Dec 8 2009Iffy: Operation Allows 'High Definition' Vision
So allegedly there's a new eye surgery that allows patients to achieve 'HD vision'. Weird, I thought all vision was high definition. But what the hell do I know? I'm no ophthalmologist, I'm just a guy that spiced up an ordinarily boring eyeball graphic with LASER VISION!!!
Surgeons begin the process by implanting the lens into the eye using the standard procedure for cataracts.
The lens is made from a special light-sensitive silicone. By shining ultraviolet light on specific parts of the lens, surgeons can change its shape and curvature, sharpening the image seen by the patient.The lens can be adjusted several times over a period of days until patients have perfect vision. A final blast of light then permanently fixes the lenses' shape.
The technique gives patients vision so sharp that it is even better than 20/20 - the best an adult can usually hope for.
Oh really? 20/20 is the best an adult can usually hope for? THEN WHY IS THIS ADULT HOPING FOR -20/20 PLUS BONUS LASER VISION!!!? Did I mention x-ray? Because I'm hoping for that too. Also, vision that cures cancer and makes me fly. Remember folks: hope for the moon. Even if NASA denies you astronaut status you can still go to Space Camp.
Op Lets People Upgrade Their Eyes To HD [yahoonews]
Thanks to And Not Adam Parry, who is apparently is some sort of competition to send me the most tips possible.
Reader Comments
1. Jehm - December 8, 2009 1:16 PM
FIRSTIEEES!
(sorry)
2. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 1:19 PM
@1 http://de.acidcow.com/pics/20091116/gif_04.gif
I want eyes that let me ZOOM and you should be able to take pictures just by blinking.... just sayin
3. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:20 PM
@1 You will be.
I had this same Idea years ago. Of course, when I did it, the plan was to remove the eye altogether and put in a robotic one. That actually fires lasers. So basically the same idea, but backwards. It worked, but I am horribly scarred. They call me 'the pervert' because I added X-Ray vision.
4. And - December 8, 2009 1:21 PM
3 - 1
5. LSDiesel - December 8, 2009 1:23 PM
But will it let me change channels...?
6. I-Kill-Bambi's - December 8, 2009 1:23 PM
pew pew...just sayin
7. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:27 PM
Wait, so this is all well and good, but can we percieve the higher quality? Um, is this fake?
8. Brrrrian - December 8, 2009 1:27 PM
Until they invent eye attachments that allow you to see in to the future, I'm not interested.
9. naas - December 8, 2009 1:27 PM
Nice, I'd do it. Laserbeaming the shit outta something when the right time calls for it is how I roll... just sayin
10. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:27 PM
Que Daisy.
11. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 1:29 PM
@9 Speaking of how you roll....you could probably also use the laserbeams to spark up too..... just sayin
12. Blastphemer - December 8, 2009 1:30 PM
I'm with you on this one GW...if they're comparing actual vision to even the best HD quality, I'll take regular old fashioned vision.
Not sure I'd want someone tinkering around with my orbs for some sort of "enhancement"...the downside would seem to be a bit of a bitch.
All I want is for them to figure out a way to help me remember where I left my keys and/or the remote...it's an ongoing struggle.
13. naas - December 8, 2009 1:32 PM
@11 I use a lightsaber for that my friend, laserbeaming a glass bowl will drop the ceiling above me pretty quick when I tilt my head to the side like we all do... know what I mean?
14. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 1:36 PM
@13 I'm pickin up what you're puttin down.... just sayin
15. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:40 PM
Speaking of lids, how do they protect your eyelids? Or do they just assume that no amount of dust will ever touch your eye without getting blasted off?
16. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 1:41 PM
@15 speaking of eye lids... did you know that dogs (and I think alligators) have 3 eye lids?
17. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:44 PM
I knew dogs do. My friend has quite an old (an stinking) one (called millie) whos eyes look like they are falling off because of some wierd thing where her frontal lids (or whatever the technical term is) droop down. She constantly looks sad. I think it's because she smells so bad.
18. cabbo - December 8, 2009 1:45 PM
Is it three pairs? I though it was just two.
19. chris - December 8, 2009 1:54 PM
i alredy have better than 20/20 its like 10/20 or 20/10 idk but i want to have egal eyes so give me tat lzer
20. naas - December 8, 2009 1:55 PM
@19 you should really finish school first
21. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 2:03 PM
@17 Too bad you don't live in the Philly area (I assume)... you'd be able to use my mom's shop http://www.barbsbatheyourpet.com/
I'm next to positive that they have 3 eyelids. The third is actually a clear eyelid that covers their eye completely when the two main eyelids are open....
22. Closet Nerd - December 8, 2009 2:10 PM
D'Angelo: "Those Dreaming Eyes" (Jay Dee Remix of course)....
Put that song on for your girl... then *SPLASH*... panty soup!
23. Deetz - December 8, 2009 2:13 PM
but can they play Crysis?
24. SmsVar, Sms Gönder, Toplu Sms - December 8, 2009 2:28 PM
laser bad..
eyes very good.. blue eyes..
25. Dishy Dishyington - December 8, 2009 2:37 PM
I've got three eye lids. One for each eye.
26. Matt-Zilla - December 8, 2009 2:44 PM
awww man
when i saw the graphic i was hoping for eyes that could pew pew!!!
not eyes getting pew pew'd
27. wes - December 8, 2009 3:07 PM
umm failing to see how this is HD vision
28. Daisy - December 8, 2009 5:01 PM
FAKE!!!!
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadows are all wrong.
This is a lot like the scene in the movie Never Back Down where Max tried to pay for a traffic cam speeding ticket with a picture of money.
29. Leonidas - December 8, 2009 8:57 PM
No, #19 is right. 20/20 is definitely not "the best an adult can usually hope for." In fact, it's below average for normally-sighted people. 15/20 is average, and 10/20 is considered perfect for all practical purposes (anything below 40/20 and you need an endorsement on your driver's license).
30. Jaded Icon - December 9, 2009 7:47 AM
@ 14
Don't bogart it man! One toke then pass......
BTW:.......anyone have chips?....
31. Neil - December 9, 2009 8:04 AM
I'm so underwhelmed.
At least his mummy will know that due to YouTube all those years of lessons weren't wasted.
32. SmsVar, Sms Gönder, Toplu Sms - December 11, 2009 3:41 PM
BTW:.......anyone have chips?....
33. CCNA - January 21, 2010 12:59 AM
This is an obvious photoshop job. You can tell its a fake because the shadows are all wrong.