Dec 2 2009ZOMG!: The Most Amazing Beard Of All Time
This is a video from the 1991 National Beard and Mustache Championship in Tacoma, Washington featuring THE MOST AMAZING BEARD THIS EYE HAS EVER SEEN (stupid Red Ryder BB Gun). Watch and prepare to be breathtaken (wizardry!). Then, watch me pull my thumb back all the way. Impressed? I thought you might be -- I'm not really double jointed. To the hospital!
Thanks to NinjaMuffin, who once grew an aquarium beard and kept real fish in it and everything.
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Reader Comments
1. naas - December 2, 2009 11:59 AM
I liked the superhero beards better... just sayin MLIG
2. Dr.Beardo - December 2, 2009 12:00 PM
As an expert on beards....SWEET
3. naas - December 2, 2009 12:01 PM
...alright the 'beadcage' is impressive buuut will it get you laid EVER? I think not... just sayin
MLIG
4. matt-zilla - December 2, 2009 12:07 PM
i came so hard when he opened the beard door
where do i get tickets to next years?!!!
5. Katie - December 2, 2009 12:07 PM
TOP 10!
6. Rob - December 2, 2009 12:08 PM
WITH WORKING DOOR!!!!! OMFG!!!!
I can't even keep mine symmetrical.
7. Mr.Pube - December 2, 2009 12:12 PM
Yawn......I once did the same exact thing with my pubes....
8. Party Kid 3000 (aka Hannukah Montana) - December 2, 2009 12:16 PM
Looks like my uncle got out from the asylum.
9. naas - December 2, 2009 12:18 PM
@8 PK3K where have you been?
10. Blastphemer - December 2, 2009 12:23 PM
Beats the shit out of that infinite beard guy.
Still...would've been a lot cooler if it had been a great white in there.
11. Closet Nerd - December 2, 2009 12:23 PM
@3 who needs to get laid, when you can just stick your penis in your very own beard bird cage?!
And the guys who can be heard yelling in the video, sound just a little too excited.... maybe the bird cage beard guy will get laid after all.... just sayin MLIG
12. naas - December 2, 2009 12:27 PM
@11 hrmm you make a damn good point, a good point indeed.... just sayin
MLIG
13. Whiskey - December 2, 2009 12:34 PM
@3 He probably hasn't gotten laid since he started growing that thing, I'm sure he's used to "cleanin the pipes" solo by now...how do you think he got his beard to stick like that.
14. Whiskey - December 2, 2009 12:34 PM
@3 He probably hasn't gotten laid since he started growing that thing, I'm sure he's used to "cleanin the pipes" solo by now...how do you think he got his beard to stick like that.
MLIG
15. rick - December 2, 2009 12:35 PM
i thought this was real for a second....but saw who posted it, and realized there was no competition in 91
16. naas - December 2, 2009 12:38 PM
hahahaha
MLIG
17. jeff - December 2, 2009 12:56 PM
don't forget to shampoo beards, they get stinky with sweat and spilled soup
18. Party Kid 3000 (aka Hannukah Montana) - December 2, 2009 1:00 PM
@naas
Hey buddy! I've been here the whole time. My PC comes and go all the time, you have no idea. I'm tired of this shit. I share it with my grandma btw. She likes googling different breeds of cattles.
19. Jazzman - December 2, 2009 1:15 PM
Kinda reminds me of GW's wife's wet spot!!!
20. Mike - December 2, 2009 1:31 PM
@13....he said it so nice he said it twice.
21. Kat - December 2, 2009 1:48 PM
I'm pretty sure that's my old chemistry teacher...
22. YES - December 2, 2009 1:51 PM
Am I the only one who got the Chrismas Story reference?
Almost time to watch it again...
...for 24 hours...
23. Warren Piece - December 2, 2009 2:04 PM
In 3 days time we'll find out which personal grooming company came up with this guerilla/viral marketing campaign. Well produced though.
24. Mike - December 2, 2009 2:07 PM
@15 yea definitely fake hahah. too bad
25. DH - December 2, 2009 2:31 PM
pfff i did the same thing, only i built a house with working door, windows, oven, and microwave. That's right.
hear the people in the audience flip shit when he walks out XD they go hysterical when he opens the beardoor.
26. jojo - December 2, 2009 2:57 PM
@22: I got it too. Best christmas movie ever!
27. los - December 2, 2009 3:03 PM
my beards penis just shrunk 10 inches
28. Jazzman - December 2, 2009 3:08 PM
LOL @ 27 Dos Eques worty
29. kyle - December 2, 2009 3:29 PM
That was amazing
ly bad.
30. Deathwish Dena - December 2, 2009 3:39 PM
SO not REAL. but every bit ASTONISHING and Disgusting
31. Maine - December 2, 2009 4:53 PM
I live in Tacoma, never seen that guy...
32. Vincent - December 2, 2009 5:17 PM
Fake? The first beard guy looks suspiciously like Rivers Cuomo from Weezer.
33. Jas - December 2, 2009 5:29 PM
Very cool. Actually, I really enjoyed the first guy showing off his beard Vanna White style.
MILG
34. Mr. Anderson - December 2, 2009 6:30 PM
Listen to those beardfags getting all excited...
35. Jessica - December 2, 2009 7:03 PM
Fake! This is actually a sketch done by the Groundlings, an improv/sketch troupe in Los Angeles. I recognize the stage and some of the actors. It was written as a half rip on the first bearded fellow who still wears an amazing set of whiskers.
36. cheap paul smith - December 2, 2009 7:18 PM
http://www.newpaulsmith.com/paul-smith-shoes-c-518.html
37. Berzerker - December 2, 2009 10:18 PM
what a huge waste of time
38. Apeman505 - December 2, 2009 11:26 PM
I need to stop shaving. Now.
39. poop - December 3, 2009 12:50 AM
Loved it when they showed this on AOTS. Olivia makes beards sexy.
40. mayhem - December 3, 2009 7:33 AM
OF COURSE ITS IN TACOMA! LOL i take back saying tacoma is worthless...
41. kEVEERRROONNOOO - December 3, 2009 9:19 PM
I am the current 2009 new york city beard and mustache champion for patchy beard contest. True story.
42. Robothinkyoukindance - December 3, 2009 9:42 PM
Those people are LOVING this, I mean, you go to literally thousands of beard competitions a year hoping to glimpse something so rare and beautiful.
43. 7L - December 4, 2009 10:59 PM
WhoOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YeaH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
________________________________________go die.
44. bet770 - February 26, 2010 6:47 AM
I love him !!! so great !!!
45. chat - March 6, 2010 6:50 PM
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful information with us