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December 6, 2009 - December 12, 2009 Archives

  • December 12, 2009
    Paul Hazelton collects dust and then shapes it into things and calls it art. Me? I vacuum it up LIKE A NORMAL GOTDAMN PERSON. I swear, whatever happened to chiseling marble? 'I think it all has something to do with the fact that I was brought up in an immaculate environment... / Continue →
  • December 12, 2009
    This has been floating around for a little while but I figured I'd go ahead and post it before it got any older because then I'd get even more hate mail than I'm already going to (you people are vicious!) but you know what? I'm cool with that. Because as my mom taught me grow... / Continue →
  • December 12, 2009
    You ever wanted a homemade Pokemon hat that looks like you're favorite character? Well you're in luck, provided your favorite character is, uh, Dildohead or X-wings Ears, or, uh, shit you got me. These fleece hats are handmade made by craft-person Dimbarion and range in price... / Continue →
  • December 12, 2009
    This is a skillfully edited video that packs 50 movie trailers into a scant 3:50. What movies you ask? Let me copy/paste that information for you! Included in the video are: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, The Lightning Thief, Babylon A.D., Knowing, Sherlock Holmes, Death Ra... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    I have no idea if Star Trek is actually a religion but I say yes and from now on you will too or I will punch you so hard you bruise before I even make First Contact. See what I did there? I'm so wicked. Anyway, this is a Star Trek themed LED menorah. Sacrilegious or not? ... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    Samus Aren, arguably the sexiest thing with a cannon for an arm (toss up between Mega Man), is looking good here on what may or may not be the bathrooms in the rear of a gas station (it's actually an art store). Created by artist Allen Hampton, you can tell she's about to PEW ... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    Sure it's mostly sausage in the case but I'm a word wizard and sausagecase doesn't even qualify as apprentice level word magic. Now sausage casing maybe... Anyway, this case holds 19 different types of sausage and, admit it, the key to your heart. Well, at least the key to s... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    Apparently a man who's too stupid to realize nobody ever wins anything with those "go to a website and enter the code under your cap" deals (you haven't, don't lie) was offended when the randomly-generated security code at the Coca-Cola website read "U F**KR". Warehouse manage... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    Rear Gear Butt Covers ("No more Mr. Brown Eye" -- not even kidding) are little $5 cardboard cutouts that hang from your pet's tail and cover its butthole. Jesus Christ. Is your pet feeling left in the dirt because of his/her unsightly rear? I've got them covered... Rear Gear ... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    Remember the video of the Muppets performing Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' from a few weeks ago? Well those crazy hand-up-their ass plushies are back at it, this time with the holiday classic 'Ringing of the Bells'. And speaking of ringing bells: There was a fugitive who sough... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    IMAGE REMOVED Who cares about the Death Star, check out those sheep. Baaaaa! hoshq's deviantART (nude shots available if you're a deviantART member) Thanks to TurboRingtail, who swings from trees, FAST.... / Continue →
  • December 11, 2009
    This is a Predator-themed motorcycle. If you really must know, it's a 2007 Suzuki Hayabusa with a bunch of pieces glued on and all airbrushed. Plus some skulls for good measure. It's pretty wicked. Granted, it's not as wicked as a Witch of West bike would be, but that bitch... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    Yes, even the crew of the Enterprise take Myspace-style shots of themselves in the bathroom mirror. And you don't see me complaining! What you do see is me gluing these fake elf ears on. "Nanu-nanu!" Hot chick Trekkies DO exist! [albotas]... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    This is an ultra realistic scene from Super Mario Bros. 2 rendered by artist Winona Nelson (Larger version HERE). As you can see, there's Mario and, uh, the green one and some of those masked marauders (Luigi and some Shy Guys, stop emailing me, God!). Good job, Winona. If I... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    For those of you not in the know, the latest game in the Zelda series, 'Spirit Tracks', dropped on Monday for the Nintendo DS and I'm going to go out and buy it as soon as I'm done writing for the day. This is extended 60-second commercial for the game. And I'm not even gonna... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    Neckphones are earphones for people with no ears or head. They just hang around your neck and make everyone else on the bus hear firsthand your horrible taste in music. Everybody will undoubtedly give you the stinkeye, hoping you'll take the hint and get off at the next stop,... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    This is a child's bed that was designed to make the little tyke feel as if he's sleeping in the mouth of a dinosaur. Which, true story, I would wish for if I had three wishes. It would be my very first wish. Then second and third. SHUT UP I KNOW WHAT I LIKE, OKAY?! Hit the... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    I thought this was just the cutest thing. You know, many times I've bought bags of shelled peanuts only to find a bunch of the poor bastards cracked open and missing their brains. Who knew it was the secretly the work of zombie nuts? Besides me, I know everything. Go on, as... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    "Pokemon World is a world of the demonic. Of the satanic." I knew it! This guy says a lot of crazy shit but the best is between 1:30 and 2:30. It's scary. And what's even scarier is the way all the people in the audience are so attentive. Really makes me want to start my ... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2009
