Ninja Fail: Overconfident (And Drunk) Ninja Attempts Fence Jump, Ends Up Impaled
A drunk and overzealous ninja, who may be the guy in this picture but was probably the kid in this video, attempted jumping over a fence in Seattle, Washington, only to impale himself on a pole. I knew about buttpirates, but who knew there were buttninjas too?! You're no drunken master!
Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help. Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
Listen, as a public service to you Geekologie Readers that think you might be ninjas, I've got news for you: you're not. You don't wear Velcro shoes so you can be ready to strike at a moment's notice, you wear Velcro shoes because you never learned to tie regular ones. And the katana set you bought at the kiosk at the mall? You've cut yourself playing Ninja Turtles, haven't you? The prosecution rests.
Police: Would-be Seattle
ninja impaled on fence [googlenews]
Thanks to Michelle loves ninjas drunk or otherwise, Rachel, Justin, Fluffy Frontstein, wes, Sally and Lizze, who actually are trained killers and could have easily cleared that fence.
-
You see that chair? Yeah, well imagine it with no glass seat and being lowered upon its spike with ropes. Did that just make your ass cry big brown tears of sadness? Because it should have. Known as the Judas Chair, the stool was used as a torture device back in the day (po... / Continue →
-
Lin Shuseng, too cheap to buy his wife one of those $4 battery operated personal massagers (or one of the more expensive ones that looks like a wand that women use to, you know, stir the soup), decided instead to spend 8 years building her a scrap metal massage chair to soothe ... / Continue →
-
A would-be thief tried to use his head as a battering ram to bust open the back door of a home in St Petersburg, Florida. He failed miserably. But I loved how he got down like a bull before charging the door, I thought that was a nice touch. Just chalk it up as a learning ex... / Continue →
