You've Got To Be Kidding Me: Cleavage Caddy
The cleavage caddy may look like a breast-shaped CD holder for your car's sun visor, but it's not. No, it's a purse a woman (or moobed gentleman -- hopefully with a monocle) stows between their breasts (look at me using the proper nomenclature!) and bra.
An insert for your bra with or without an added lace accent to to enhance your attire with a feminine influence. If you choose the lace version, the lace covers your cleavage, adding an extra element of modesty, while still allowing you to carry all of your personal items discretely tucked in your bra. These are worn anchored to the bra by the elastic strap with a snap. Tuck away your keys, credit cards, lipstick and more!
Caddies cost $30 and are guaranteed to make your boobs look all angular and pointy and generally undesirable. But will guys still stare at them? Absolutely. Available in medium (below 38D) and large (above 38D) something something MOTORBOAT! *BWUBWUBWUBWWUB!* Pulitzer me.
Thanks to Justin, who totally didn't find the site searching "cleavage" on Google (yes he did too).