    A remote in the form factor of a gun, what will they think of next? If you answered a remote in the shape of a magic wand that controls via accelerometer, too late -- they've already thought of that! Sick of soaps? Does your partner's love of religious broadcasting leave you ... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    This is a graphic depicting what the internet goes through on a typical day. It's pretty freakin' impressive. But it also made me feel pretty insignificant. Then I realized I'm practically the ringleader of this circus (metaphor magic!) and that's when I removed the hose fro... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    Apparently "20 hard-boiled eggs wrapped in bacon and covered in sausage meat and breading, baked whole." Damn. If the internet really is a series of tubes (and I suspect it is) then this is just the thing to clog its arteries. Oh -- oh -- could it be? Am I really mastering ... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    Knight Neversmiles of the Round Beerpong Table here went and made himself a coat of chain mail armor out of pull-tabs from beer cans. Although there may have been some pop-tops in there too, that wouldn't surprise me. Anyway, he did a good job but there's just no way you can ... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    There was a cow born in Sterling, Connecticut with a cross on its forehead. He was nicknamed Moses by local children, but I'm still convinced he's the anti-burger. His owner, Brad Davis, told WFSB-TV he thought the marking may be a message from above, though he is still tryin... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    That isn't your grandfather's grandfather clock. But that may be him trapped inside! (it's not -- please don't call and wake up your grandma). You see, that's really a television screen. Tricky! This clock does not actually have a man inside but a flatscreen that plays a 2... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    Instant messaging account: Free Having a heart to heart with a guy friend: Free Finding out you're the one for him: Priceless Quote #761414 [bash] Thanks to Julian, who agrees Third Strike was badass, but he's not gonna marry you over it.... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    Remember Omegle, the website that sets you up with a random chatting partner? Well Chatroulette is the same thing -- WITH ADDED WEBCAM! It's mostly dudes and like two creepy chicks (one was singing into a paper squirrel cutout glued to a popsicle stick -- not even kidding), a... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    A mysterious light appeared in the sky above Norway last night, causing many citizens to call the Meteorological Institute and others to go back to bed. Me? Suspecting it was a time portal, I would have strapped on a rocketpack and flown right into the middle of it. DINOSAUR... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    Whoever is out there making videos can just stop because you'll never top this one, sorry. Youtube Thanks to TigerCH9, who has the coolest bird ever in the history of birds AND THAT INCLUDES PTERODACTYLS.... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    This is a picture of a bunch of zombified Disney princesses (picture does not do them justice, click HERE for a full-size shot) Now I know what you're thinking, "I know they're zombies and all, but I would still 100% hit that." But you know what? That would eat your brains i... / Continue →
  • December 9, 2009
    A 25-year old Ukrainian chemistry student was found dead after accidentally blowing his jaw off with exploding chewing gum. Apparently he had the habit of dipping his gum into citric acid but may have mistakenly used explosive one time. Thanks, but I'll stick to Orbit Sweet M... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    This is a piece of "art" by a really sucky artist that I can't even believe even has the gall to CONSIDER themselves an artist. The piece is for sale at the Art Basel gallery in Miami Beach. The asking price? $75,000. I'd rather eat shit! The heads are connected to servos ... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    This is a little Left 4 Dead 2 scene made with gingerbread zombies. At first glance I thought they were decorated by a special needs child, but upon closer inspection I noted some virtuosic icing talent. Kidding, total sped. ooey-gooey left 4 dead 2 gingerbread zombies [tech... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    That's not even Pikachu, that's a stoned-ass Garfield with no stripes after eating a whole pan of lasagna (LOL -- he loves that stuff!). Oh -- and to the maker: there comes a time in everyone's life when you realize your own limitations and focus on working within them. That ... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    This is part of a little party planner from Betty Crocker about how to throw a happy-fun robot-themed soiree for a child including a creepy-ass robotic cake (and I thought you were cool!). Also, who would have thought meatball hoagies and turkey-spinach (I will whip your monke... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    And they said it wasn't possible to cut a bagel into a Möbius strip! Didn't they? I'm sure somebody did. But boy were they wrong! You think it works for donuts too? What about Hot Pockets?! Professor and artist George Hart figures out how to cut a bagel into two congruen... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    This is a video of some cat (a dude, not an actual kitty) playing the Mario theme on a piano one handed. That's one hand less than the regular amount! Now if he could play it with nothing but his head, THAT would be something. Which, true story: one time I filmed myself play... