Dec 31 2009Amazing Scientific Discoveries Of 2009
According to Fox News, arguably the hardest hitting news organization besides Geekologie and any other news organization, these are the most obvious scientific discoveries of 2009. They are (in no particular order):
*High Heels Lead to Foot Pain (And Extra Height)
*Men Much More Interested Than Women in Casual Sex (And Monster Trucks)
*Eating Lots of Red Meat and Processed Meat Is Bad for You (But Delicious)
*Kids' TV Is Full of Ads for High-Fat and High-Sugar Foods (Plus Tampons)
*Children Are Affected When a Parent Suffers From Depression (Or Stroke)
*Coed Dorms Fuel Sex and Drinking (Not Video Games?!)
*Sweets Taste Better When You're High (YES THEY DO!)
*G-Rated Children's Films Are Very Straight (X-Rated Adult Films Can Still Be Very Gay)
Geez, what's the matter with scientists these days? Sure we could be trying to cure cancer or making reliable time machines, but instead scientists are busy getting high, watching Disney films and trying to get experiment participants to sleep with them. That's pretty low (teach me everything you know).
No Duh! The Most Obvious Scientific Discoveries of 2009 [foxnews]
Thanks to Jed, who discovered beef jerky in 2009 and has been loving it all year long.
Reader Comments
1. hahaha - December 31, 2009 1:24 PM
first
2. Poopyface - December 31, 2009 1:24 PM
fail?
3. Poopyface - December 31, 2009 1:24 PM
Fail.... :(
4. Tennist0 - December 31, 2009 1:34 PM
fox fail
5. Dishy Dishyington - December 31, 2009 1:47 PM
Tribute to Gay in Kid films (no mention of c3po):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk6bAtUahrc
6. Deetz - December 31, 2009 1:50 PM
Fox is a fail, just without doing anything they are fail.
7. Jiakasuma - December 31, 2009 1:51 PM
Fox news >.>
8. Samir and Micheal - December 31, 2009 3:37 PM
When I see more than half of the news channels give Ahmadinejad an interview, I say all news is fucked, except, of course, Geekologie
9. Yep - December 31, 2009 3:47 PM
lol brought to you by FOX where Science is a fore letter word.
" We will lie you will buy."
10. Kage-Judge - December 31, 2009 4:18 PM
Wow Fox News; just wow. 2009 actually did have some really cool scientific advances, but then again science is bad - right, right-wing Fox News?
11. Whiskey - December 31, 2009 4:19 PM
Fox can suck it, sideways.
In all seriousness,
-coed dorms FTW
-high heels FTW, especially in bed
-MEAT
-Sad fat kids, FTL
-Sex weed and candy....better than coed dorms, meat and high heels combined
Mix all the above, and you got yourself an epic, and somewhat concerning X-rated film.
12. VaCa - December 31, 2009 5:01 PM
these are the best discoveries! keep it up scientists! i had no idea that kid shows have ads about kid stuff! you guys blow my freakin mind!!
13. Brent - December 31, 2009 10:44 PM
that's awesome, i just watched all 3 BTTF in the last 2 days
14. lingerie wholesale - January 3, 2010 11:13 AM
welcome you to choose
15. ashley - January 4, 2010 10:02 AM
Actually, it is not a Fox News fail. If you actually look at Fox's title for the article, you can see that they knew that they were obvious discoveries and that they were actually making a joke at it.
No Duh! The Most Obvious Scientific Discoveries of 2009 [foxnews]
People who blindly follow anti-Fox propaganda are just as pathetic as those who follow the BS that is on Fox the rest of the time.