In Time For Valentine's: Rose Plays Recorded Message For That (Not So) Special Someone

Looking for that perfect Valentine's gift that says, well, whatever the hell you chose to pre-record? Well you're in luck, thanks to the $6 'Red Recording Rose'! And, if there's one thing I know about women, it's how much they love plastic novelty roses that talk when you push a button.

Record your own personal message for that special person, and she/he can enjoy the sound of your voice while admiring their rose. Each rose comes with a built in voice recorder, which allows you to personalise it with a 10 second message which plays back via the built in speaker.

First hear the recordings, and then it will automatically play love songs(Equipped with three classic love songs).

Note: If you think one red rose can not share how much you care her, then we suggest you to buy one more. There will be more discount if you buy more. As we know love is priceless.

How romantic. Couple the rose with a couple Beanie Babies and you'll be making sweet, sweet Valentine's love to yourself faster than you can say, "But don't you want to stay for dinner? Pork chop sandwiches!"

Product Site

Thanks to alfred, who probably won't send me press releases about his products anymore. Just kidding, he totally will.

• I Smell A New Cologne!: Nasal Spray That Increases Women's Arousal Ready For Clinical Testing

  November 5, 2012

  In a recent survey, 9 out of 10 women agreed, I'm not attractive. The other woman was my mom. Enter Tefina, a new drug that may increase a woman's libido and which I will probably utilize to develop a new cologne that makes me irresistible to the ladies (and hopefully not wol... / Continue →
• The Game of Love: Tetris Heart Tattoos

  April 18, 2011

  Note: Larger version HERE in case you're determined to count how many individual blocks make up each heart (SPOILER: 95. I counted -- twice). Seen here looking suspiciously veinless (VAMPIRES!) two lovas show off their matching Tetris tattoos as a sign of...something. Love ... / Continue →
• Dating Site Matches Couples That Look Alike

  March 7, 2011

  You know how they say that couples that are together for a long time start to look like one another? I know, I thought that was an old wive's tale too (old wives talk about the craziest shit!). Anyway, with this concept in mind, an upcoming online dating service (findyourfac... / Continue →