Nov 20 2009Takes All Kinds: Machete-Wielding Taco Thief
The latest in a string of taco-related violence, a masked marauder in Illinois held up another man at machete-point and demanded the poor chap's tacos. Admit it -- if you'd have had a machete you would have done the same thing!
Elgin Deputy Police Chief Jeff Swoboda says a local resident was walking back to his vehicle Sunday night after buying 16 tacos for $41 when a man wearing a black ski mask and a hooded sweat shirt ran up to him.
Swoboda says the masked man waved a machete and took the tacos, but nothing else. He then drove off in an older-model light green car.
Wait a minute -- $41 for 16 tacos? Those must be some good-ass tacos! Say, this gives me an idea. *rummaging through closet for ninja-sword* Ow, shit! Shit shit shit shit shit. Cut myself.
Machete-wielding man steals tacos [abcnews]
Thanks to Annie, who won't cut anyone for anything less than a burrito. *phew*
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Reader Comments
1. Crocoduck - November 20, 2009 10:36 AM
Last!
2. nemesis - November 20, 2009 10:36 AM
weeee tacos
3. somerandomguy - November 20, 2009 10:37 AM
Sour creeammmm.........I want you on my taco can't you seeeeeeeee!....just singing
4. Bladedemon04 - November 20, 2009 10:39 AM
Sixty-Fourth!!
Who the f**k needs to rob 16 taccos? Couldn't he have just taken one or two? I hate greedy thieves. Thieving is fine, just in moderation.
5. Timbo - November 20, 2009 10:42 AM
$2.56 per taco??! Tacobell has them for 89 cents right now
6. Jiakasuma - November 20, 2009 10:43 AM
I would agree. I would have done the same thing! ^_^
7. That uncle who did that bad thing we don't speak about - November 20, 2009 10:46 AM
That's nothing - I once robbed a whole knife-store by threatening them with a taco.
8. Pat - November 20, 2009 10:49 AM
I own a machete and have never held anyone up for tacos. (Pizza — yes. Tacos — no.)
9. George Dubbya - November 20, 2009 10:59 AM
Tacos Rule.
10. paul smith - November 20, 2009 11:10 AM
http://www.newpaulsmith.com/paul-smith-shoes-c-518.html
11. Zing! - November 20, 2009 11:16 AM
@10 I love how noob-face bitches come in here posting their retarded websites, as if we couldn't figure out your website has nothing to do with this article PAUL SMITH SHOES!!!! Damn spammers, GTFO. I hate people named Paul, and Smith is generic as hell, so you sir, are worthless!
12. Dishy Dishyington - November 20, 2009 11:19 AM
Yawn... guess it's gonna be quiet here this morning. Last night's midnite opening was awesome and totally worth it, but I'm sure none of could sleep when we finally got home. Sigh.
At least tonite we don't have to wait for midnight. Right after work, get tickets for the 5:30, 7:30, and 9:30. Good times!
13. Psychonaut - November 20, 2009 11:31 AM
Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito... Nacho, Burrito...
14. Blastphemer - November 20, 2009 11:31 AM
@7
That's NOT a taco....now THAT'S a taco!!!
@12
Please tell me you're kidding....right??
15. Dishy Dishyington - November 20, 2009 11:37 AM
@14, uhh, yeah sure, kidding. I hate those movies. I hate the original more every time I see it, and I've seen it like 15 times. I gonna see it again tomorrow, just to remind myself how much I hate it.
And this time I'm not gonna cry, even if I have to close my eyes!
16. fdsy - November 20, 2009 11:45 AM
@ 13. FAN-TASTIC reference. Just..... awesome.
17. Jaded Icon - November 20, 2009 12:00 PM
You know he could have just thrown a couple of tacos at the guy and it would have either A: Blinded him with hot sauce or B: Distracted him so you could slip away unnoticed. Instead he n00bed up and got "deer in headlights" syndrome.
18. Blastphemer - November 20, 2009 12:13 PM
@15
Ok, ok, ok...I'll cut you some slack. All I ask, since teen romance movies just happen to have vampires and werewolves in them, is that ALL dramas and romcoms start having completely random and unecessary elements added to them as well - i.e. car chases, explosions, slo-mo fight scenes, gratuitous sex & violence, etc. You know...something for everyone. Can you imagine how much better Couples Retreat would've been had they put Jason hacking & slashing his way towards a naked Angelina Jolie throughout the whole movie??? Then at the end they could've just blown the whole damn place up!!!
Now THAT, my friends, is entertainment....and a date movie that I wouldn't mind being drug to.
Just sayin...
19. Hatch - November 20, 2009 12:18 PM
$41? It sounds like an insurance scam to me. If the insurance company asked me how much the 16 tacos cost, I would have told them $276.
20. naas - November 20, 2009 12:27 PM
HOT DAMN TACOS!!!!!!!
@Pat I have a few machete's too & I have used them to get tacos, with force
tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos tacos
Have you even said a word enough that it starts sounding weird to you? Taco still sounds delicious, just sayin
21. Megan - November 20, 2009 1:07 PM
Those better have been some Chipotle tacos at that price. :O
22. Annie - November 20, 2009 1:54 PM
@13 that reference just rocked my world.
23. Stacy - November 20, 2009 2:26 PM
I love Geekologie! Shouldn't it love me back? Go watch this! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMKXorLX3cI
24. om3ga - November 20, 2009 3:26 PM
LOL 16 TACOS?!? i think the theif did that guy a favour and SAVED HIM FROM A HEART ATTACK plus i bet he shits blood daily. maybe the theif has 16 mexican children to feed?
25. me - November 20, 2009 5:03 PM
my cousin cut my hand with a machete once, i could see the bone and now my knuckle is like twice as big cuz it's badasss
26. Billy Rapture - November 20, 2009 7:01 PM
16 tacos for 41$?
I bouth literally 100 tacos from Jack in the Box for $55 something.
No joke.
27. austinkk - November 21, 2009 4:37 PM
http://www.ihateyounatalie.com/?id=1968748
28. Ickorus - November 24, 2009 4:43 AM
Love the search tags:
give a man a tortilla and you feed him for a day -- but you teach a man to swing a machete at a man holding tacos and you feed him till he goes to jail