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    So allegedly there's a new eye surgery that allows patients to achieve 'HD vision'. Weird, I thought all vision was high definition. But what the hell do I know? I'm no ophthalmologist, I'm just a guy that spiced up an ordinarily boring eyeball graphic with LASER VISION!!! ... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    FOR THE LAST TIME, IT WASN'T ME. I've already been contacted by the authorities and while I may have had some interest in one of the human-operated dinos, I wouldn't be caught dead stealing a ROBOTIC model. I just couldn't do it. Literally, no boner. Staff noticed the 1.5m ... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    Sweeping a solid 27 of the 299 total write-in votes for New York City mayor, Charles Montgomery Burns certainly gave incumbent billionaire Michael Bloomburg a run for his money. Smithers -- a body massage. Burns wasn't the only fictional character to get votes in the race. Ma... / Continue →
  • December 8, 2009
    Ever wonder how butterflies would fly in outerspace? Now thanks to BioServe Space Technologies, the University of Colorado and the International Space Station, we have the answer: poorly. Hit the jump for another video of a Painted Lady (these are Monarchs) butterfly trying t... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    This is a pixelated Ghost Pirate LeChuck tattoo in the style of the original Monkey Island. It's badass and if my balls were any more steel I would have it on my face. Sadly, my little pirate huevos are 24K gold AND BLIND YOUR MOTHER ALL THE TIME. Oh, and for those of you wh... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    You'd have got to be out of your gotdamn mind to board an elevator with a robot, but apparently students at the Stanford Medical School need to reminded not to. And these kids are gonna be performing surgeries? Yeah, not on me they're not! After finishing my doctoral work, I... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    Did you know that every game of Tetris is controlled by a malevolent Tetris god? I didn't. I thought it was controlled by some oldschool Ruskie programming. But what do I know? Besides where you live. And don't even think I won't bat your mailbox -- your parents are gonna ... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    That's right you little geeks, Adrianne Curry plays some butt-naked (and STONED) World of Warcraft. Did you hear that? That was 11.5 million WoW players crashing the Nazgrel server in an attempt to scout out her Level 33 Night Elf and steal it away from a Level 4 Brady. Adri... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    I think I speak for all of us when I say some of my most brilliant ideas have come to me in the middle of the night when I've woken up on the can after passing out from puking so hard I popped blood vessels in my eyes. And what better place to scrawl all that genius down than ... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    If a trio of howling wolves and moon are so powerful, I can't even imagine WTF is gonna happen when you don an adult-sized onsie with them printed all over. Plus, they come with non-slip booties and a "trap-door" back that allows you to go # 2 without taking them off (or filli... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    I've seen plastic Army men cosplay before (I'm a freak like that), but this guy takes the cake -- not only for having a base but, yeah, mostly for having a base. I'd still knock him over with a speeding checker though. Move over, hot chicks: this cosplay's about to blow you o... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    Listen, I will never get tired of cats that literally OM NOM when they eat, okay? I'm sorry, i just can't help it. Like being neck-breakingly handsome or able to sleep in any position at work. I don't remember how we decided to give her sour cream in first place, but it made... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    This is a series of works created by Star Wars artist Matt Busch in which the original movie posters have been zombified. I like the guts hanging out of the tauntaun, that's a nice touch. And for the record -- I'd still take my chances with Han. So dreamy. To coincide with ... / Continue →
  • December 7, 2009
    This is a giant t-rex gingerbread cookie baked by Geekologie Reader Daniel in the hopes of milking a little extra presentry (wizardry in action!) out of ol' St. Nick when he squeezes his fat ass down the chimney this year. Good lookin', Daniel. Unfortunately, Santa isn't into... / Continue →
  • December 6, 2009
    We've already seen Link as Viking hoss, so why not a Simpsons character? My logic is infallible! Which, funny story, is another word I don't know what means. I'm on fire today! Contrary to Muggle belief, word wizardry isn't all about making up new words -- sometimes it's ab... / Continue →
  • December 6, 2009
    This is a flowchart used to determine whether or not you should use your iPhone while in the presence of your significant other (full-size version HERE). Of course, if you've dated any women like the ones I have, the answer is always, "NO". Also, "get a job" and, "learn how t... / Continue →
  • December 6, 2009
    This is Princess Peach as the Virgin Mary. I love the dichotomy of video game and religion. Granted I have no idea but dichotomy means but I used it to sound smart and because I'm probably the hardest hitting journalist in the industry. It's true, one time during an intervie... / Continue →
  • December 6, 2009
    You know, I always thought it was a little hard to believe that dinosaurs could have actually evolved. Know what I mean? The sexy factor. But you can't trust anything the government says anyway, which is exactly why I'm going back JUST TO MAKE SURE. And let me tell you -- i... / Continue →