Jan 29 2010Perfectly Accurate: How To Report The News
NOTE: F-bomb at 0:24 so turn down the volume there but still listen cause it's funny.
This is a news report on how to report the news. It's 100% accurate and will blow your mind wide open like a knowledge bomb just went off inside your skull. Which -- are you getting all this, Jigsaw? Just sayin', one time I trapped my little sister under a laundry basket for nearly an hour.
Thanks to Dustin, who knows no news is good news unless it's on Geekologie.
Related Stories
Tons Of Pews!: Girls Are Bad At Sound Effects (01/15/2010)
Yo-Yo "Master" Dupes Local News Stations (05/11/2010)
Star Wars 'Force' Toy Hacked To Shock You (03/05/2010)
Amazing: Hot Water Under A Fake Floor Prank (01/04/2010)
Best Commercial Ever: Tequila-Bot Is A Jerk (01/03/2010)
Reader Comments
1. Closet Nerd - January 29, 2010 12:50 PM
"Keep pluckin that chicken"
2. Tom - January 29, 2010 12:50 PM
Saw that last week on TV . Brooker is brilliant.
3. Closet Nerd - January 29, 2010 12:52 PM
(the video clip to go with the "Keep pluckin that chicken" comment)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdnXYWSa56w
4. Cinema Obsessed - January 29, 2010 12:53 PM
Loved this! I can't watch the news without giving running commentary about how stupid they present it, so it was nice to see a good news-spoof.
5. Closet Nerd - January 29, 2010 12:55 PM
Oh yeah GW.... well I once trapped my wife under the sheets for an hour..... dutch oven baby..... just sayin
6. Pat - January 29, 2010 12:58 PM
The analysis was delivered in a British accent. Naturally, I believe everything that was said.
7. Ch4p3l - January 29, 2010 1:04 PM
@6 I hate the English but also agree. Probably why I hate them...
8. Lord Ponsonby Smythe - January 29, 2010 1:09 PM
@7 My word! Steady on old chap.
9. The F'n Jem'Hadar - January 29, 2010 1:09 PM
Goddman it. Why couldn't I have had this on hand during my Culture and television course?
10. Fealiks - January 29, 2010 1:10 PM
Charlie Brooker is fucking amazing.
Are news reports similar to this in the US? Because this is fucking EXACTLY what british ones are like.
11. Lyndon - January 29, 2010 1:11 PM
i saw this on tv when it was broadcast, and especially the lasers beheading a man part. made me think of geekologie.
12. Closet Nerd - January 29, 2010 1:19 PM
@10 Pretty much the same over here on this side of the pond, except that there is no swearing because of uptight conservative douche bags.
13. Conservative Douche Bag - January 29, 2010 1:24 PM
I am not uptight! Darn you! Darn you all to Heck!!!
14. DH - January 29, 2010 1:30 PM
LMFAO. this is the way broadcasters are taught to do a report ALL over the globe. HILARIOUS.
15. LSDiesel - January 29, 2010 1:34 PM
I just saw this yesterday. Gotta appreciate british humor.
16. meowmo - January 29, 2010 1:47 PM
this is my favorite kind of bullshit. yay!
17. cabbo - January 29, 2010 2:06 PM
Charlie Brooker is Gawdness. Also, Armando Ianucci. Or whatever his name is. I didn't know there was a new series of newswipe. I am most pleased.
I'm doing a gig tonight so's I am.
18. K17 - January 29, 2010 2:13 PM
Win.
19. henree - January 29, 2010 2:40 PM
nice. it was so casual.
20. FunkyNutbar - January 29, 2010 3:31 PM
Charlie Brooker also did a show called GamesWipe, swatch on YouTube for it.
21. mike - January 29, 2010 3:40 PM
thats not how it goes when i type in "newscaster meltdown" on youtube...
22. cochrane - January 29, 2010 4:30 PM
the best thing charlie brooker ever did was tvgohome. google it, people. you'll shit JAM reading it.
also, check out nathan barley.
23. vaughan - January 29, 2010 4:42 PM
charlie has also wrote a couple of books. he did a programme called screenwipe about tv. check out the screenwipe U.S.A. special
24. zaznz - January 29, 2010 5:25 PM
Brooker FTW
25. Mr Smith - January 29, 2010 7:22 PM
The full show is very entertaining.
26. mighty twix - January 29, 2010 7:39 PM
That was fricken brilliamt
27. Mac - January 29, 2010 7:46 PM
Pointless. Not funny or intriguing.
28. atheistgirl - January 29, 2010 8:59 PM
@ 27 As are you.
29. 2muchfreetime2day - January 29, 2010 9:36 PM
Fucking Brilliant BBC.. that was awesome!
30. cabbo - January 30, 2010 12:27 PM
@27 I guarantee that if you saw anything else by him that was related to a subject you had more interest in, you'd have bowel malfunctions from laughing. Try Gameswipe.
31. Gemma - January 30, 2010 4:08 PM
Charlie Brooker FTW!
32. Beautiful but bitter. - January 30, 2010 11:30 PM
Awesomeness.
33. TR - February 1, 2010 3:46 AM
To the person who said about "British humor" ... it's not British humour, it's just humour!
34. azzy - February 1, 2010 1:23 PM
^
who cares?
35. jaime - February 1, 2010 2:45 PM
so funny and true!
36. the boss - February 1, 2010 5:59 PM
33@ yeah its just humor...but done by someone British
37. 642-892 - February 2, 2010 8:25 PM
all human die!
38. Ian Aspin - February 4, 2010 6:21 AM
Having worked as a TV news reporter I found Charlie's piece very amusing - some of us have long believed reporting like this is a rubbish way to do things!
But even if a journalist wants to tell stories in a more authentic and engaging way, the constraints of the so-called "house style" in many news organisations make it difficult to achieve.
What's needed is a massive culture shift and a complete re-think of what we understand quality broadcast news reporting is.
And guess what? That's exactly what's happening, though you'd never believe it from what we're still mostly seeing on TV.
Anyway, the new digital technologies, and shake up of "old school/old mainstream" journalism means new platforms and styles of "news" storytelling can now emerge.
Let's hope fresh and appropriate ways of funding appear too, so we can kill off this dreadful formulaic reporting and delivery, and clear the way for more natural and interesting ways to treat stories and content.
Much love,
Ian Aspin. www.twitter.com/ianaspin