Jan 20 2010Who Wants To Go Halfsies With Me? NASA Selling Off The Old Space Shuttles
Who's with me? This might just our ticket to becoming diamond gazillionaires by plundering Uranus (straight face, straight face) and Neptune's diamond oceans!
But you will still need a rather large bank balance to purchase the Discovery Space Shuttle, which is being sold off by Nasa for $28.2 m (£17.7m).
The soon-to-be redundant shuttle was the ultimate boy's toy, flying faster and higher than any other machine in history. It was originally worth $42 million (£25.8 m) but the price has plummeted to take in the cost of hauling the monster from the Kennedy Space Centre to a major US airport.Discovery, which has completed 37 missions into space and 5,247 orbits, has already been promised to the Smithsonian Institution's National Air and Space Museum, but shuttles Atlantis and Endeavour are still available, the Independent reports.
Why that article says you can buy Discovery but then goes on to say it's already been promised to the Kennedy Space Center is beyond me, but I suspect it has something to do with incredible journalistic skills like mine. That aside, who wants to go in on a shuttle with me? Worse comes to worse we can just park it in my backyard and play space. "Cobra Commander to Green Giant, come in Green Giant. We are docking at the Space Brothel now, confirm freaky three tittied aliens, over."
Nasa puts Discovery space shuttle up for sale for £17.7m [telegraph]
Thanks to Jack, Riki Kiki Taco, Brandy Alexander the Great and Shabs, who are all welcome to join my crew for the low, low introductory rate of $8.4 million apiece.
Reader Comments
1. Matt-Zilla - January 20, 2010 10:46 AM
c'mon cheat, were gonna take this baby to the mooooon!!!!
2. KingBobOmb - January 20, 2010 10:58 AM
I hope I find some gold stars that turn me invincible.
http://king-bob-omb.mybrute.com
3. That MF Kymander - January 20, 2010 11:02 AM
this is pretty epic shit. Like i wonder if they are still fully functional, enough to actually get into orbit.
4. Closet Nerd - January 20, 2010 11:06 AM
We need to 'bot box' (or fishbowl) that space shuttle, then we'll feel like we're in spaaaaaaaaaaaaace........ just sayin
5. naas - January 20, 2010 11:07 AM
that thing'll be sold like a hot-cake... one super delicious hot-cake! HOT-CAKE!
6. UnpaidParkingTickets - January 20, 2010 11:08 AM
I wouldn't buy...CarFax report said it has been in multiple asteroid fender benders.
7. Closet Nerd - January 20, 2010 11:13 AM
@5 come up with your own name (handle)
8. Great White Pygmy - January 20, 2010 11:19 AM
I TOLD you yesterday GW. I hold the deed to URANUS!
9. DrNecropolis - January 20, 2010 11:20 AM
I can throw down like $10...maybe $20.
10. G - January 20, 2010 11:25 AM
Seriously, diamonds are not that rare, and relatively easy to produce synthetically. The only reason they're so expensive is because they're rigidly controlled--the supply is not released all at once. It's not worth going into space to try to find them. If you bring back a shuttle-full and flood the market, you won't even make back the costs of the flight--you won't even make back the cost of the shuttle.
Which isn't to say I wouldn't love to own Discover, Atlantis, or Endeavor. Ooooooo yeah.
11. The Revolutionary - January 20, 2010 11:32 AM
I would LOVE to own a space shuttle! Can I write you a check?
And, um, can you wait until next Friday to cash it?
12. Pat - January 20, 2010 11:33 AM
Yes! Yes! Yes! I want one! I want one! I want one!
13. Carlos Spicy Weiner - January 20, 2010 11:37 AM
I'll go on the trip, once they create "dehydrated space bacon"..... just sayin
14. Shaky Premise - January 20, 2010 12:05 PM
What's the mileage on that thing?
15. Stone - January 20, 2010 12:15 PM
The way I read the story... Discovery was sold to the Smithsonian or to someone who donated it to the Smithsonian. It's only poorly worded if you're an American speaking God's English... not that lame excuse for English they use in, say, England.
16. Steal This Webcomic - January 20, 2010 12:29 PM
Dude, I'm in. I need a spaceship to take out Destro's Weather Dominator satellite, anyway.
But you're going to need a better ship to get to the Space Brothels. Everyone knows the triple-breasted space hoochies are only on Mars, just ask Douglas Quaid.
17. ciao - January 20, 2010 1:35 PM
I bet some fella is gonna buy one and convert it into a house....garden decorations will be invader statues. pew pew pew
18. apollo - January 20, 2010 2:15 PM
I'm being nitpicky about your last paragraph.
The Discovery was house at KSC, not promised to the KSC.
The KSC promised it to the Smithsonian.
19. Tennist0 - January 20, 2010 2:57 PM
GW, I will pay half...but ONLY if you promise we will go to Pandora after stopping at Neptune and Nepture.
20. The Geographer - January 20, 2010 3:12 PM
I'm with GW on this one. Even if we can't get it into space (which with some stuff out of mom's kitchen is TOTALLY possible), this is a HUGE step-up from the Refrigerator Box Space Fort I have in my backyard! I got $18.64! I'm in! Let me go grab my plastic bucket helmet and Lego space crew!!!
21. cabbo - January 20, 2010 6:21 PM
OMG WE NEED TO GET A POOL GOING HERE.
Well, I don't have a credit card, so I can't pay anything. But hey, we could easily raise the money. Only £17.7 mil? Pfft, child's play.
Oh, that's an idea! Start a children's play centre organization! Rake in the cash!
22. cabbo - January 20, 2010 6:24 PM
@4 Higher even than the moon!
TO THE CENTRE OF THE SUN!
@5, Kind of obvious when you try to steal someone's reputation. Hell, even if you'd had a link, I'd still be calling 'Fake Naas'. You're too... well... shit, really.
23. footclan - January 20, 2010 8:00 PM
Nothing like space docking!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=space-docking
24. footclan - January 20, 2010 8:01 PM
Nothing like space docking!
[url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=space-docking]http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=space-docking[/url]
25. Qazzy - January 21, 2010 1:33 AM
GW you can plunder my anus any day... I mean... wait... Forget I said that...
26. Ken Goldstein Esq. - January 21, 2010 2:10 PM
I hope this brothel you speak of has the correct state license?
27. alioth - January 21, 2010 2:33 PM
I call shotgun!
28. Elwood Moose - January 21, 2010 4:23 PM
Here's the plan... if we ALL donate one dollar ($1 USD) to GW, we can pay him back for all these years of top notch research and crack jopurnalism he has given to US all this time.
I mean, I don;llt even bother clicking aby sidebar ads, to get him a lousy $0.42 per click.
But I would hell ya doate a dollar if it meant some one I know (sorta) gets to own a godamnned spaceship.
One dollar.
If we all did it.. I'm sure we could scrounge up 30 million of us.