Nov 6 2009Wow: LHC Shut Down Over Piece Of Baguette
Apparently coming back from the future to destroy itself isn't the only problem the Large Hadron Collider has to face, now it's being sabotaged by crumb dropping birds. CODE BREAD! CODE BREAD!
The Large Hadron Collider, the world's most powerful particle accelerator, just cannot catch a break. First, a coolant leak destroyed some of the magnets that guide the energy beam. Then LHC officials postponed the restart of the machine to add additional safety features. Now, a bird dropping a piece of bread on a section of the accelerator has, according to the Register, shut down the whole operation.
The bird dropped some bread on a section of outdoor machinery, eventually leading to significant over heating in parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic failsafes would have shut down the machine.
Wow, that's -- what's the word I'm looking for? Pathetic. And by pathetic I mean damn yeah I left that baguette there. YOU AREN'T DESTROYING MY WORLD, LARGE HADRON COLLIDER! Next time I'm bringing jelly.
Baguette Dropped From Bird's Beak Shuts Down The Large Hadron Collider (Really) [popsci]
Thanks to Futuju, Stephen, Kristi, you've got mail and sham, who tried to train squirrels to sabotage the LHC with acorns but the little bastards just kept hiding them.
Reader Comments
1. gabe - November 6, 2009 10:18 AM
First
2. davenjer - November 6, 2009 10:19 AM
Its always the damn pigeons!!!
3. davenjer - November 6, 2009 10:19 AM
Its always the damn pigeons!!!
4. Riley - November 6, 2009 10:20 AM
Alas, the baguette trap worked. Delayed time travel - check!
5. uhm - November 6, 2009 10:23 AM
So how big is a small hadron collider?
6. Ste - November 6, 2009 10:24 AM
Gabe is gay.
You just couldn't make this stuff up. Love to know if the bird did it deliberately...?!?
7. Mr. C - November 6, 2009 10:34 AM
Maybe these recurring events are signs that hadron collider should not be used as it will indeed destroy us all.
8. MasterBates - November 6, 2009 10:36 AM
Wow, a breadcrumb on a section of outdoor machinery did all this, imagine if the bird dropped some poo, or better yet, a cigarette butt...they probably would have had to rebuild to whole thing. What if it rained....or if a fly went on the machine, it probably would transform us all.
9. Jaded Icon - November 6, 2009 10:40 AM
They say birds are the first to sense danger, finally they're doing something about it. ABOUT TIME SLACKERS!
10. naas - November 6, 2009 10:40 AM
I can understand having problems guiding an energy beam with damaged magnets, it's like trying to pee with stiff morning wood. They should try doing handstands for better results
11. JADE - November 6, 2009 10:59 AM
the next person to say first is a strawberry double douche twat waffle.... so there
12. Iris - November 6, 2009 11:00 AM
That machine is a little pussy
13. LSDiesel - November 6, 2009 11:09 AM
@10, Women will never understand the pain of trying to piss at full mast, or as I like to call it, my Large Hard-on Collider.
14. GoSS Jerk no longer sterilized for your pleasure - November 6, 2009 11:14 AM
@ 13, that sir is a win...
si a multimillion euro machine can get screwd by a bread crumb... they must be doing something wright.
15. TomShep - November 6, 2009 11:23 AM
I'm thinking of it like Luke Skywalker shooting his Ion Canon into the Exhaust port of the Death Star.
Rebel sea birds VS. The evil Scientists at CERN?
16. naas - November 6, 2009 11:42 AM
@13 heh indeed... You can also use the shower curtain rod to hang upside down from, much easier than making the letter Y when doing a handstand
17. Mr. C - November 6, 2009 11:57 AM
When is someone going to invent a device that slaps douche-bag asshat spammers like #17 through their f'n monitor?
18. LubeSkyhumper - November 6, 2009 12:05 PM
Large Hardon Collider.... Baggot!
19. Akbar Lightning - November 6, 2009 12:10 PM
Hey, check out my tribute painting to the Large Hadron Collider, don't they realize they are making my work look like a joke.
http://www.kenvallario.com/Site/LHC.html
20. ciao - November 6, 2009 12:28 PM
it purposely did this for laughs XD
"oh ho ho, you humans think you're the most intellect creatures of this planet, well let's see how your mighty machine does against my lunch"
21. madgame - November 6, 2009 12:54 PM
All this time I thought it was a large HARDON collider
22. Bakery Rebellion - November 6, 2009 1:18 PM
Now we know its weakness!!! I MUST BAKE MORE BREAD TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!!
23. John Franklin - November 6, 2009 1:20 PM
This is a huge machine designed down to a billionth of a meter! I don't buy the "sabotage from future" theory, but I do subscribe to Murphy's Law! Check out some more specs of the LHC on this video: http://bit.ly/4hCaOs
24. showers are great - November 6, 2009 1:28 PM
Especially in the morning. Just step in there and pee 'till you're empty. Doesn't matter if it's sprayed upward, sideways or horizontal while you're spinning in a circle! Yay for convenience.
25. Blastphemer - November 6, 2009 3:10 PM
You got your baguette in my Large Hadron Collider...NO YOU got your Large Hadron Collider in MY baguette...
Hmmm...anyone tried eating this thing yet? Maybe they will find that they already pooped it out before they even consumed it...now THAT, my friends, could go #1 with a bullet on ratemypoop.com!!!!
Oh yeah, almost forgot to mention....poop.
Poopy.
26. john - November 6, 2009 4:04 PM
wtf.. why would they have exposed machinery outside? Crumbs wont be the only thing dropping in there, what a joke.
27. NVG - November 6, 2009 11:05 PM
@27:
It's another failsafe mechanism, just in case someone forgot to turn it down from underground while running away from the aliens coming through the portal.
28. Raoul - November 7, 2009 9:33 AM
It's an oyster catcher you morons.
29. Kaner - November 7, 2009 11:05 AM
Isnt that thing underground? how do birds get there....
30. Kije - November 7, 2009 4:36 PM
Quickly, too the Cinnabon!!!
31. bob - November 8, 2009 2:27 AM
You can seek your beauty and stick it up your ass.
Seriously, is it legal to kill spammers yet? You know... for the good of the children and all.
32. Octopus Pie - November 8, 2009 5:10 AM
Bob, it's only illegal if you get caught. I'm sure that most of us here will provide an alibi if you do manage to kill one of the suckers!
@7: I came on here to say the same thing. If it keeps malfunctioning or getting delayed in ways such as this, perhaps it's just not meant to be started up in the first place.
33. Ebee - November 9, 2009 6:46 AM
I think the bird or birds did this on purpose, red leader this is gold leader we have permission to take the first clear shot, ok clear drop it. That may not be exactly how it happened but probably pretty close.
http://www.ShopStunGuns.com
34. xath riley - November 10, 2009 3:41 PM
well at least it wasn't a CHEESE SANDWICH!! that machine is almost the last thing i'd want developing intelligence.
35. Falco - November 10, 2009 5:08 PM
Hands off my bread!
36. paul smith shoes - November 28, 2009 9:03 PM
http://www.newpaulsmith.com/paul-smith-shoes-c-518.html