Jan 1 2010I'm Gonna Start Using Blood: HP Printer Ink

Lolwut?

And first. (Maybe)

So this is why I always feel raped whenever I print a spreadsheet. Damn you, HP.

Now I feel bad for fucking up all those orders when I worked as a copy centre girl in Staples.

Except not really, because I hated that job.

Or I could just buy tons of vodka, get wasted, and then my hallucinations would appear on the paper so i dont need ink. That sounds much more fun, and less expensive.

its a conspiracy man! they are out to get us!

if your enemies are your coworkers, do you still earn their respect?

this thing is older than the crust in my grandmothers panties...thanks for the memories geekologie...great nostalgic post...

This is why I print with urine.

... why does my printer smell funny

period blood with red bull.

Plottwist: printer companies sell died orphan blood to you.

That works out to $2650 per gallon of black ink (rounding to the nearest whole dollar of course).

If you change "Lief" (which sounds like a German chain of supermarkets) to "Leif" (an actual viking name) the joke works better. ;)

Yay, GW published one of my tips. btw, http://i46.tinypic.com/2hhqhrs.png
I lol'd.

@GW - you swore!!

What happened to the whole "no swearing" pish?!

Timmy the mail boy is going down. He's counter-cost-productive. Sorry, Timmy.

@11
That’s almost as expensive as petrol here in Britain.

Commenting on this before Darkness does.

@7 I should hope it's older than the crust on her panties, you're supposed to change those everyday. Props for examining your grannie's delicates, though.

But my enemies' blood IS HP printer ink! GOD DAMN YOU THE NOVELS OF DAN BROWN!

No absinthe on the list? @4 won't be hallucinating on any other kind of booze. Unless...

New Recipe For The Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster:

5 tabs Acid,
1 dried, powdered magic mushroom,
1 teaspoonful peyote cactus juice,
3 shots Vodka,
1 bottle beer.

Well, the beer could be anything. The vodka's just there for a bit of kick. If you want to use, maybe, some poof juice (like WKD etc.) or even some pansy soda, then it won't make too much difference. All I know is that this is on hell of a drug!

Oh, put in shaker with 2 crushed ice cubes, shake until the shaker frosts, then add the beer/poofjuice/soda, then gently stir.

.

The more expensive liquid would be flea medication for pets. A few tiny containers of liquid can be $60-100.

This chart was only created to make us feel like we're getting a good deal for gas.

Its worth it

That's $2750.00 a gallon.

But human blood costs more than loadsss. This is good news for the robot attack. They wont be able to afford our blood and will have to resort to drinking crude oil or something :D

Hey, I like this!

i print with unicorn blood and lsd. it made sauron obey me. yeah sauron paint my left toenails too. in rainbow man.

Hey all, HP employee here. There have been a lot of interesting alternatives to HP ink suggested in these comments, but unfortunately, HP does not support printing with the blood of dragons or unicorns.

The Geekologie crowd might be interested to know that each time you hit print, microscopic droplets of ink are jetted by a superheated vapor bubble through hundreds of nozzles, about one-third the width of a human hair, at roughly 31 miles per hour and up to 36,000 times each second…per nozzle.

Ink is also highly complex – it has to be chemically compatible with every part of the printer, cartridge and paper. It can take up to 1,000 prototypes over three to five years to perfect a new formulation.

When you think about what you are putting these cartridges through every time you use your printer, and then what you get out of each cartridge – simply put, HP ink is worth it.

A suitable plan would be to sell your blood weekly which would allow you to buy half the volume you sold in blood, in ink, which would be quite a lot for some people.