Dec 30 2009Russia To Blow Up Earth-Bound Asteroid
Okay so maybe the asteroid isn't actually earth bound, but it could be. You see, nobody can agree on how serious a threat the rock poses. I say laser the shit out of it. Then laser all the little pieces. Then blast me in the eyes. If I can't see the end of the world I don't wanna see anything!
Russia's space agency chief said Wednesday a spacecraft may be dispatched to knock a large asteroid off course and reduce the chances of earth impact, even though U.S. scientists say such a scenario is unlikely.
When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated its chances of smashing into Earth in its first flyby, in 2029, at 1-in-37.Further studies have ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) from Earth's surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters.
NASA had put the chances that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 as 1-in-45,000. In October, after researchers recalculated the asteroid's path, the agency changed its estimate to 1-in-250,000.
What is this, football? Why do the odds keep changing? Because this shit's all fun and games until the day the asteroid's supposed to hit and the odds drop to 1-in-0.5. Then what? We all bone till we burn up, that's what. *high-five* Going out like the dinosaurs!
Russia may send spacecraft to knock away asteroid [yahoonews]
Reader Comments
1. Me - December 30, 2009 2:59 PM
Well there go my d-day plans
2. FDSY - December 30, 2009 3:06 PM
BONE UNTIL WE BURN
BONE UNTIL WE BBBBUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
3. Closet Nerd - December 30, 2009 3:12 PM
Burn some bones.... drizz bones!
4. Asperflux - December 30, 2009 3:12 PM
Long live the robots.
5. cubicleboy04 - December 30, 2009 3:17 PM
I can't wait to be fossilized!
6. LSDiesel - December 30, 2009 3:18 PM
Leave it to the Russians to want to blow some shit up that poses no threat. I would've expected this from the Middle East, but Russia? I thought you guys were cooler than that.
Actually, no I didn't.
7. naas - December 30, 2009 3:26 PM
In mother Russia, asteroid blows up YOU
8. Closet Nerd - December 30, 2009 3:29 PM
In Episode V, asteriods destroy Imperial Cruisers...... just sayin
Sorry, I got Star Wars on the brain.... watching Blue Harvest & Something, Something, Something Dark Side tonight
9. LSDiesel - December 30, 2009 3:31 PM
@8, Episode V is arguably the best movie in the entire saga.
10. Hugo - December 30, 2009 3:34 PM
What the Russians should do is fly into space and shoot it, then shoot the smaller asteroids that come off that, and then the littler ones that come off that and so on until no more come off. Then the cosmonaut (RUSSIANS) should hang himself in no-gravity so he dies at the height of his awesomeness.
11. Dishy Dishyington - December 30, 2009 3:38 PM
The danger is they'll nudge it just enough so instead of missing in 2029 it hits.
12. Closet Nerd - December 30, 2009 3:39 PM
@9 Don't know if I liked IV or V better. I guess i'll just have to watch them again....
And jeezy creezy, C3PO is sooooooooo annoying..... and I know JarJar Binks is probably the most hated character, so I'm scared to see just how annoying he really is, if he is apparently more annoying than that gay C3PO
13. Rer - December 30, 2009 3:40 PM
No problem folks, I just got off of the phone with Bruce Willis and Ben afflect, we are safe.
14. Closet Nerd - December 30, 2009 3:40 PM
LSD, did you see this stop motion animation about Eddie's bit on toasters?
I posted it yesterday in the toaster post.
http://www.geekologie.com/2009/12/watch_your_bread_brown_a_seeth.php#comment-185876
15. Dishy Dishyington - December 30, 2009 3:44 PM
@12, meesa hate da stoopid Ewoks more than JarJar.
16. AaronZZZ - December 30, 2009 4:37 PM
The one thing russia is good at is fucking things up..... So this is just a mistake in the making.... WAY TO GO RUSSIA!!!
17. arakuto - December 30, 2009 6:07 PM
old picture...saw it on the interwebz eons ago...EONS! and this is an easy photoshop job...
18. designer handbag - December 30, 2009 10:10 PM
oh,nooooooooo,it is no really
19. Hedgehog - December 31, 2009 12:12 AM
Methinks the russian space agency is creating a false threat to get a bigger budget.
Just like nassa and the space bacteria years ago.
Cool pic, wonder what that astronaut must be thinking: WTF!!!.
20. VaCa - December 31, 2009 12:22 AM
they are wrong maaan! its gonna happen in 2012 maaan! when everything is gonna be game over maaan! game over!!
21. ciao - December 31, 2009 2:30 AM
methods of reducing asteroid hit chances:
• throw a bigger rock at it
• big lazer
• dd bomb
• fireworks
22. CRNI ILKO - December 31, 2009 2:56 AM
Chuck Norris will handle that!!! He is going to kick ass to all Russian and asteroids!!! Chucky rules!!!!!!!!!
23. Jaded Icon - December 31, 2009 8:21 AM
Russians: Ah so, we are going to blow up this asteroid and be the heroes of the world.
Americans: Really? But it's not very likely that it will even hit us.
Russians: But there's still a chance right? *loads rocket with nuclear war heads*
Americans: But there isn't that much of a chance, besides all your space stations and rockets are terribly made. Their practically made of cardboard.
Russians: Uh, there's no need to be insulting. Besides, I'm sure you'll get a bang out of this. Hehehe. *pulls out remote device*
Americans: Why did you just make a terrible pun and laugh like a James Bond villain?
Russians: Time to die America! *presses button*
Americans: Oh noes!!!
And that is how the world will end thanks to that goddamn asteroid.....
24. EZ - December 31, 2009 10:09 AM
OLD! This astroid already hit the earth 2 billion years ago, jut sayin'
25. ObamaPacman - December 31, 2009 10:52 AM
Pew pew, I'm firing mah lazor!
26. D@m!/ - December 31, 2009 1:24 PM
wow 2012 hasnt happend yet and we are making up a new d day date in 2029 nothing is gonna happen and if there is an astroid the by 29 im sure that we will have way greater technology to survive. duh! lol
27. mud - December 31, 2009 4:06 PM
GW you shouldn't be sharing our special moments with the rest of the net. You said it was just between us when I blasted you in the eye with my sperm laser.
28. Nate - December 31, 2009 10:49 PM
Well, if history has taught us anything, it's that the Russian are the only one that really went to space.
29. dsi r4 - January 1, 2010 12:35 AM
Hi Guy's,
they are wrong maaan! its gonna happen in 2012 maaan! when everything is gonna be game over maaan! game over!!
30. Beastman AIDS - January 4, 2010 5:52 PM
WTF - who took that pic? When did that happen?
31. Ickorus - January 26, 2010 12:56 PM
Trust Russia to come up with the simplest, most inelegant and beautifully effective plan.
32. rack - March 9, 2010 1:21 AM
thanks for your sharing