Apparently you hang your stockings from a DVD rack if you don't have a fireplace. Good to know. But don't go hanging a red one, you won't make it to Christmas! YOU GONNA DIE! But, for those of you that like to throw caution into the wind and piss in the dark, Craftster member Ilia has the pattern to make your very own Star Trek stockings. And don't even THINK about filling mine with reindeer shit again this year, Santa. I'm serious -- one more Rudolph patty and you're a dead man. Then I'm pillaging the North Pole and kicking those little elves around like footballs before making them develop new toys for me. I guess what I'm getting at is this: I'VE BEEN SO GOOD THIS YEAR.