complain about avatar... but it's the highest grossing film... of all time... i think you're in a minority there. so stop whining.
38. metalgearadam - February 9, 2010 12:05 PM
am i the only one that likes his voice? I think it adds to the character he plays
39. Kristjan - February 9, 2010 3:15 PM
Holy poops, he's sorta right. Plus I got pretty pissed, when the dude decided to betray his own kind (humans)... way to represent! :D
40. E.T. - February 10, 2010 1:16 PM
@37 Steven Don't you realize how things really are ? We live in a world of Play doh brained people, a generation molded to fit the theater's seats. Amazed by smoke and mirrors, get in line for another blue pill.
41. kizface - February 11, 2010 4:19 AM
@ 35: yes it's fern gully right? that scene where the blue man kitty is asleep and the blue lady kitty is panicking because a big-off vehicle is coming to destroy the trees, is the same freaking thing!!! haha! i did actually like the film though, which is completely irrelavant as this review was brilliant. i guess i just like liking stuff.
42. Goose - February 11, 2010 7:51 AM
I couldn't even watch past the first five minutes of Avatar I found listening to Criple McWheelie prattling on about his dead brother incredibly boring.
43. Blue Montoya - February 23, 2010 8:09 PM
The best movie I've seen in a long time. Avatar will definitely be a classic. Cameron definitely made a great movie with great special effects. Click here to Watch Avatar