Nov 14 2009The Million Dollar Man With The Bionic Ass
Ged Gavin, 55, has a bionic ass and doesn't care who knows. Which is good because I definitely just texted everyone in my phone. And by texted I mean sexted. All the kids are doing it. What? Yes I'd jump off a bridge!
Mr Galvin suffered massive internal injuries and had to be fitted with a colostomy bag until surgeons at the Royal London Hospital could perform the complex operation to rebuild his bottom.
The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter, and then attached electrodes to the nerves.These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.
"They call me the man with the bionic bottom, but that doesn't bother me. My gratitude to the surgeons is endless because what they have done is a miracle."
Colostomy bag or a bionic ass, that's a tough call. I'd probably opt for a bullet in my head. Kidding, suicide is never the answer. Unless you're my ex-wife, in which case it totally is.
Man uses remote to control his 'bionic bottom' [telegraph]
Thanks to Ross, who uses a remote control to chew but is starving because he lost the thing in a couch.
Reader Comments
1. rednexaal - November 14, 2009 4:46 PM
FIRSTTARD!!!!!!
2. Todd Flinch - November 14, 2009 4:48 PM
Fail @1
3. Mr. Anderson - November 14, 2009 4:49 PM
What if he forgets the remote and has to crap??????
4. Kevin Sodapop - November 14, 2009 4:51 PM
BITE MY METAL ASS
5. ~☻,_∫∫ ∕∕-][ Ỵ ([¦¦ ([]) ][-¦¦ ☻~ - November 14, 2009 4:52 PM
omg i wonder if it takes any effort or just push button, wipe, flush
6. naas - November 14, 2009 4:53 PM
i want to fu.ck him in the ass so hard i would c.um all over his hot ass
aaahhhhhh
i would love that very much <3
7. naas - November 14, 2009 4:53 PM
i want to fu.ck him in the ass so hard i would c.um all over his hot ass
aaahhhhhh
i would love that very much <3
8. naas - November 14, 2009 4:54 PM
i want to fu.ck him in the ass so hard i would c.um all over his hot ass
aaahhhhhh
i would love that very much <3
9. naas - November 14, 2009 4:54 PM
i want to fu.ck him in the ass so hard i would c.um all over his hot ass
aaahhhhhh
i would love that very much <3
10. Todd Flinch - November 14, 2009 4:56 PM
@ naas
we dont need to know that Dx
11. anonymous - November 14, 2009 5:00 PM
what is up with these stupid I.R.S ads here!?
12. Not You - November 14, 2009 5:06 PM
He looks like an old Charlie Sheen...
13. naas - November 14, 2009 5:13 PM
@10 if that were the real me OR if I did want to FUCK him in the ass, I'd just say so
14. shellshell - November 14, 2009 5:28 PM
how did he destroy his arse??
15. poppy - November 14, 2009 5:36 PM
ID SO STEAL THAT REMOTE AND MAKE HIM SHIT HIMSELF
16. Todd Flinch - November 14, 2009 5:43 PM
@ 13
THAT WAS YOU!
i am so confused o.O
17. FUCK - November 14, 2009 5:44 PM
FUCK
18. YOU - November 14, 2009 5:48 PM
YOU
19. Fullmetal3K - November 14, 2009 6:25 PM
First!
20. livingjetlag - November 14, 2009 6:48 PM
Beep bloop blop? More like Beep bloop plop!
21. naas - November 14, 2009 7:02 PM
ok ok it was me
22. ace - November 14, 2009 8:15 PM
My gratitude to the surgeons is endless
23. Dishy Dishyington - November 14, 2009 11:31 PM
This tail has a happy ending.
24. JJtoob - November 15, 2009 1:24 AM
Those are freakin naas trolls. But back on the topic, yeah, I wonder how his ass got destroyed. A massive brown baby, or some fun with a friend... or friends... Anyway, now he can have fun and if anyone gets stuck, he just needs to push a button. Eww, I'm not talking about it anymore...
25. Paultergeist - November 15, 2009 4:08 AM
@11 Nice joke!
26. Ross - November 15, 2009 9:21 AM
We can rebuild him stronger, better bowel movements
27. Ross - November 15, 2009 9:29 AM
What happens if he get to close to a microwave?
28. Ebee - November 15, 2009 10:33 AM
Hopefully the sphincter controll is reliable and doesen't malfunction too often, i need a clean up on isle 4.
http://www.ShopStunGuns.com
29. Dr. D - November 15, 2009 2:16 PM
Simply Amazing!
30. AndrAIa - November 16, 2009 8:19 PM
ok has anyone seen this because instantly this is what i thought of:
http://yfrog.com/izideasj
31. Amaranth - November 16, 2009 10:14 PM
what did I tell you about fisting yourself Gavin! Now he has the power to gape whenever he pleases with a push of a button.